#pitt fandom

Pairing: Dennis Whitaker x f!reader

Summary: She’s the light of the ER, one who pushes through what no one expects her to. However, when you’re only human, that’s not sustainable.

Warnings: Description of having a panic attack and experiencing burnout.

Notes: established relationship.

Word count: 1,467

Dennis looked down at his watch, checking the time on this ever slow-moving shift. It was 3 p.m., a time when usually the chaos of the ER would begin to pick up, but today seemed to be a rarity of simple treatments and routine procedures.

The calm wasn’t the only strange thing. He realized that it had been far too long since he had last seen you. You were the light of his life, and he didn’t think he could survive going through a shift without hearing your witty comments and the soft laugh that followed. The ER needed people like you. You had a way of bringing joy into each room like it belonged there.

Dr. Robinavitch stopped in the hallway near Dennis momentarily to apply hand sanitizer, so Dennis turned to ask if he had seen you lately.

He paused for a second, seeming to consider what to say.

“Oh, uh…I told her to take a break,” he said, his tone detached enough that Dennis didn’t quite know how to take it.

His brow scrunched. “A break? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her take a break.”

It was rare that you were ever able to, but even when others suggested it, you brushed it off and kept moving. Taking a break, to you, just meant that you were helping fewer people, and that never sat right with you. Thank God for the invention of protein bars.

Robby exhaled. “Yeah, me neither, but I told her she needed one.”

Instantly, Dennis knew that something had to be very wrong. He had always believed you were nearly invincible, the way you moved through the hospital even on the most stressful days with a smile glued to your face.

“Is she okay?” he asked, quiet enough that others around couldn’t hear.

Robby didn’t respond immediately, which only furthered Dennis’s concern.

“She’s strong. She’ll be alright.”

Dennis had a few follow-up questions, but before he could ask, Robby was swept away by Dana.

So immediately, Dennis went to check the lounge, and to his dismay, he couldn’t find you. However, it didn’t take long for him to think of where you might be if you truly needed to get away.

The closed wing of the hospital, the perfect place for a crisis.

He moved quickly toward the elevator. When he reached the right floor, he swiftly navigated the halls, checking each room. That was until, up on his right, he heard the muffled sound of gasping, and Dennis hurried to the door.

Peeking in, he saw you, and the sight nearly broke his heart.

You sat with your knees pulled to your chest, breath heaving, the idea of it stabilizing seeming impossible. Tears streamed down your face, hot and unforgiving. This room, meant to give you space and solace, seemed to do nothing of the sort.

Dennis was quick to your side, sitting in front of you on the hospital bed.

When you felt the pressure dip, you opened your eyes.

The tightness in your chest only seemed to constrict further.

Dennis looked at you carefully, like he didn’t quite know what to say but wanted more than anything for you to feel better.

“Baby,” he breathed, his hand wrapping around your back.

“Dennis,” you choked between sobs. “I’m…I…I’m sorry.” You could barely breathe, but you wished he would go he couldn’t see you like this.

But here he was, and you knew he wouldn’t leave. Your Dennis would never. As much as that thought should have comforted you, it didn’t. He was witnessing the mess you had become, and that made your chest tighten even more.

You cried harder, leaning your face back into your hands.

“I need you to breathe,” he said, his voice warm and steady as he began to rub slow circles into your back.

“I—I can’t,” you gasped as your mind continued to spiral. You couldn’t remember another time you had felt such unmoored terror, like the ground had been ripped out from under your feet. Your whole body felt out of your control.

“I know you can.”

You shook your head.

He lifted his hand to your chin, directing your gaze to his.

“Just follow me. Just try, okay?”

And you did, because you had yet to master the art of saying no to the kindest man you knew.

You tried your best to copy his breathing patterns, though your breath stuttered and sped up a few times before finally synchronizing with his.

“You’re okay,” he affirmed.

When Dennis believed your breathing had fully stabilized, he pulled you into a tight hug. You immediately tucked your head into his neck and clung to him like a lifeline.

How this man had the miraculous ability to make you feel better, you had no idea. Mere seconds ago, you had wanted him to leave, but now, as he held you, that idea alone felt terrifying.

“Everything will be alright,” he spoke softly into your hair. The words felt so gentle, a stark contrast to the storm that still rattled in your chest.

“I’m here. I love you.”

