Nov 13, 2025
Happy 85th Anniversary, Fantasia!
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Happy 85th Anniversary, Fantasia!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Ponchielli's la gioconda would be better if gioconda and laura had toxic hatesex and that bum enzo died
so a long time ago, @akechijubeimitsuhide made a post that was âPeter Grimes But Told As Facebook Status Updatesâ. hereâs the same thing but a) probably worse and b) with La Gioconda, well at least with Act I because this got significantly longer than I planned but then again this opera is batshit crazy and I will continue with the other three acts of yâall are interested:
*also, please keep in mind that I do not use Facebook very often so some of these features may not be accurate BUT I DO WHAT WORKS FOR THE STORY*
Act I:
La Gioconda joined Facebook 8.3.1654.
[yes I am using European date order even though I am American because setting.]
La Gioconda is added to group People of Venice.
La Gioconda adds La Cieca and Enzo Giordano to Friends.
La Gioconda and Enzo Giordano are Dating.
Barnaba sends a Friend Request to La Gioconda.
La Gioconda Ignores Barnabaâs Friend Request.
The People of Venice group attends the event âCarnivalâ.
Barnaba invites the People of Venice to attend event âRegattaâ.
Zuane, Isepo, and 124 others are going to the event âRegattaâ.
Barnaba posts on Giocondaâs wall: I want you.
-Gioconda: I donât want you.
âBarnaba: But I want you.
Barnaba contemplates reporting La Cieca.
Isepo wins event âRegattaâ.
Barnaba posts on Zuaneâs wall: hey i know why you lost.
-Zuane: why?
âBarnaba: La Cieca put a curse on your boat because sheâs a witch.
Barnaba reports La Ciecaâs account for violating Community Standards.
Barnaba comments on Isepoâs post: hey La Cieca is a witch.
Zuane and Isepo report La Ciecaâs account for violating Community Standards.
Barnaba posts in group People of Venice: everyone report La Ciecaâs account for violating Community Standards because sheâs a witch.
138 people in group People of Venice report La Ciecaâs account for violating Community Standards.
La Cieca posts: everyone please stop reporting me Iâm not a witch
Barnaba invites group People of Venice to event âVigilante Justice on La Ciecaâ.
163 people are going to this event.
La Gioconda and Enzo Giordano post: everyone please stop reporting La Cieca!
La Gioconda reports event âVigilante Justice on La Ciecaâ for Harassment.
Group Moderator Duke Alvise Badoero posts: why is everyone reporting La Cieca so much and what is this event about?
-Barnaba: sheâs a witch and we need to get rid of her for violating Community Standards.
âGioconda: sheâs my mom she would never hurt a fly
Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife posts sheâs a good Catholic woman sheâs not violating any Community Standards.
La Gioconda likes this.
Enzo Giordano loves this.
Duke Alvise Badoero posts: La Cieca will not be removed.
Barnaba is angry about this.
La Cieca sends Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife a rosary through Facebook Marketplace with the comment: May God bless you.
La Gioconda, Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife, Enzo Giordano, and 152 others like this.
Duke Alvise Badoero sends La Gioconda $100 through Facebook Pay with the comment: for your troubles.
La Gioconda comments on La Ciecaâs status update: Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife, whatâs your real name, so I may pray for you?
âDuke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife: My name is Laura.
âEnzo Giordano: LAURA?!
La Gioconda and La Cieca add Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife to Friends.
Duke Alvise Badoero, Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife, La Gioconda, La Cieca, and 174 others prepare for event âVespersâ.
Barnaba DMâs Enzo Giordano.
-Barnaba: I know your real identity: you are Enzo Grimaldi, Prince of Santafior.
âEnzo: You have no proof. I am Enzo Giordano.
-Barnaba: I have screenshots of your other Facebook account, including photos of when you and Laura Adorno knew each other in Genoa before she married Alvise. You made a fake account to get into the People of Venice group.
âEnzo: La Gioconda and I are Dating.
-Barnaba: I can help you and Laura get out of here together. Tonight, you two will get out of the People of Venice group together and you will be Dating.
