(a.k.a I kinda get a bit salty on this one)

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1. Laurel and Tommy - Arrow

As soon as they got introduced I felt the feeling of doom. Because they were so immediately adorable and full of chemistry. I loved them from the word go even though it was so clear they were going toward a Laurel and Oliver resolution (and then to add insult to injury they changed their minds on that, but Tommy was taken from Laurel anyway).

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2. Clara and Danny - Doctor Who

It's up for debate if Clara's relationship with the Doctor was meant to be romantic-coded or not (I personally prefer it as 'not' but they really were very fuzzy with the lines) but either way Danny was still used as the threat that might separate them. And that was really annoying for me because I liked Clara and Danny so much. And then they killed him (which is a scene that still tears my heart to pieces).

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3. Cordy and Doyle - Angel: The Series

They were short and sweet and I enjoyed them (and though the Cordy and Angel thing wasn't really a thing at the time, there were some signs that it was on the writers' minds... and I wasn't a fan). And then they killed Doyle (...I might have to rename this post to 'killing off the love interests I actually enjoyed to give way to the ships I didn't').

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4. Rachel and Joey - F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

This ship went past my notice when I watched the show as a kid (my entire obsession rested on Monica and Chandler) but after rewatching as an adult I actually really liked their potential. It might have come up a bit unexpectedly but there really was something quite genuine about it (and Rachel deserved so much better than Ross). I wish they hadn't ended it as such a joke.

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5. Worf and Troi - Star Trek: The Next Generation

They were created with the sole intention of getting in the way of Troi and Riker. But I liked them better. I just found them more interesting.

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6. Tamsin and Bo - Lost Girl

They were more fun to watch than Bo and Lauren, had better chemistry and I just enjoyed them a lot more ('and then you see you' living in my head rent free for years now). But instead they gave Tamsin the short end of the stick and used her as a stepping stone (in so many ways, genuinely, even past shipping they just never gave that Valkyrie a single break... and then killed her in the most insulting way possible, because of course they did).

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7. Wynonna and Dolls - Wynonna Earp

Talk about chemistry. Season 1 of that show was so good and I really did fool myself into thinking this was where they were heading but no, of course not (I should have learned my lesson about Emily Andras after she killed off Hale on Lost Girl). How is an old dude with a gross mustache more interesting than a literal dragon? The answer as far as I'm concerned... they're not (now guess if they killed him off. Guess!).

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8. Lucy and Flynn - Timeless

A tragic love story happening in the wrong order and out of time because he meets her when he needs something to hold on to and she gives him a crusade. And she meets him while he's zealously following that crusade and thinks he's just a terrorist? Dude. But no, apparently the happy ending is supposed to be the guy that wanted the cake and to eat it too (sometimes I genuinely boggle at how the writers just will not notice when they've hit gold and instead go on beating that dead horse even more to death (and yup, somehow manage to kill the gold)) .

9. Dutch and Johnny - Killjoys.

(First I have to say that I still recommend this show a 100% and this is just quibble of a shipper at heart) But how is it that when you build the whole series around the heart of this relationship, you still end up using Johnny as a brief stop point (a la basically a Married!AU) before you put Dutch back with his brother? Like, yes, they're each other's best friends and always will be but people that are in love can be each other's ride or die best friends too.

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10. Mel and Abigael - Charmed (2018)

It isn’t a coincidence that the face of the British soldier is cast as a Black man — not a person in a position of privilege in the racialized, imperialist state in which he lives and which he has fought for. The show has no interest in exploring that further.

Twelve’s run of Doctor Who is a lot more unflinchingly critical of the military and militarism in terms of its sci-fi scenarios, in episodes such as “Into the Dalek” and “The Zygon Invasion”/“The Zygon Inversion” especially. But in terms of Britain’s actual imperialist agendas in the Middle East, Danny Pink and his mindset are treated with a lot more compassion and he is able to be redeemed, to undo his mistake. He pays for it with his life, of course, but he is able to clear his soul and prove that he is good, that the common soldier is good, and ultimately capable of being innocent. His guilt is centered, not the life of the child he killed, and it’s yet another example of Western media making its soldiers the real victims of their own war crimes.