You felt like a boat being guided back to shore.

“I’m so sorry,” you murmured, your words muffled against his chest.

“No, don’t be.” He pulled back just enough to look at you, his thumbs warm as they brushed away tears you hadn’t realized were still falling.

You gazed into his eyes, and echoing through the stillness was a realization.

You sat up straighter.

“No, no—I should be working. I have to—” You tried to get up, but Dennis held you in place with a firm grip on your shoulders.

“You’re not working. Not now, okay?”

“But—”

He cut you off with a firm shake of his head.

“Take another deep breath.”

You did.

His hand remained gentle on your cheek, and he gave you a nod of approval after each steady inhale.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

A shaky exhale left your throat.

“I don’t…I don’t know exactly. A patient yelled at me, said I seemed confused and that they wanted a real doctor.”

You tried desperately to stabilize your breathing before continuing.

“This shit happens all the time. I don’t know why I’m crying. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

You avoided his eyes.

“Do you hear me? Nothing.”

Your throat tightened, a shaky breath slipping past your lips. “I tried to keep it together,” you admitted quietly. “I really did.”

“I know you did,” Dennis said without hesitation. “You always do.”

“You push yourself so hard. At some point, the human body can’t take it anymore.” His grip around you was soothing as his thumbs rubbed gently against your side.

“I should be stronger than this.”

“No—no one expects that,” his voice was firm, a tone that suggested there was no way you could argue against him.

“You need to go back to work, Dennis,” you whispered, guilt filling your chest that you had kept him here.

“I will, once I know you’re okay.”

You nodded before leaning back into his embrace. He held you with one hand at the nape of your neck and the other at your lower back.

“I’m going to call you an Uber.”

“What?” You leaned back, puzzled.

“You’re going to go home and rest. I’ll talk to Robby, you know he’ll understand.”

“Dennis…” you trailed off.

“Please. Please just do it for me.”

He looked at you with a steady expression that left no room for doubt or pushback.

Your body resisted the idea, heavy with exhaustion and guilt, but your heart knew that going home was the right thing to do. Plus, you loved him too much not to listen and trust him.

“Okay,” you finally replied, and you saw the tension release from his shoulders.

He leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on your lips, an action that said everything all at once: I love you. I’m sorry. Thank you.

⸻

He closed the door gently, an attempt not to wake you if you had fallen asleep.

He crept through the front hallway and into the living room, where he saw you fast asleep on the couch in his favorite blue hoodie. The sight made his heart swell.

He knew he should leave you to rest, but he also desperately wanted you close. So after slipping off his shoes and changing, he returned to the couch. He lay down beside you, then shifted you ever so gently so you could rest on top of him.

You stirred for a second before muttering, “Dennis?”

“Shh, go back to sleep,” he whispered, brushing his hand gently over your hair.

“I love you,” you murmured, your voice quiet, velveted with fatigue.

A soft smile tugged at his lips.

“I love you too, baby.”

“Hey Abbot.” Chantanah says as Abbot passes through. “We got a new girl starting with us today.” She nods her head towards you as your fixing the id badge that won’t stay clipped on your scrub pocket.

“Ah. Fresh blood for the night shift”. He steps around the corner and holds his hand out. “Hi. I’m Jack Abbot” you shake his hand. “Hi.” As you say your name your badge falls again. Jack picks it up. “May I?”

“Oh. Sure. I can’t get it to stay on.”

Jack, with the badge in his hand, steps closer and instead of attaching it to your pocket, his fingers lift up the collar of your scrub top and clip it there. “There. Hopefully it stays this time.”

“Thanks.”

“Have a good first shift.” He walks away.

“Why is your face all red?” Chantanah asks.

“It’s a normal color thank you very much.”

The first shift was a big learning curve for you, learning how to check patients in and how to deal with insurance. By the end of the third shift, you got the hang of it for the most part. You make the decision that since you’re going to be in this position for the foreseeable future you’re going to enjoy it as much as you can. You buy themed and seasonal scrubs, along with some festive window clings for the desk, when you’re lying in bed after your shift.

You don’t really have any more interactions with Dr. Abbot the rest of the week, but you do get to see him walk by several times a shift. It was hard not to notice when he walked by, your body seemed to have some internal radar that went off when he was near.

