#polycurious

Like I never really wanted to explore that part of myself until recently because of how terrified I was of other people’s opinions (which, in hindsight, sounds rather stupid).

what could be better than falling asleep cuddling with not one but TWO people, waking up and making breakfast for all of you, going on dates together and literally loving one another ??

For a brief period before discovering I was trans, I thought I was poly, but then I realized I was just touch-starved, closeted, and had bad friends. Since then, it's always been that idle "meh? I mean maybe" thing in the back of my mind.

Some small musings from someone unfamiliar, not really looking for comment, but maybe if there's some through line or similar experiences, you're welcome to weigh in:

-i don't think I could do non-monogamy in an open relationships sense, I know I already get too attached as it is

-however, the thought of kitchen-table / exclusive polyamory has for a while sat in the "I mean, if someone approached me" category

-though, my personal anxiety would still stand, and I know I'd worry about "picking a favorite" or not giving equal time/love/etc

-sleeping(non-sexual) with two+ other people sounds lovely on paper, but good lord, it has to get so sweaty

-"sleeping rotations" or whatever also sound like a nightmare

-how tf do you balance three+ finances, I can barely handle my own

-my mother would NOT approve (/pos)

-but also, my mother would not approve (/neg)

-dont even get me started on long-distance in all this my brain has a difficult time for whatever reason with the logistics of it, though I imagine it's not any different

-in the more positive musings, people are pretty, and having more than one person to be "my person" does sound lovely

-i know kissing your friends is kosher, but like. It's different. And again, more than one person to kiss

In conclusion: I'm too anxious and ADHD, and obviously am just over-analyzing a lot of things, but I hope it's somehow coherent to someone. Like I said, musing, no judgement or anything.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈✮┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⭑

────────────[about me]────────★ ˙ ̟🫀 !!

• I also go by [siah], [jos], or -- josi (I'll lyk if you can use that)--

* ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 • any pronouns;most preferred -> [he/him]⭑｡𖦹°‧🎸 *guitar riff*

• transmasc, bicurious, polycurious

• 🍰day 10.30 whoop whoop

• most of my blog is my rambling; I use it like my diary. if you don't like what you see, kick rocks!

• I'm always looking for mutuals! I love making friends! 💛

• ask box status : open

• days since last slept : 2

-- fav moots 🫀

↳ my irls

@jauntybones u already knooooowww. literally a goat (literally.)

@eggcrumbb hai :3 hello sendin love rn

@nonriginalgardenlover <- literally so swag what's up dog!!

↳ other mooties

@pete-the-cat so silly!!! love your blog btw

@theeternalhost little bug. 🐜 you tbh

@lumidazed come back!! miss you, girl :(

─────────────[DNI]──────────★ ˙ ̟❌ !!

nothing specific, just don't be weird and you won't get blocked

────────────[Interests]─────────★ ˙ ̟🦴 !!

[✮] | music -- ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.

↳ I have a collection of vinyls (yes I have a record player) ˚₊‧꒰ა 💽 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

↳ -- favorite genres --

<alternative/experimental hip hop>⭐

rap + RnB 🔊

alt dream pop / shoegaze

goth rock

sigilkore⭐

krushclub

scenecore

↳ -- favorite artists --

<Tyler, The Creator> ⭐ (you'll see me post abt him a lot)

Biking With Francis

Childish Gambino

MiLES.

All Odd Future members

↳ <Domo Genesis, Hodgy Beats, Frank Ocean, Casey Veggies, Earl Sweatshirt> ⭐ to name a few

Cocteau Twins

The Cardigans

The Smiths

jnhygs

tw!n

*67

whatsaheart

🏆 -- honorable mentions --

↳ A$AP ROCKY, asteria, austenyo, Baby Keem, cade clair, che, iluvern!, JID, Jack Stauber, Jeff Buckley, Kendrick Lamar, kets4eki, kkamiistar, Lil Wayne, Luci4, Lumi Athena, MF DOOM, redveil, removeface, the bird and the bee, Valeras, Willow, Ye

↳ #tags -- 'what's on the radio 📻' + 'music discussion'

[ siah's radio top 5 ]📻⭐ (updated 1.5)

[✮] | skating -- ✩ ♬ ₊.🛹⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

↳ I've been skating on and off for a few years now (like 5 I think)

↳ so far I can only ollie, pop shuvit, and kickflip, but I'm picking it up again 🤟

↳ I love watching others skate as well, some talented names I enjoy are . . .

Dashawn Jordan <- he also a music artist and his stuff is pretty fire!! 🎧💥

Crunchie <- he's actually a long boarder but his videos are crazy and like damn it's insane to watch him

Mike Cao <- 90s skater. lowk his stuff ain't that crazy but some ish was peak

[✮] | art -- ୧ ‧₊˚ 🎨🦋୧ ‧₊˚

↳ I typically post my art on here, and if I haven't it's because it's shit

↳ I've been drawing since I could hold a pencil, and I've just recently started to become pretty decent at it ✏️

↳ so far I have 3 current characters, but I will mention characters I've abandoned

Jericho - blonde short hair, light blue button up, light purple string bow tie. I used to draw her all the time, but I've abandoned this character

Meki - short red hair, pink pajama pants with stars, yellow crop top with pink star, pink bunny slippers. I don't really draw him anymore either.

[UNNAMED] - lol he's kinda me fr (I have a genuine post on here somewhere actually describing him I'm js too lazy rn) 💽⭐

[Vincent] - blonde layered hair, tan cargo shorts, white undershirt, black baggy tee, red sneakers. skates with josiah and has been his best friend since third grade.🛹🦴

[Selene] - dirty blonde w/ ahoge, pink cheetah print bikini top, baggy blue jeans, pink sneakers. unnamed's "girlfriend" 🍰🫀

↳ I prefer digital I think, but sometimes I do go back to traditional pen and paper, and that's pretty good too, but my main thing is definitely digital ‼️

↳ #tags -- 'my art' + 'i'm like van gogh if he lost an eye instead 🖌️🎨'

[✮] | games -- ☾⋆⁺₊🎮✩°｡

↳ Resident Evil

RE2

RE3 <- didn't like the ending

RE4 <- I finished this game in 3 days 💉

RE7 <- in progress

RE8

↳ Final Fantasy

FFVII

↳ The Legend of Zelda

Ocarina of Time

A Link Between Worlds

Breath of the Wild <- I 99% this game

Tears of the Kingdom

↳ Ace Attorney

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy

↳ Doki Doki Literature Club Plus!

↳ Marvel's Spider-Man 2

↳ #tags -- will be specific to whatever game is mentioned (ex. 'ff7' or 're2')

[that's all!]

is being polyamorous a lifestyle choice or is it something like gender identity/sexual orientation that is out of your control?

can you have different relationship dynamics romantically/sexually? (for example, a single group romantic relationship but separate individual sexual relationships)

there are mattresses covering the floor, we are watching shitty movies, eating microwaved popcorn and freshly baked cookies. we confess our feelings for each other, snuggle.