Danny himself seems conflicted about his role in the army. In “The Caretaker,” Clara attempts to defend Danny to the Doctor, reminding him that Danny is a maths teacher, not a soldier. But Danny refuses to be defended. “One thing, Clara. I'm a soldier, guilty as charged,” he says. “You see him? He’s an officer…I'm the one who carries you out of the fire. He's the one who lights it.” His point about the Doctor being an officer is an interesting one, and we can argue all day about the degree to which it’s justified. That’s kind of what season eight, with all its heavy-handed writing, is for. But Danny still believes that the job of a soldier is to carry a person out of the fire, that it’s got “a moral dimension,” as he says in “Into the Dalek.” It’s an identity he doesn’t quite want to let go of, and that extends beyond the posturing that he and the Doctor are doing in “The Caretaker.” 

But it isn’t that simple, of course. After all, after the events of “Kill the Moon,” we get this exchange between Danny and Clara:

DANNY: I think I've seen this look before.

CLARA: No, you haven't. This is new for me.

DANNY: No, not on your face. On mine.

CLARA: What did you do?

DANNY: I left the army.

CLARA: You loved the army.

DANNY: Yep. And then one day I didn't.

He killed a child, by accident, and that persuaded him that he didn’t belong there, that being in the army had changed him in a way he didn’t like. Of course, it’s the officers that are to blame, as he hints at at the end of “The Caretaker” when he expresses his concern that Clara followed the Doctor’s orders without question or fear, comparing it to his experiences with officers during his time in the army. Now, that is one criticism of Clara that does not seem fair, to be honest. “Listen” and “Dark Water” come to mind. But the more interesting point is what it says about Danny. His clear criticisms, the idea of killing anyone, including yourself, because you’re told to, and turning into someone you’re not, are exactly the same as the Doctor’s. In this respect, they do understand each other. It’s just that they assign the blame a little bit differently. The Doctor has been an officer, in Danny’s terms, but he has been a soldier, too. The Doctor’s anger at Danny and all soldiers is pointed just as much at himself, but like Danny, he excoriates himself for it in private, and everyone else for it in public. It makes both of them honorable, and both of them hypocritical. And of course, much of the fandom chooses to take a more dichotomous interpretation, on racial lines.

Because it also isn’t a coincidence that yet another left-behind love interest is cast as a Black person (see Mickey Smith, Martha Jones, even arguably the young adult Melody Pond). It isn’t a coincidence that yet another person the Doctor underestimates and belittles is cast as a Black person. No, the Doctor doesn’t do it because he’s Black, he does it because he’s a soldier. But the Doctor isn’t real. Steven Moffat and Russell T. Davies and everyone else who made that choice are real, though, and are allergic to treating Black characters with care.

I do not understand how the fandom can consider Danny to be pushy or controlling. He never once asks her to leave the Doctor. In “The Caretaker,” all he asks is that she tell him if being with the Doctor ever stops feeling good, “because if you don't tell me the truth, I can't help you. And I could never stand not being able to help you.” Clara ends up meaning to leave the Doctor, but then backtracking, but deciding to deceive Danny, because she, internally, has a sense that she is doing something wrong by not breaking her relationship with the Doctor off. When Danny finds out in “In the Forest of the Night,” he tells her once more, “I just want to know the truth. I don't care what it is. I just want to know it.” He doesn’t leave her. He forgives her, and wants to help her, once again. He just doesn’t want to be lied to. And as we see in “Dark Water,” Clara really would have told him the truth. She is capable of it. 