Why were you attracted to a man in his 50’s? You had a normal childhood, there’s no daddy issues. Standing at the registration desk looking at Dr. Abbot as he walked by again you start to question all that. Why does he look so good? Seriously, it’s not fair.

- - -

You walk into the ED wearing a pair of scrubs with little flowers everywhere for a shift that marks you being employed here for a week. Dr. Robby is walking by finishing up his shift when you’re getting settled at the desk. He’s talking to Gloria about some staffing issue at the registration desk, how they’re short staffed for tomorrow. Robby looks at you and catches your eye.

“Hey. Whats your name again?”

You say your name and it comes out more like a question. He looks up your schedule and sees that the next shift you work after tonight is in two nights.

“Think you can handle a double? Come in for the day shift before yours and cover the desk?”

“Oh. Sure. I can do that.” You’re not sure how you’ll manage to stay up for that long but you’re definitely not to going to say no when you’ve only been here a week.

“Great.” He turns to Gloria. “See. It’s fixed.”

They both walk off down the corridor.

- - -

The morning of your double shift, you shower and pack your lunch and dinner and some snacks. You dress in scrubs that have little tiny woodland creatures.

You find that the day shift has its own rhythm compared to the night shift. By the time the end of the day shift comes, you’re tired but not exhausted and you think you can handle doing this for another 12 hours.

Jack comes in for his shift a bit early and sees you at the desk. He finds Robby leaning against the nurses station.

“Why is my registration clerk working right now?”

Robby sets his IPad down on the counter. “Your registration clerk?”

“Yes. She’s on my shift. Why is she here now?”

“I needed someone to fill in, so she’s doing a double.”

“This is her first week. You should have picked someone else.”

“You normally don’t care who works that desk. What’s with the concern?”

Jack looks towards the desk where you’re sitting at. “She’s too nice and wasn’t going to say no to you. She’ll be dead by the end of the shift. Just pick someone else next time.” Jack says as he go to drop his bag off.

- - -

You’re able to get through the first nine hours of the night shift. With three hours left, you’re starting to drag. You already had some coffee but you don’t think the caffeine has ever kicked in. At some point, you rest your eyes for just a second only for Jack to walk by and stop right next to you.

“Walk with me for a moment.”

“Oh. Um. Who’s going to watch the desk?”

“It’s covered. Come on. Up you go.” He grabs your elbow and makes you stand up. He places his hand on the small of your back and guides you to the ambulance bay.

“I thought the fresh air would wake you up a bit.” Jack says as he removes his hand from your back.

“Thank you. I’m struggling a bit. A double is no joke.” You rub your eyes.

“Think you can handle a couple more hours of the shift?”

You nod and yawn. “Yeah. I think so.”

“Here.” Jack hands you a candy bar. “Eat this and head back in when you’re done.”

“Oh. Thanks Dr. Abbot.”

As he turns to go back in to the ED, he looks at you. “Make sure you see me before you leave. I want to make sure you’re okay to get home. If you’re not, I’ll take you.”

- - -

By the end of the shift, you’re dragging. You have never been this tired before, everything has this film of haze on it. Every little task seems to take you forever. You think you hear your name being called, but honestly you may just be hearing things at this point.

Jack walks up to you and places a hand on your shoulder to turn you around to face him. “Hey. I called your name and you didn’t answer. You okay?”

“Yeah. Just tired.” At this point you’re dead on your feet and Jack knows it.

He grabs your bag and steers you toward the exit. “Alright sweetheart, let’s get you to bed.” The walk through the parking lot is quiet. You start to veer towards your car but Jack keeps his hand on you and steers you towards his. “I’m taking you.” You open your mouth to reply but he shakes his head. “No arguing. I’m making sure you get home safe.”

You let out a yawn. “What about my car?”

“It’ll still be here tomorrow. I’ll pick you up before shift and bring you.”

Once you get to Jack’s vehicle, he opens the passenger door for you and buckles you in. “You can adjust the temperature of you want.”

When he gets into the car, you give him your address to enter into his phone.

“Next time Robby asks you to do this, come see me. I’ll be sure to tell him to find someone else.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Of course not. You did great. I just don’t like seeing you push yourself this hard.”

When you get to your apartment building, Jack walks you up to the building’s door. “You good to make it from here?”

You nod. “Thank you for the ride.”

