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Computah!! Show me old men yaoi with a sprinkle(a bucket) of pain(suicidal ideation and painful yearning)!
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the rabbot angst is so insane like that would not be an easy relationship. I knowww they both have crazy anxious avoidant attachment styles.
robby who wants to cling closer to jack because he's so desperate for him to stay, wants to know where he is at all times, if he secretly hates him. robby who can't stop thinking about leaving first, because if he leaves, he can't be left. not again.
jack who's been so lonely for so long without his wife, and couldn't bear the grief of losing another partner, so he's checking in with robby every half hour. unable to sleep at night, pressing his fingers to robby's pulse. are you still here. are you still alive. jack who's also terrified of letting himself be this close to someone because of his grief. because he really, really can't go through that again.
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rabbot's failed hookup before they become a qpr. leaning back against the headboard and smoking after, a little quiet, til jack, blunt as ever, speaks up.
that was kinda shit.
robby hums. ....yeah.
jack sighs out a breath of smoke, tilts his head to look at robby's side profile. studies the curve of his nose. this is nice, though.
robby looks back, meets his gaze for a moment. he snubs his cigarette out, breaks the eye contact. he lost his erection halfway through, never came, but something in him still feels sated, somehow. it is.
jack snubs his own cigarette out, shuffles himself closer, leaning his head onto robby's shoulder. easy, familiar. we should just... skip to this part, next time.
robby swallows thick, hesitantly leans into it, head resting on top of jack's curls. despite feeling as if he definitely doesn't deserve this, he lets himself have it, this softness, for a while. ...we should.
