β οΈ TW: Eating Disorder β οΈ
My relationship with food has been suffering lately⦠As it typically does under heightened stress in the past.
Iβve recently caught myself withholding food for prolonged periods of time only to eat alone, in silence later. Might I dare sayβ¦ only to binge later.
Today I told my therapist how Iβve been feeling lately and then I told her how the other day I forgot to eat all day because I was feeling anxious. And then before I knew it, it was 10pm and my stomach growled - my mind instantly went to an old version of me, the Lindsay who suffered from disordered eating and I told myself βitβs too late to eat.β
And so she asked me if I ate or if I went to bedβ¦ I went to bed. I went to bed hungry, the same way Iβve went to bed hungry so many nights in the past.
Iβm not proud of this and I definitely donβt condone this type of behaviour. But Iβm here to tell you that practice and progress are never guaranteed. Sometimes we slip up. Sometimes deep-routed issues come back to haunt you.
This time, Iβm choosing to work through it instead of ignore it.
