#poor luci

So @xcrows-heartx asked for Satan and they shall receive. Mammon is up next and then Simeon since they were also requested.

Lucifer | Diavolo and Barbatos | Satan | Mammon | Simeon | Solomon

As stated in the others, I'm not interested in the "they don't know anything about periods" thing, but demon and angel women don't bleed or cramp for periods, they just get the other symptoms and gain an intense feeling of dread. So the brothers are aware of periods, just not the immense bleeding out and cramping. They also feel the pain through their pacts, because I said so.

Satan was on his bed, rereading Sherlock Holmes for the thousandth time since its first publication oh so long ago. Everything felt fine until he got an unsettling feeling in his chest before his pact with Mc put him through every layer of hell at once. Satan shot up and ran to Mc's room to heal whatever injury they may have. He's sure his brothers are busy elsewhere if they weren't dealing with the pain. Satan burst in without knocking to find Mc curled up in bed with an electric blanket and a bag of chocolate. He's immediately hit with the scent of blood and rushes over, almost falling due to the pain he was experiencing through the pact.

"Mc! Where are you hurt!"

Mc was as calm as the ocean on a nice day when they spoke "Hm? Oh hi Satan."

"I don't think right now is the time for conversation Mc, I can smell blood and I can feel whatever injury you got through our pact."

"Ohhh, this is normal Tantan."

When Lucifer messes up, this is what Charlie does:

A/N: sooo I saw ONE person reply my OM bros go to the pumpkin patch post and ask for me to continue soooo here’s basically part 2 of that post! You can read it here. I’m a ppl pleaser I gotta get it done y’all LMAO.

As expected, you and the seven demon brothers get to the Cheesecake Factory after the sun goes down. Satan still plants himself at the window seat and peers out the window.

“Satan, hon, I’m not sure if you’re going to be able to see cats if it’s already dark outs-“ you start.

“MC, you underestimate my eye sight. Devildom is always dark remember? We demons all have naturally built in night vision.” Satan smirks but then pulls a pair of tinted glasses out.

“So then.. what are those glasses for?” You ask, a skeptical look in your eye.

“Ah. These are but a small visual aid, this makes it so I can see each individual strand of fur on the cat! It’s very important to keep a cat’s coat healthy, you see-“

“Um.. Can we order soon?? I’m starving.” Beel interrupts and grumbles almost as loudly as his stomach.

“Oh of course! Sorry hon, I can recommend some things! The Louisiana chicken pasta is great! And Beel you’ll love the portion sizes here, it probably still won’t be enough but..” you trail off and smile.

“All this food is for normies, do they have any Ruri Hana fan specials?” Levi asks, eyes glazing over at the menu.

“Um.. I think that she’s mainly popular in Devildom Levi, sorry. But you can totally just get some apps and share! The artichoke and spinach dip is great!” You suggest and resist the urge to roll your eyes. The brothers are sweet but sometimes they can be a bit difficult.

You finally put in your order (to the poor waiter’s disdain because he had to basically tell the chef to make one of everything), and patiently wait for it to come out. While you wait, you give plenty of bread and butter to Beel who’s gobbling it up like a starved man. Lucifer’s drink comes first and surprisingly he’d ordered a dirty martini. “Oh, Luci I thought you’d had a headache though- will this help?” You ask.

“It will help me unwind a bit- this way I can manage my brothers much better, you’ll see,” Lucifer takes a sip of his drink- his brows raise in surprise. “that’s delicious. Nearly as good as the aged demonus I have in my office. Waiter, I’ll take one more please,” Lucifer nearly polishes off the first drink and says, “Make it two,” he smiles to himself.

“Oh dear Diavolo,” you think to yourself.

“Mamms what about you? What did you get to drink?” You spy his tall red glass.

“I got a- what’s this thing… Santa Maria? Sangrid- somethin’ like that- I dunno but it sure tastes damn good!” He nods, clearly already intoxicated.

“Mm. I think you mean Sangria- it’s okay Mammon, you wouldn’t know because I got special human behavioral lessons from MC earlier,” Asmo smirks, gloating.

“Asmo, me teaching you about different drinks people get at drag brunches is not “special human behavioral lessons,” it’s just to prep you for tomorrow!” You’re a bit exasperated at this point but you also take a sip of his drink as punishment.

“N-no fair! You’re indirectly k-k-kissing Asmo!” Levi complains. “Okay fine,” you say, grabbing everyone else’s drinks and taking a sip of each, “there. I indirectly kissed all of you. Happy now?”

“H-hey, ya got your human germs on my drink-“ Mammon starts to protest.

“What- you want a new one??” You raise a brow in his direction.

“N-nah I’ll just deal- but your lips shouldn’t be touchin’ anyone else’s drinks okay? Ya can sip from mine b-but no one else’s.” Mammon crosses his arms.

“Will you stop being so childish? MC isn’t yours only Mammon,” Satan huffs.

“Yeah, she’s mine too,” Belphie- seated next to you wraps an arm around your waist before putting his head back down onto the table.

“I appreciate the sentiment guys but no need to fight- I think that-“ you’re halfway taking Belphie’s arm off you when the waiter comes back with all your food.

”Thank Diavolo,” Beel beams, very happy that all the food came. Mountains of pasta, bread, and multiple types of appetizers are laid out on the table.

Beel who’d already scarfed down all the bread, started happily munching away. You watch in awe as he slides the whole plate of spinach dip into his mouth, followed by the tortilla chips on the side. “Mmm. Human food is pretty good,” Beel licks his lips. You giggle, “Glad you’re enjoying yourself Beel,” you turn as everyone starts eating. “Lucifer did you want to share this pasta? I don’t think I’ll finish it on my ow-“ you look up and Lucifer is snoring, fast asleep with three empty cups. “Oh yeah, his dirty martini’s” you snort.

“I’ll share, if Beel doesn’t get to it first,” Satan volunteers. You nod, splitting the pasta between two plates.

“Hey that ain’t fair! I want some too!” Mammon starts to argue- you can tell he’s just mad cause he wanted to share with you instead.

“Here Mamms you can have a bit. And we’re sharing your sangria aren’t we? So-“ but it’s too late, this starts a chain reaction of the brothers wanting to split each and every dish with you.

“MC, try some of this Mac and cheese ball- it’s great!” Levi tries to hand you a forkful.

“No MC, try some of my Caesar salad, veggies are good for your skin!” Asmo starts pouring some of his salad onto your plate.

“MC, have some of this app,” Belphie slides his plate over to you.

“MC, I’d share too.. if you want.. but you have so much food and I-“ Beel is interrupted by his grumbling tummy.

“Everyone, STOP!” You nearly shout, “I cannot possibly finish all this. No need to fight! Like I said, everyone relax and eat your own food, PLEASE.”

You use your hand to massage the bridge of your nose. “God. No wonder Lucifer always does this.”

After a bit, everyone finishes eating and you wake Lucifer up.

“Luci, we’re done, I tried to save you some salad but Beel ended up getting to it first. Sorry,” you say sheepishly. “Not to worry MC, I’ll ask Barbatos if he can make me a-“ Lucifer starts.

“Luci we’re not in Devildom remember? I can order you something to go though?” You suggest, “but maybe no more drinks with alcohol..”

“Right, let’s go then,” Lucifer says, looking exhausted. Lucifer pays the bill in all cash-likely the last bit of human world money they have-, and sighs, muttering to himself,

Uh so here have this miss riu

YES