Normalize Poly ships not being only OT3s that are dating each other, because I have some really great polycule headcanons for some of the media I am watching and AAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Normalize Poly ships not being only OT3s that are dating each other, because I have some really great polycule headcanons for some of the media I am watching and AAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Polyamorous Issues:
More suffering the more crushes you acquire!
(Help)
Same anon - sorry if I came on too strong, I actually agree with you on some things but also - I saw a reddit discussion some time ago and one of the posters was a SPN crew member and he was saying how fed up he was with their pranks, bc they turned a 4-hour thing into a 6-hour thing and it got old very fast. Like, imagine being a mic guy or a camera guy and you just have to stand there holding heavy equipment while those idiots quote porn at each other. As for Misha, of course this is only/
Vickyās business, but as far as I know 1) the third woman got dumped when they decided to have kids, so, like, you invest 5+ years in a relationship and then bye bye, and 2) he likes to pretend heās deep and whatever, and instead he picks up young fans in a bar, that looks a bit seedy to me. Itās not being poly - itās what ānormalā men want? A family at home and a hot girl whenever they want? Yeah, thatās easy. Iām only expressing an opinion bc he talks about this stuff so much, btw. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
Hi again, nonny! No problem about the coming on strong thing. I really mean it that itās fine to not all like the same people- some things bug some people more than others; I have my button-pushing topics that I canāt stand people too about. No biggie.
I'm chasing a girl that doesn't even exist anymore. I have a girlfriend and I still like someone who's a guy now. He was everything. And now he's with someone else. I hate the fact I'm jealous. I love my girlfriend. But I love multiple people. I hate myself. I don't deserve her. She's everything to me. She's genuinely everything. I'm basically cheating. What's wrong with me. Why am I like this. Why am I poly. Why am I so disgusting. Why can't I just choose the person who loves me. Why why why why why why why why.
I hate this.
Thoughts about polyamory: How many partners does it take until they are no longer selected lovers but just random people who happened to be there at the right time?

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Just got involved with someone who is poly and has a primary partner that they're with. Any tips on how to get used to the poly thing when I don't know much about it? Thank you for taking the time to answer this.
Sure, friend. Iām gonna give you the basic rundown, but if you have further in-depth questions, feel free to message me privately. :)
Firstly: Jealousy is normal. It happens all the time. You are going to have to find ways that help mitigate that for yourself. Remember to prioritize your needs. Take time for yourself. Your partner is a shared being, but hey, so are you! Remember your worth, and use your alone time to increase your sense of it. That will help when it comes time to meet the primary or else deal with their presence in your partnerās life.
Secondly: Communicate. It is always okay to say āI donāt like thisā or āThis makes me feel ickyā. Speak up with your feelings and express them to your new poly partner. If theyāre unwelcome or unresponsive to your communication, this isnāt the partner Iād choose, personally. It is and always should be okay to express yourself. It is not, however, okay or helpful to make broad angry statements like āYou donāt care about meā or āYou just want it allā, etc. Try to keep your anger from directing the conversation. Keep it to how the actions make you feel, not what you think certain actions tell you about your partner. That way, you can express yourself and be heard, without the lens of jealousy or frustration.
Thirdly: Itās okay if this isnāt for you. Some people simply do not work well without monogamy. Thatās okay! Also, itās hard to be asked to step into the role of secondary without a ton of insight into what that means, and new love is so enrapturing that it can be absolutely devastating to be reminded that your partner has another. Thatās hard to manage, absolutely, and if itās not for you, well...itās not for you.
It often comes down to how we view ourselves in love. Poly people tend to see love as a large, encompassing blanket that can spread over many people, in different areas, and can have a specific āsection of quiltā for you, that is yours alone, so they donāt see your love as lesser or unequal to that of another person that is also covered by the āblanketā. If it helps, you should think of yourself as offering something only you can give, and try to accept that another person can offer something different, but not the same or better than what you can. Loving one person doesnāt mean you arenāt capable of loving others, deeply and intensely, or having that ācouple islandā feeling where itās you and your partner in your own sweet bubble. Love is all kinds of things. Being poly means you embrace that, but also embrace the jealousy, communication requirements and honesty that it entails. People shouldnāt be getting hurt all the time in a healthy poly situation. If you feel you are, then you need to seek your love elsewhere.
Being polyamorous is tougher than I thought.
Being straight as well...doesn't seem to help.
What do I do?
It was great for a while. Until it fell apart.
I was so happy with just my two. He had agreed to open our relationship. I got to have two soul mates, two loves. I was so happy until I got greedy. I found another who intrigued me. That third ruined it all and caused me to lose my others. I hate myself for that greed. If I could flip back the clock I would. My life was bliss, I had never felt so loved or at peace. He caused me to reject them and made their flaws seem fatal. The first broke up with me. I left the second due to my anxiety of being without the first. It made me empty and alone. Its getting closer to my happiness again - but it will never be the same. My first no longer wants me to be commited to the second like I was before. Everytime he mentions it, the thought murders me inside because I still love them both and Iām now forbidden to love the other. At least I can still be intimate with him, but the first doesnt know how strong my emotions really flow for the second.