“No problem. Get some rest. I’ll pick you up before our shift.” He gives your upper arm a squeeze before you unlock the door and walk up the steps. When you get to your place, you quickly shower and crawl into bed, asleep in minutes.

- - -

Your alarm wakes you up about two hours before Jack is set to pick you up. You scroll through your phone for a few minutes before getting ready and receive a text message from an unknown number.

Hi. This is Jack Abbot. I got your number from the staff directory, hope you don’t mind. I’ll pick you up in about two hours, if that works for you.

You smile at the text and reply.

Hi! No problem. Thanks for driving me. 😊

You save his number in your phone and start to get ready. Knowing that Jack is picking you up, you spend a little bit more time on your appearance. Your scrubs for today have little tiny suns on it. You pack a few snacks and sit on your couch waiting for Jack to arrive. Your phone buzzes with a text a moment later from Jack.

I’m here.

On my way. Thanks again.

Jack is waiting outside his vehicle as you open the door to your building. When you get closer to his ride, he opens up the passenger door for you.

“Thank you for taking me.” You say as you set your bag on the floor and buckle up.

“No problem.” He reaches behind you towards the back seat and pulls out a Tupperware container and hands it to you. Before he pulls into traffic. “Here. It’s some pasta that I made after shift. I wasn’t sure if you were able to get up in time to make something to eat for tonight.”

“That’s really nice. Thank you. It beats the bag of chips and fruit cup I have in my bag.”

The ride seemed to go quick as you talked about work, him about some funny cases that came in recently and you about some strange patients you saw.

- - -

Robby clocks that the two of you are walking in together and that you’re holding a container with Jack’s name on it.

During the handoff, as Robby is finishing up explaining what a shit show the day shift was, he glances towards the registration desk. “So what’s with you and sunshine over there?”

“Sunshine?”

“You know who I’m talking about. New girl. Patterned scrubs. Too young for you….”

“Fuck off Robby.”

“What? I’m just stating facts.”

Dana walks by and overhears. “What’s going on over here?”

Robby smirks. “Looks like Abbot has a thing for the new registration clerk.”

Dana looks over and sees you putting some festive window clings up. “I see the appeal. She’s sweet.” She points to Robby and says, “you could use someone like that too.”

Robby shakes his head. “Yeah, not happening. This one is all Abbot. He’s quite protective of her already.”

- - -

The shift comes to an end without Jack getting to interact with you. When he goes to grab his bag, he sees his Tupperware container with a post it note from you saying thanks. You drew a small smiley face on the note making Jack smile.

- - -

As the months went on, Jack would occasionally take you home when you stayed too late or worked a double (which he hated). He seemed to manage walking by your desk a couple of times per shift. Robby was right in that he was protective of you. He tried to make sure you ate something during your shift, either something you brought or something he packed for you. Jack found himself thinking about you more often, occasionally those thoughts led to him taking a cold shower. He doesn’t know that he had been the source of many day dreams you’ve had.

- - -

After shift one day, Jack invites you to the park across the street where several others staff members are heading to as well. He picks up your bag and carries it for you, while his hand is on your lower back. As you go to cross the street he checks to make sure it’s safe for you to cross.

When you check up to the others, Jack tells you sit down on the bench. He goes to the cooler and picks up a couple drinks and sits down right next to you. He’s so close that your thighs are touching. He puts his arm around the back of the bench and somehow seems to be even closer.

He leans in a little closer and says softly, “This okay? You comfortable?”

You nod and then to look at him. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Every now and then Jack will rub a circle on your shoulder or play with the strands of hair that had fallen down during your shift. You don’t want to move at all for fear that he’d stop touching you. No one seems to notice what is going on, for which you are thankful.

After Jack finishes his drink, he brings his lips to your ear. “Want me to take you home?”

“Yes, please.”

He takes your drink and his and throws them away, before grabbing your bag.

When you get to his vehicle he opens the passenger door for you. Once you get in and settled, he buckles you in and brushes a piece of hair away from your face. After he shuts the door, he opens the back door to put the bags in, before getting in the driver’s seat.

- - -

The drive to your apartment building seems to go quickly and terribly slow at the same time. Jack finds a parking spot right outside your front door. He turns the car off and turns to you. “Would you like me to come inside?”

You bite your lip and nod.

