keep your heart open.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

gosh I enjoy this website

I've Endured, Now What?

-having a job

-not having a job

-applying for jobs

-the job market

(Obligatory disclaimer that I'm not qualified to give you medical advice, but these have helped me a lot with my muscle tension and pain)

If you're feeling significant discomfort or PAIN while stretching, back off. Don't force yourself. You can always dial these exercises back and stop at the point you need to because the last thing you want is to strain something.

TMJ syndrome (jaw pain)

- Open your mouth about 80% as wide as you can for 10 seconds, repeat 3x.

- Push your jaw forward, then open it as much as you can for 10 seconds, repeat 3x.

- Make a fist to rest your jaw on then open your mouth 10x. There should be some resistance as you're lifting the weight of your head.

Rhomboid (shoulders and upper back pain)

- Face the wall and place your arm against it in an L shape then rotate your body away from your arm to open your chest, hold for 30 seconds on both sides.

When you get more comfortable, you can extend your arm straight out behind you against the wall for a deeper stretch.

- Place one elbow on top and inside the other, hold your hands together, then lift your arms to open your shoulder blades. I can only hold this for about 10 seconds but do your best then repeat with the other arm on top.

- With your elbows bent, puff your chest out while squeezing your shoulder blades together, hold for about 10 seconds and repeat 3x.

Psoas release with pandiculation

Your psoas is a big son of a bitch muscle in the center of your body, and when it gets too tight it can affect everything from breathing to digestion. And cause a lot of pain. The exercises in this video helped me a ton. It doesn't LOOK like it does much, but it does.

This full exercise takes much longer than the others and I've found that once I did it for about a week or so, and started being aware of my posture to keep it from tightening back up, I haven't had to keep doing it all the time.

Lower back, piriformis, sciatic nerve

- Do a simple hamstring stretch with your legs straight out in front of you and feet flat against a wall to hold them at a 90* angle. Try not to bend your knees or hunch your back, just stretch as far as you're able and hold for 30 seconds.

Continue by dropping your chin to your chest so you can feel a stretch going down your spine.

- On all fours, rotate your upper body until you can feel a stretch going down the opposite side into your hips. Hold 30 seconds and repeat on the other side.

- Almost sitting cross-legged, stack your legs so that one ankle is on the other knee. Make sure both legs are parallel. Then, lean forward to feel a stretch in your piriformis (side of your ass). Hold for 30 seconds and repeat on other side.

Inner thigh

- Form a pinwheel shape with your legs, one in an L shape in front of you and the other to the side. Gently lean towards the side and press your thigh towards the floor to feel a stretch. Hold for 10-30 seconds and repeat other side.

You are not going to pass a skillcheck against a rip current once it has you.

Waves will not bow to your physical prowess no matter how impressive.

Shock does not care that you used to be on your school swim team.

If you hit your head, being good at swimming isn't going to turn you face-up while you're unconscious.