â ïž TW: Eating Disorder â ïž
My relationship with food has been suffering lately⊠As it typically does under heightened stress in the past.
Iâve recently caught myself withholding food for prolonged periods of time only to eat alone, in silence later. Might I dare say⊠only to binge later.
Today I told my therapist how Iâve been feeling lately and then I told her how the other day I forgot to eat all day because I was feeling anxious. And then before I knew it, it was 10pm and my stomach growled - my mind instantly went to an old version of me, the Lindsay who suffered from disordered eating and I told myself âitâs too late to eat.â
And so she asked me if I ate or if I went to bed⊠I went to bed. I went to bed hungry, the same way Iâve went to bed hungry so many nights in the past.
Iâm not proud of this and I definitely donât condone this type of behaviour. But Iâm here to tell you that practice and progress are never guaranteed. Sometimes we slip up. Sometimes deep-routed issues come back to haunt you.
This time, Iâm choosing to work through it instead of ignore it.
