#poor ron

“Oh, it’s bad, Ron.” Hermione wiped her face with her free hand. “You’re going to hate it.” Hermione shook the hand holding the card as though preparing herself, and began to read: “What is the weirdest role-play you’ve ever done?”

The table laughed while Ron’s head hit the table with a groan. “Please, Ginny. I’m begging you to take a shot.”

Ginny winked at him. “You wish, Ronnikins.” She sat back in her seat for a moment and thought hard. “I guess it would be… when he was Godric and I was Rowena. It was a beautiful cross-house love affair.”

The laughter nearly covered the groan from Ron.

“Take a drink, Gin,” Harry said. “It’s two shots for lying.”

“Ohh, called out,” said Seamus. “You can’t lie here. Tell us the truth.”

“What are you talking about, Harry?” Ginny looked thoroughly confused.

Harry didn’t answer. He fixed her with a stare and slowly sipped his beer. Ginny’s face suddenly fell and she turned beet red.

“No, I forgot about that.” She covered her face.

“How did you forget about that? It’s seared into my memory?”

“I think I blocked it out. Can I block it out again?”

“If I don’t get to forget it, you don’t get to forget it.”

All eyes at the table volleyed between them like an intense tennis match.

“What was it?” Lavender finally asked.

“No, I’m not telling.” Ginny reached for her shot glass.

“You have to, it’s the rules.” Dean said.

“No, we never established that as a rule,” Harry said with a shudder. “No one needs to know.”

“Oh, it’s definitely in the rules.” Parvati replied.

They put it to a vote, resulting in a a 6 to 3 vote in favor of telling the story.

“Ron, why did you vote no?” Neville asked.

“Listen, I know you all want to embarrass them, but that’s my sister. I do not need to know the answer to this.”

“Too bad! You get to anyway.” Lavender turned to Ginny. “So, what did you do?”

Ginny took another shot. “Harry, why couldn’t you just let me lie? I don’t even know why I fell for you right now.”

Harry snorted. “Maybe it was my charms. Or my charming smile.”

Ginny fixed him with a look that would have sent him cowering if he wasn’t so drunk. “No, stop it. You do not get to make jokey references to this. Not tonight, not ever again. Not if you want to sleep with me ever again.”

Harry winked. “Like you could resist me for long.”

“Oh my Merlin. Just tell us!” Parvati said.

Ginny rubbed both hands over her face. “Okay, okay, fine.” She took another shot. “I’m not drunk enough for this. So, to start off, we were gifted this book of ways to enhance your sex life -”

“We all got that book from Luna,” Hermione cut in.

“- and one of the suggestions was to roleplay one of you as a celebrity.”

The table went quiet until Dean finally cut in. “I don’t get it. You both are basically celebrities.”

“Right, which made it really fucking weird. Like how were we supposed to act. So we started going really…. stereotypical.”

Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth. “No, you didn’t.”

“I don’t get it. Am I missing something?” asked Neville.

“If you are, then I am,” said Seamus.

Ginny’s head dropped. “Think of who first comes to mind when you think of stereotypical celebrity interactions.”

“Oh. My. Merlin.” Parvati said before busting out laughing. Slowly the realization dawned around the table, with roaring laughs and blushing faces.

“I still don’t get it,” Ron said. “But I’m really trying not to think about it too hard.”

“Fame is a fickle friend, Ron!” Harry said.

“Celebrity is as Celebrity does,” added Dean.

“Would you like to help me answer my fan mail, Ron?” Lavender asked sweetly.

Ron’s jaw dropped. “You two roleplayed Lockhart?” The table roared with laughter.

“To be fair,” Harry added, “it didn’t really work out.”

“Nope, nope. Too many details.” Ron took another shot. “Didn’t need to know that.”

“Well, I need to know more,” said Lavender. “Who was Lockhart?”

“How did it get there?” asked Pavarti.

“What made you stop?” asked Hermione.