Being a lady in tech instead of a techbro is already an interesting dynamic, without factoring in my personal deviations from the standard expectations. My company has parental leave for new parents, and there is a concept that anyone should be able to utilize it. Simultaneously, the company also has a history of shooting the canary as it were, setting precedence that while the company can be accommodating, it's unwise to be the first to rock any particular boat. As an undergrad, I was an econ major in Indiana. Libertarians and sexism avail. I understand that in our capitalist society, it is a risk to hire, and especially promote, anyone with a uterus and considers procreation a priority. This is both expected of me, and economically undesirable. Our CE"bro" gives off a traditionally old school masculine vibe (think: beer and football style 'good ole boy'). My coworker, hired about a year after me, had a daughter shortly after being hired. This addition was interpreted as commitment to the company. This new found responsibility secured his need for his job. I'm not sure what his partner does, although it is my understanding that he is the breadwinner. They're in the process of buying a house. That said, I'm uncertain. Being my flavor of Ace, I'm entirely certain I will not procreate. That's a big fat HELL NO in my book. Being my flavor of poly, I have a considerable amount of time with partners, away from my husband. As my non-spouse relationships grow, I feel censored when talking about my weekend plans and life goals. Given the nature of our tech (and the origin story of my marriage), I have to be very careful what I associate with on social media. Being Ace-poly is not an identity many people have an awareness about, and on the surface, can appear paradoxical, especially when one is raised with the concept that "sex is for people who are in love" or "when you love someone, you have sex with them". So, what is one to do in this situation? Is there a way to test the water before rocking the boat?