Danny is not a bad boyfriend. Danny is an incredibly good boyfriend. The problem is that he and Clara are not compatible, and that even as he challenges her, she doesn’t challenge him. He helps her, but he kind of just. Exists to help her. He exists to send her a message, to give her an opportunity to become less like the Doctor, more grounded, more human, but honestly, she’s already too far gone. From “Listen” to “Flatline” to “Dark Water” to “The Girl Who Died” to the culmination of “Face the Raven” and “Hell Bent,” we know that Clara will become the Doctor. I love her for it. I love how she and the Doctor are so evenly matched, how they push each other to be braver, kinder, stronger, but more arrogant and reckless and caught up in one another and their big-scale adventures and saving the universe. All things that don’t leave them much time to stop and think and stay. 

At the end of “In the Forest of the Night,” Clara asks Danny to come with her and the Doctor to watch the solar flare, but Danny refuses. He tells her, “I was a soldier. I put myself at risk. I didn't try too hard to survive, but somehow, here I am. And now I can see what I nearly lost. And it's enough. I don't want to see more things. I want to see the things in front of me more clearly. There are wonders here, Clara Oswald. Bradley saying please, that's a wonder. One person is more amazing, harder to understand, but more amazing than universes.” That’s a beautiful philosophy. And it is one that Clara is utterly incapable of adopting at this stage. It’s good for her to hear, and leads her towards compassion, and she respects and admires Danny all the more for it, but she cannot emulate it. She has a sweet moment with him, but then leaves to see the solar flare with the Doctor. Meanwhile, she doesn’t try to persuade Danny otherwise. She doesn’t want to change him. In her eyes, he is perfect already. But that’s the problem. He’s perfect. He’s not really a fully developed character, he’s a symbol, and eventually he’s a motivation. But the Doctor on the other hand…well. He’s harder to understand but more amazing than universes, to Clara. 

That’s not to say that Danny is an uwu softboi. His feats of badassery in “The Caretaker,” “In the Forest of the Night,” and “Death in Heaven” are amazing. I once saw a meme on this very site of Danny and Clara as Clark and Malfina, and you do you, but…I wildly disagree. Danny is not just Some Guy. He is an incredibly self-aware, deeply thoughtful person with a hero’s skill set. He’s just not the type of hero that Clara is, and that the Doctor is. The Doctor Who narrative demands that either he change, or he leave. And for all the messiness of “Death in Heaven,” I am glad that he didn’t change. 

Even in the throes of her “Dark Water” rampage, Clara knows that she’s clinging to Danny as a symbol as well as a man. When she’s talking with Danny’s consciousness at the 3W institute, trying to get him to cooperate with her resurrection attempts, she tells him in desperation, “I have to be with Danny Pink.” Not with you, but with Danny Pink. The name means an entire life, a human life, that she realizes she’s cut ties with, that’s dead in so many ways. It’s selfish of her to see him that way. But it’s also understandable and complex and makes her a better protagonist, not a worse one (so many critiques of Clara are really anger that a female character is as complicated as the Doctor…). And in the end, she has to let him go, and let him die on his terms, repaying his debts. Meanwhile, Clara throws herself more into her Doctor identity than ever. She never attaches herself to another human in quite the same way (flippantly mentioned Jane Austen fling aside). She dies by trying to fill the Doctor’s shoes, by being too compassionate but above all too clever, too arrogant. It’s only when she realizes, once more, that she is mortal that she briefly calls on Danny Pink’s name, his identity to her, the symbol that she has made him into, one last time. 

*vibrates* OT3 OT3 OT3 OT3

2213 words; exists in the AU where Clara has two boyfriends (though they are not boyfriends together bc I highly doubt Danny swings That Way); there are times where I really REALLY wish we had that extra episode along in the s8 production, because we could have had some more time with these three and gotten more along the lines of dynamic and character growth; contains Danny Pink and Pinkwald positivity coexisting with Whouffaldi, so if you don’t like it you can bugger off

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