“Can you use your words sweetheart?”

God, that word coming out of his mouth makes your face heat up. “Do you want to come inside?”

Jack touches your face before he unbuckles and grabs your bag. He opens the passenger door just as you unbuckle your seatbelt.

You can’t tell if this is going to either be the best thing that has happened to you or the worst.

The moment you get into your apartment, the energy is electric. You feel like you’re breathing faster and your body feels warm. Jack sets your bag down on the table and turns to you.

“If I’m reading this wrong, let me know now.” He scans your face. “Do you want this?”

Keeping your eyes on him, you nod.

“Words, sweetheart.”

“I want this.” You whisper to him.

He places his hands on your face and kisses you. What starts out as something soft quickly turns heated as you let out a soft moan. Your hands come up to clutch his shirt. The kissing seems to deepen and the space between you is nonexistent.

You lead Jack to your bedroom. He takes a moment to look at you, kiss bitten lips and eyes blown wide. You take off your top and pants leaving you in your bra and underwear. “Beautiful.”

Jack takes his clothing off including his underwear leaving him bare. He steps closer to you and undoes your bra and pulling off your underwear. “Lay on the bed sweetheart. I want to see you underneath me.”

Jack climbs on the bed after you. He brushes some of the hair from your face and kisses you. You feel how hard he is and it makes you more wet.

Jack opens up your thighs and holds them apart giving each one a kiss. He works his way to your center and gives you a long lick.

“Jack!”

You’re shaking as he draws out your pleasure, rotating between his fingers and his tongue.

“Please. Jack.”

“What is it angel? Huh? Use your words.”

You squirm and he keeps you in place. “I want you inside me.”

Jack gives your clit one last kiss before he sits up and notches himself at your entrance. “Such a good girl using your words.” He doesn’t ease you into it as he bottoms out in one thrust.

He changes the angle of your hips and finds the spot that takes your breath away. “Where do you want me to cum sweetheart? Not gonna last long with you squeezing me like that.”

“In - Inside.”

“Fuck.” He drops his head to your shoulder. “You sure?”

“Yes. I’m - I’m on the pill.”

Jack’s grip on your hips and thighs tighten. “Baby. I need you to cum before me.” His pace is starting to get erratic. He takes two fingers and finds your clit rubbing tight circles. “Come on. Let go.”

You cry out his name as you cum. You think you hear Jack groan out the word fuck and your name but honestly your ears are ringing at the moment.

as reader and jack fall into the new routine of being roommates, reader struggles with the unexpected toll their coworker's opinions and speculation are placing on her.

burnt out, emotionally exhausted, and struggling daily to ignore/grapple with/confront/hide/completely deny her ever growing feelings for jack abbot, reader searches for an easier way to go about this whole living with your boss that you're low-key in love with thing.

contains: no use of y/n (etc), (f)reader is a fourth year resident, Jack Abbot is !downbad but also equally !repressingallemotion because of his !deadwife and !oldmaninsecurity, reader is oblivious and constantly denying her fat crush on Jack, reader is tired and stressed and overall needs a BREAK, angst stress tension comfort loveylove etc.

I know that because the people in charge of this site went full Puritan, the instinct is to go to Twitter with your NSFW material (or any that you're worried might get flagged since they have a hair trigger)

I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU TO STOP MAKING US GO TO TWITTER TO SEE YOUR WORK

Ao3 is very literally RIGHT THERE

THE PROMPTS

HOW TO PARTICIPATE

Okay my pittlings. This is the first fanfic I’ve written, but I am well read. I don’t have an AO3 account yet so I’m testing the waters on my writing skills and posting chapter one here. Please tell me if I should continue or throw it in the trash. Or just how I can improve. I’m just a nurse obsessed with the PITT and Whitaker, don’t worry my husband already knows he’s my new obsession. I also don’t actually work in the ER, (yet! I have applied, not because of the show though. Don’t get it twisted.) but I do work in Orthopedic Trauma and float to the ER occasionally. Anyways enjoy my story more characters will come along in the shift if you like it. Much love *mauh*. This is also a Whitaker x OC, but more people may get thrown into the mix, *cough* Jackie Poo.

