#phuckupwrite

I have a thought in my head about Soundwave and SG Soundwave. Like... The original Soundwave has the vibe of a single mother with many children, and he has 99.9% of his life under control. Most of his children listen to his and at least try not to do anything stupid.

SG Soundwave has the vibe of a single father with many children, and 99.9% of his life is NOT under control. His children are more like a generator of shit from literally any situation.

While the first one lives by occasionally solving tricky questions, the second one gets a nervous tic when things are going TOO well.

I really need a ff where Clark Kent is NOT Superman. Like, he's still a Kryptonian, he still has all his super powers, but he's NOT Superman. In fact, this asshole with his pants on top of his costume is his twin brother *any fucking name you want, I want Clay, I hope you don't mind*.

While Clark works in Metropolis, struggling to make a career as a journalist. His brother works on the family farm, occasionally taking on hero duties.

And everything would be fine, but the situation escalates when Clark's entourage starts jokingly talking about the similarities between him and Superman. And then Batman shows up at his apartment, appearing eerily from the shadows.

So how can poor Clark explain that it's not him, and that CLAY, DAMN IT, YOU'RE A DAMN IDIOT, DO SOMETHING!

I don't consider this a SuperBat fanfic or a fanfic with any other pairing. I probably see more of this sitcom, but let's be honest, the romcom is also pretty good, lol.

I don't know if anyone has written this before, but if they have, please, kind people, give me a link, please.

Okay, with a heavy heart, I'm ready to admit that I'm giving up.

I've been playing with the idea of Super Twins for the past few days, and I think it's just for one scene.

Just... Imagine Bruce finally deciding that it's time to meet Superman in person, because Superman has invaded Gotham a couple of times (just flying over it, lol) and Bruce really doesn't like it.

This guy's doing an investigation and... Is he wrong? You know, like, he was really, really close to coming to Clay Kent's farm in Kansas. But Jimmy Olsen was so generous and tweeted dozens of times about how much his colleague looked like Superman. So... Bruce also fell into the trap of "Clark Kent looks SO much like Superman" (Poor Clark, someone help the guy, or better yet, kick Clay's ass).

So one evening, Batman just shows up at Clark's apartment and literally:

Bats: I know who you are, Clark Kent.

Clark: I'm not Superman.

Bats: ...

Clark: Seriously, I'm not him. Really.

Bats: ...

Clark: ...

And they both just stand there awkwardly, staring at each other, because DAMN IT, BATMAN IS IN MY APARTMENT, AND DAMN IT, HE'S NOT LIEING, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!!

And then Clay lands on the balcony in his Superman costume, saying, "Bro, you won't believe what I did a couple of minutes ago!"

😃😃😃

And it gets worse and worse, lol.

I know it's illogical and it's unlikely that Bat would make such a mistake. BUT! When I came up with this AU, I was inspired by Batman 2022 and Superman 2025. And. Well. It makes sense with them, lol.

Well, I have a silly thought about Megatron.

Just imagine that he had a sparkling and gave baby a loud and DAMN screaming name.

When the sparkling is small, it's funny, but when it grows up, it's just:

Fuck, why didn't my second creator influence this shit...

For me personally, it's because of the name Dominator/Dominatrix (depending on the tender or whatever you like, I don't know, lol).

Like, this sparkling would definitely have a nickname that he/she/they would use as their MAIN nickname, and I'm like, because:

"I FUCKING WANT TO LIVE MY LIFE IN PEACE, AND HE CALLED ME DOMINATOR/DOMINATRIX, I WAS THE SIZE OF A SMALL STONE, AND HE CALLED ME DOMINATOR/DOMINATRIX!"

I continue to talk about SG Soundwave from my silly AU.

Last time I mentioned the hell twins. I think you all know who they are, right?

I would like to make ALL of Soundwave's cassettes his children/pets, but I decided to focus only on the main four of Laserbeak, Ravang, as well as Rumble and Frenzy.

A little bit about Laserbeak and Ravang in this AU:

Laserbeak and Ravang have the same story of how they ended up in this crazy family. Soundwave found them, Soundwave took them. That's it. Now they're with him. They're completely satisfied with that.

And both of them also like to participate with Soundwave in his aerobics TV show. Laserbeak constantly sits on him when Soundwave is doing balance exercises. Ravang prefers to do stretching by following Wave.

They both also appeared much earlier than Rumble and Frenzy, when he first started doing aerobics and hosting his TV show.

A bit about Rumble and Frenzy:

They both appeared after the peak of his career, closer to the time when he was ready to retire.

The twins are damn uncontrollable and disrespectful to literally everyone, which is completely natural for them, let's be honest.

Combine the last two facts and you get two gremlins who completely disrespect their father, because what kind of idiot would do aerobics??? Yeah, they think it's stupid and their dad is a loser.

They actually love him, but they're annoyed that Soundwave would rather drag his decrepit joints around to dance to stupid music for another sports show than spend time with them. It's just hurtful.

I think I'll write about Shockwave in this AU next time, because he deserves a mention.

It's me again, haha.

I've already laughed at the fact that Soundwave looks like an aerobics instructor from an 80s-style workout. But I said that I've already come up with an AU with this thing, so here are some fun things from it:

Soundwave originally wanted to host a music show, but there was only an option to host a dance program. Naturally, this hyperactive and young con agreed. To be honest, he missed the moment when dancing turned into aerobics. However, he enjoyed it and became hooked.

He really enjoyed it, so he spends as much time and energy as possible on this shit. That's why his joints are in terrible condition, and he's basically killed them (That's how I'm going to describe his canonical joint problems, lol).

Currently, Soundwave is technically retired and should not engage in strenuous physical activity due to his health. But... He does. Seriously, man, calm down, or you'll collapse like a house of cards.

Soundwave was quite popular in its time and was even recognized on the street. But time has passed and now once in an eternity someone will suddenly exclaim, "It's you, the guy from that TV show!" while he's standing in a store trying to prevent the twins from destroying the shelves.

I think that's all. I have a lot of funny thoughts, but most of them are just flashes that are difficult to explain. I'm going to try to structure it in my head at least.

If you liked these stupid things, then write about it or write questions if you have any. It would be cool, lol.

Hah, okay, I'm a little surprised because I honestly didn't remember what it was about until I scrolled through my old posts.

But I remembered.