âEnzo: Incredible! But who are you?
-Barnaba: I am part of the group Venice Council of Ten. This is all part of my plan to destroy La Gioconda because she doesnât love me.
âEnzo: I just wanna be with Laura!
Barnaba DMâs Isepo.
-Barnaba: I want you to write a message for me to send to Duke Alvise Badoero.
âIsepo: what
-Barnaba: write: âTo the Secret Head of the Inquisitoon GroupââŚ
La Gioconda and La Cieca hack into Barnaba and Isepoâs DM conversation.
-Barnaba: write that Enzo Giordano is actually Enzo Grimaldi and that heâs going to leave the People of Venice group with Laura tonight.
La Gioconda and La Cieca leave the DM conversation. Isepo sends the finished message to Barnaba.
Barnaba forwards the DM to Duke Alvise Badoero.
83 people attend the event âMasqueradeâ.
St. Markâs Church posts a reminder for event âVespersâ.
La Gioconda DMâs La Cieca: I want to die.
âLa Cieca: Let me share your grief; I love you.
La Gioconda, La Cieca, and 243 others attend event âVespersâ.
Act II:
Enzo Giordano changes relationship status to Single.
Enzo Giordano secretly likes Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife.
Enzo Giordano, Barnaba, Isepo, and 80 others attend event âSailorsâ Gathering And Escape Party At Fusina Islandâ.
The sailors upload âSailor Songâ to YouTube.
Enzo Giordano likes this.
Isepo and Barnaba leave the event.
Enzo Giordano uploads YouTube video âCielo e marâ with caption âcanât wait to see Laura my loveâ.
La Gioconda dislikes this.
Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife and Barnaba join the event.
Barnaba posts: sheâs here!
Barnaba leaves the event.
Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife DMs Enzo Giordano.
-I love you but Iâm afraid Barnaba is up to no good.
âNo itâs okay :) heâs totally on our side :)
-okay I trust you.
Enzo Giordano leaves the event to prepare for them to leave the group.
Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife anonymously posts video âStella dal marinarâ to YouTube with caption: Iâm really hoping and praying this plan works.
La Gioconda joins the event.
La Gioconda anonymously comments: I hope it doesnât because I LOVE ENZO AND IâM GOING TO KILL YOU AND ALSO YOUR HUSBAND IS AFTER YOU
Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife replies off anon: SOMEONE HELP ME
La Gioconda replies: WAIT IâM GIOCONDA AND YOUâRE THE ONE WHO SAVED MY MOM LEMME HELP YOU
La Gioconda helps Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife leave the event.
Duke Alvise Badoero and Barnaba join the event.
Enzo Giordano rejoins the event.
Enzo Giordano posts: Laura where are you???
La Gioconda DMâs Enzo Giordano:
-she left because she doesnât love you anymore
âno sheâs just afraid of her husband and Iâm gonna rescue her
-if you do youâll get killed
âno I wonât
-Alvise and Barnaba found the event. you can still get out of this situation by leaving the group.
âbeing a coward? and leaving without Laura? never!
the Sailors post: letâs all leave the group before things get out of hand
Enzo Giordano: NEVER!
*Enzo Giordano deletes the event, sets his ship on fire, and jumps into the sea.*
La Gioconda posts on her wall: well, fml.
Act III:
Duke Alvise Badoero invites group People of Venice to event âParty at the Ca dâOro Tonight.â
421 people like this.
Duke Alvise Badoero posts video âSĂŹ, morir ella deâ!â to YouTube with caption âI donât take betrayal lightly.â
Barnaba likes this.
Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife posts photo of ballgown with caption: looking forward to wearing this dress to the party tonightâI think itâs the prettiest dress Iâve ever worn in my life!
Duke Alvise Badoero comments: thatâd be a nice dress to die in, speaking of which I need to talk to you.
Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife DMâs Duke Alvise Badoero.
-I donât understand. What do you mean âthatâd be a nice dress to die inâ?
âYouâre an adulteress, and for that you must delete your account!