Masterlist <---- Next Chapters Here :)

Chapter 1: Right Place, Right Time

Kristina Larsen a 26 year old ER nurse with 3 years of experience from a small town in South Dakota moves to Pittsburgh to start a new life. Little did she know that when she entered Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center’s ER there would be more chaos than shes used to in the emergency room. She may be finding herself breaking the rule she engrained into herself since graduating nursing school again. Never date the four P’s as a nurse: Police, Paramedics, Physicians, and (P)firefighters.

Dr. Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x Reader

I’ve been lowkey obsessed with The Pitt recently, so I decided to try my hand at some fanfic. Loosely inspired by the scene in Titanic where Rose and Jack first meet and the Gilmore Girls episode of this same title. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Mentions of suicide and self-harm

The Fourth of July shift had been brutal. Holiday shifts always were, but today felt even heavier than usual. An abandoned baby, a man who drank himself to death trying to outrun sorrow, a mom dying of cancer, a coworker dragged out in cuffs for trying to keep a patient safe. But truthfully, none of those things bothered you more than the look on your attending’s face as Dr. Al-Hashimi questioned the mother of the pediatric heatstroke.

“Have you ever thought about hurting yourself?”

It was a standard question for the situation, but Robby’s eyes belied something far more personal. It was enough to make bile rise in your throat. You’d watched him all day: the short temper, the clipped words, the way he’d disappear for a few minutes only to come back looking like he’d aged another year.

You knew the others were concerned too. You’d heard Ahmad comment on his lack of helmet when he arrived that morning. More than once, Dana had pulled him aside with that tight, frustrated look on her face. Abbott had spoken to him quietly, serious in the way only he could be. Even Whitaker explained the housesitting situation to Santos in an uneasy tone. They all saw it. They circled the drain of worry, offering careful words about the upcoming trip, about resting, about checking in. No one ever came right out and named the fear sitting in their chest.

You couldn’t keep dancing around it anymore.

You’d spent years keeping your feelings locked down, strictly professional. Robby was the attending who’d guided you through the worst cases, who remembered the little things that got you through impossible days. Whatever else you might have felt for him—you’d buried it. He was your superior. He carried enough already. You told yourself he wouldn’t want anything more from you anyway. It was easier that way.

But, tonight, you feared easy might lead to something you couldn’t live with.

You found him in the rarely used on-call room at the end of the east hall. The door was cracked. You pushed it open without knocking.

Robby sat on the edge of the sagging bunk, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor. His scrub top was untucked, stethoscope still looped around his neck like he’d forgotten it was there. The buzzing overhead light cast harsh shadows across his face.

He didn’t look up. “Shift’s over. Go home.”

You stepped inside and closed the door behind you. The click sounded too final in the small space.

“I’m not here as a coworker,” you said, voice low but steady even as your heart hammered. “I’m here because I’ve been watching you. Everyone’s worried, Robby. Dana, Abbott, Whitaker — they’re all concerned.”

He let out a tired breath and finally lifted his head. The hollow exhaustion in his eyes twisted something deep in your chest.

“Yeah,” he muttered. “I’ve heard them.”

You moved closer, stopping right in front of him so he had to tilt his head back to meet your gaze.

“Robby.” You swallowed once, then said it plain and unsoftened: “Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

The question dropped into the quiet like a stone.

His face went utterly still. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again.

“I— what?” The words came out rough, almost strangled. “You can’t just… ask me that.”

He moved like he was trying to stand, but his legs didn’t quite hold. He sank back onto the bunk, one hand gripping the thin mattress like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

His breathing hitched. Those steady eyes that had walked you through countless traumas now shimmered with unshed tears. He blinked hard, but one slipped free anyway, tracing down his cheek.

“You’re serious,” he whispered, voice cracking.

You held his gaze, refusing to look away. “Someone had to be.”

Robby pressed the heel of his hands hard against his eyes, like he could physically keep himself from falling apart. A choked sound escaped anyway, half laugh, half sob.

“Jesus Christ.” His shoulders curled inward as the first real crack showed. “Nobody… nobody just says it.”

He looked up at you again, something painfully close to relief warring across his face. Another tear slipped free. He didn’t wipe it away.

“I keep thinking how easy it would be to just… not come back,” he admitted, barely above a whisper. “Not a plan. Not like that. Just riding until it ends quiet. No more shifts. No more families screaming in the waiting room. No more carrying everything.” He shook his head, voice fracturing. “I’m not— I don’t know if I’m— fuck.”

