โ ๏ธ TW: Eating Disorder โ ๏ธ
My relationship with food has been suffering latelyโฆ As it typically does under heightened stress in the past.
Iโve recently caught myself withholding food for prolonged periods of time only to eat alone, in silence later. Might I dare sayโฆ only to binge later.
Today I told my therapist how Iโve been feeling lately and then I told her how the other day I forgot to eat all day because I was feeling anxious. And then before I knew it, it was 10pm and my stomach growled - my mind instantly went to an old version of me, the Lindsay who suffered from disordered eating and I told myself โitโs too late to eat.โ
And so she asked me if I ate or if I went to bedโฆ I went to bed. I went to bed hungry, the same way Iโve went to bed hungry so many nights in the past.
Iโm not proud of this and I definitely donโt condone this type of behaviour. But Iโm here to tell you that practice and progress are never guaranteed. Sometimes we slip up. Sometimes deep-routed issues come back to haunt you.
This time, Iโm choosing to work through it instead of ignore it.