-What?
âI almost caught you last night, but you left the event. But I have evidence and you are in my power now.
-But no violation is worth the deleting my account!
âI donât care; you must delete your account!
Duke Alvise Badoero posts a video titled âGondoliersâ Serenadeâ to YouTube and DMâs the link to Laura.
La Gioconda hacks into the DM conversation.
-By the time this song is done playing, your account must be gone. If it is not, I will delete it myself.
Duke Alvise Badoero leaves the DM. La Gioconda DMâs Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife.
-I knew this would happen. Let me help you so he wonât find you.
âCan I trust you?
-Heâll delete your account if you do not.
La Gioconda removes Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife from the group People of Venice.
La Gioconda helps Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife change her account information to Laura Adorno.
Duke Alvise Badoero sees that Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife is no longer in the People of Venice group.
Duke Alvise Badoero, Barnaba, Isepo, Andrea Sagrado, Erizzo, Loredano, Veniero, Partecipazio, and 507 others are at event âParty at the Ca dâOro Tonightâ.
Duke Alvise Badoero posts: this will be the best party EVER!!!
Duke Alvise Badoero installs plug-in âDance of the Hoursâ.
2,586 people like this.
La Cieca creates Event âVigil for Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wifeâ.
Barnaba reports this Event to Group Moderator Duke Alvise Badoero.
Duke Alvise Badoero warns La Cieca for violating Community Guidelines.
Barnaba replies: sheâs obviously a witch.
La Cieca replies: for the last time I am not a witch! Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife has been removed from the group and I just wanted to pray for her because she saved me from getting removed.
Enzo Giordano leaves group People of Venice. Enzo Grimaldo joins group People of Venice and event âParty at the Ca dâOro Tonightâ.
Enzo Grimaldo posts: LAURA IS DEAD?!?!
Duke Alvise Badoero posts: HOW DID ENZO GRIMALDI GET IN THE GROUP BARNABA YOU HAVE SOME ANSWERING TO DO
La Gioconda joins the Event.
La Gioconda posts: oh man this is bad
La Gioconda DMâs Barnaba:
-if you let Enzo go and donât make him delete his account, then I will be in a Relationship with you and post a Status Update about it.
âthatâs all I ever wanted! I accept.
La Cieca DMâs La Gioconda:
-I love you, honey, more than anyone in the world.
âLove you too, Mom.
Duke Alvise Badoero posts: this is what happens to anyone who dishonors me! Look!
Duke Alvise Badoero posts screenshots indicating that Duke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife is no longer part of the group People of Venice with the caption:
she dishonored me so I made her delete her account!
509 people react with âwowâ, âsadâ, or âangryâ.
Enzo Grimaldo replies: MURDERER!
368 people reply with some variation of âthis is seriously fucked upâ.
Duke Alvise Badoero ends event âParty at the Ca dâOro Tonightâ.
Barnaba removes La Cieca from group People of Venice.
Act IV:
La Gioconda is at The Palace At the Orfana Canal.
La Gioconda forms group âEscape Veniceâ.
First Singer, Second Singer, and Laura Adorno join group âEscape Veniceâ.
La Gioconda DMâs Laura Adorno.
-Donât post just yet.
La Gioconda sends $200 to First Singer and Second Singer via Facebook Pay.
First Singer and Second Singer send $200 back to Gioconda with comment: just friends helping friends, no payment needed.
La Gioconda DMâs back: my mother hasnât been on here since yesterday and Iâm scared something happened to her. look all over Facebook for her and pray! Iâll meet you at Canareggio tomorrow so we can escape.
La Gioconda posts video entitled âSuicidio!â to YouTube with caption âmy life is falling apart, Iâm having suicidal thoughts, Iâm having a lot of conflicted feelings and things are so rough.â
La Gioconda adds Enzo Grimaldo to group âEscape Veniceâ.
Enzo Grimaldo DMâs La Gioconda.
-Why did you add me to this group?
âI want you to be free.
-Lauraâs gone and I have nothing to live for.
âListen to me.