You didn’t answer with words. You simply moved forward and sank to your knees on the cold linoleum so you were eye-level with him. Gently, you placed your hands over his where they now rested on his knees.

That was all it took.

He broke fully then—a raw, shuddering sob tearing from his chest as he fell forward into you. You caught him, arms wrapping around his shoulders as he buried his face against your neck. His whole body trembled with the force of it, years of carrying the weight finally spilling out in the dim, buzzing room. You held him there on the floor, one hand stroking the back of his head, the other pressed firmly between his shoulder blades.

You stayed like that for a long time before his uneven breaths began to slowly even out against your skin.

Eventually, he pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes red-rimmed and raw. His voice was hoarse and when he spoke, the words kept catching between hiccups. “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” you said softly, your hands still resting on his arms.

You let the silence settle. Waiting for him to make the next move.

He swallowed hard, searching your face. “Well… where do we go from here?”

You hesitated. The protocol was clear. Call a 302, monitor for 72 hours, admit for in-patient treatment if needed, and wait for a bed in psych. In other words, alert the entire department that their respected leader was slipping. He’d be stuck in his own ED, with people he trained and worked with asking him the questions he had taught them how to ask. They’d all be worried. They’d all wish him well and mean it. But there would be no coming back from that. Not really. You sighed as you considered it all.

“Against every professional standard we have, I’m not calling in a psych hold. I don’t want this turning into a spectacle for the whole department.”

Robby let out a dejected sort of laugh that cracked at the edges. “I think I’ve already been making a spectacle all day with the outbursts anyway.”

A small, tired smile tugged at your lips. “Tell you what, I have the next three days off. You can come to my place or we can go to yours, doesn’t matter. But I’ll stay with you. You can get some real rest, and then we can come up with a plan. If you want, I can even come in with you to talk to Caleb again. We’ll sort through it, and you won’t be alone.”

He considered it for a minute before letting out a weak agreement. Then he hesitated, glancing toward the door. “I don’t really wanna face anyone right now.”

“I’ll handle it,” you said without missing a beat. “Wait here, and I’ll go get your stuff. We can head out the back.”

You slipped out of the on-call room, moving quickly and quietly through the halls to gather both your things and his—jackets, bags, keys, the helmet he didn’t use—without drawing attention. The distant sounds of the department filtered through: monitors beeping, voices calling for labs, the low hum of another night that wouldn’t slow down.

When you returned, he was still sitting there, looking smaller than you’d ever seen him. You handed him his jacket and bag, and together you moved through the back corridors, toward a side exit. You’re almost there when he slows with realization.

“My bike…” he says. You understand. Leaving the bike would be kind of a dead giveaway that something was wrong.

“We can sneak back around the front and get it if you feel comfortable,” you reassured him. “I’ll just leave my car here. Driving through all the Fourth stuff would probably be a bitch anyway. ”

He stared at you for a long moment, something unreadable flickering across his face. “You’re trusting me to drive to after…” He didn’t have to finish.

You met his eyes steadily. “You may be reckless with your own life right now, Robinavitch, but I know you wouldn’t risk anyone else’s, including mine.”

Robby just looked at you like he couldn’t quite believe this was all real—his expression raw, disbelieving, almost fragile. “That’s… a lot of faith in me.”

“It’s well-placed faith,” you said quietly but surely.

The walk around to the front was short and silent. His motorcycle waited under the lights. Robby held out the helmet to you.

You shook your head. “No. You wear it.”

He gave you an incredulous look, the kind that said ‘are you kidding me right now?’

You offered a small smile in return. “Surely you aren’t going to try and sell me on the importance of motorcycle safety given the situation.”

He actually laughed at that—the first real one you’d heard from him in what felt like forever. It was rough around the edges, a little cracked, but genuine. Had it been anyone else, you wouldn’t have dared joke about any of this. But this was Robby. Your Robby (even if he didn’t know it yet). And, after the raw, heavy confrontation in that room, you knew a sliver of levity was exactly what he needed.

You took it and clipped it onto your backpack. As Robby kickstarted the Triumph.

“You ever seen Titanic?” You ask as you slide your arms around his middle.

“Yeah…” He glanced over his shoulder at you, clearly trying to figure out where you were going with that question.

“You jump, I jump, Jack.”