-I want to see whatâs left of her and then delete my account.
âDuke Alvise Badoeroâs Wife is no longer on Facebook.
-Youâre lying! Iâll get your account deleted!
âIâd be very happy if you did that!
Laura Adorno joins the DM.
â-ENZO!!!
-LAURA???
â-Can Alvise find this group, Gioconda?
âDonât worry, Laura, itâs a private group.
â-Enzo, Gioconda helped me change my profile so Alvise wouldnât find me. Gioconda, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
-UhâŚthanks, Gioconda.
First Singer and Second Singer post video entitled âGondoliersâ Serenade, Round 2â to YouTube.
La Gioconda sends the link to Laura Adorno and Enzo Grimaldo.
-Remember this song, Laura? It saved your life last night. The singers will get you two into the Citizens of Illyria group. You two can live and love happily there.
La Gioconda DMâs Laura Adorno.
-My motherâs rosary will protect you. Thank you for saving her life.
La Gioconda DMâs Laura Adorno and Enzo Grimaldo.
-Think of me
Think of me fondly
When we've said goodbye
Remember me evâry so often
Promise me you'll try
On that day - that not so distant day
When you are far away and free
If you ever find a moment
Spare a thought for meâŚ
And though it's clear
Though it was always clear
That this was never meant to be,
If you happen to remember
Stop and think of me!
Laura Adorno and Enzo Grimaldo DM La Gioconda:
-Weâll always remember you! God bless you!
Laura Adorno and Enzo Grimaldo are now Officially Dating.
Laura Adorno, Enzo Grimaldo, First Singer, and Second Singer leave the group âEscape Veniceâ. La Gioconda deletes the group.
La Gioconda considers deleting her account.
La Gioconda posts on her wall:
No, I canât delete my account yet! I have to make sure my mom is still on here and I still have to deal with Barnabaâhelp me!
Barnaba posts on La Giocondaâs wall: ;).
La Gioconda replies: God forgive me for what Iâm about to do.
Barnaba replies: soâŚabout that status update about us being in a relationship?
La Gioconda replies: oh yeah, I just need to make it look nice because if Iâm going to be in a relationship with you even though I hate you, the announcement for it might as well look extra niceâ
La Gioconda deletes her account.
Barnaba tags La Gioconda in a post on his wall:
GIOCONDA YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU HATE ME WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHINGâŚ
YESTERDAY YOUR MOTHER INSULTED ME SO I GOT HER ACCOUNT DELETED ONCE AND FOR ALL
Barnaba posts on his wall:
fuck, she deleted her account already so sheâs never gonna see that, is she? :/
*THE END.*
Ah! o cuor! dono funesto! retaggio di dolore. Il mio destino è questo: o morte, o morte, o amor, o morte o amor!
(Oh heart! Fatal gift! Heritage of sorrow! My destiny is this: Either love or death!)
Maria Callas sings O cuor dono funesto... from Ponchielliâs La Gioconda.
Happy 80th Anniversary, Fantasia!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Alright, everyone, I am definitely planning to watch/liveblog the Vienna Don Pasquale (as requested by @rayatii) and the new Faust from Paris over the weekend, but please put which 2-3 of the following productions you would also like me to liveblog this weekend (the first six were the leftovers from todayâs list; I have also added four other productions that have been sitting in my to-watch bank for a hot minute):
Ariane et Barbe-bleue (Lyon, 2021)
or
La gioconda (San Francisco, 1979)
or
Francesca da Rimini (Paris, 2011)
or
La gazza ladra (Cologne, 1987)
or
Guillaume Tell [in 1776] (Southern Illinois Music Festival, 2016)
or
Orpheus in the Underworld (BBC TV movie, 1983)
or
La Juive (Munich, 2016)
or
Le roi Arthus (Paris, 2015)
or
Die tote Stadt (Strasbourg, 2001)
or
OrphĂŠe et Eurydice (Sydney, 1994)
okay, âCielo e marâ is actually amazing when sung very well
listening while I work and yâall, this is GOOD so far (is that any surprise, though?)