Hereâs a Beetlejuice Beetlejuice fanfic/chatfic and headcannons I wrote because I was bored and the ghost characters need more recognition (minor spoilers for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice)
BEETLEJUICE CHATFIC AND CHARACTER HEADCANNONS
BeetleJuice BeetleJuice character headcannons! (Also donât mind all the super smash bros headcannons, I was watching Blake jennings âwhat your main in smash says about youâ while I made these):
Wolf Jackson the movie star:
⌠Has MAJOR former theatre kid vibes, like he totally had a Hamilton phase and watched Cats ATLEAST once just to make fun of it, but he ended up secretly kinda liking the songs from it.
⌠Wont admit to even HAVING a favourite superhero, but itâs totally Spider Noir
⌠Says he mains someone like Snake in smash, but he actually mains Isabelle, jigglepuff, or The duck hunt dog and he somehow wins EVERY TIME HE PLAYS SMASH because heâs good at spam pressing buttons.
⌠Good at claw machines for some reason. A strange hidden talent, but he probs brags about it every chance he gets (which isnât often but still)
⌠Everyone thinks/assumes heâs straight and probs bangin his secretary/the girl who brings him coffee (idk if sheâs actually his secretary) but then heâll casually insert âmy boyfriendâ or âthis guy Iâm seeingâ into a conversation and the whole room is shocked.
⌠Knuckle cracker.
⌠When heâs sad infront of other people he hides his emotions and says heâs fine, but when heâs sad at home alone, he curls up with a bunch of blankets and binge watches all the movies he stared in when he was alive. Only his secretary(?) knows this.
⌠Drinks coffee (obviously) but also likes iced teas. Can on rare occasions be seen wandering around with an Arizona Tea can in hand.
⌠Ocean from RTC vibes. Like he doesnât really mean to be rude, but he also has a habit of thinking heâs better than most people around him.
⌠That same way that I walk into any store and when I wanna get something I tell myself âI can make that at home.â He watches ANY action movie (especially ones with cgi or heavy effects) and says/thinks âI couldâve done that MYSELF, WITHOUT special affects.â
Bob:
⌠Chronically tired
⌠Under-appreciated-employee-core. Wherever he works in the neitherworld would not FUNCTION without him, but no one who works with him would recognize this until he put in his two weeks notice.
⌠A pushover. I hate to say it, but this man DIED (double died ig?) for a ghost who didnât deserve that amount of loyalty and Bob probably knows it. He knew Beetlejuice wasnât worth sacrificing that much for but he did it anyways because he is a pushover.
⌠My general headcannon for all the âtiny headâ people in the Beetlejuice franchise is that they can speak telepathically to people, but most either choose not to, or donât know that they can do it. Bob chooses not to because whenever he does (on rare occasions) it freaks out everyone whoâs ever known him and he finds it hilarious.
⌠Current theatre kid. Has all of Heathers memorized. Could sing most RTC songs and says âthis is all your fault Jafarâ and âyoure FUCKIN useless Paulâ in his head or under his breath EVERY DAY.
⌠Once played Smash with Wolf Jackson and absolutely HATED the fact that Wolf won every time without really trying. But also Bob mains wii fit trainer, toon link or Kirby because I said so.
⌠Coffee drinker, but also gives off âDO NOT FILL UP A âSUPER BIG GULPâ CUP WITH 5-HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG THE WHOLE THINGâ vibes. He is WIRED.
Harry the hunter:
⌠Bobs uncle who died at around the same age as Bob so thatâs why they look the same age/look like the same person.
⌠BESTIES with Ms Argentina
⌠Likes Delores because he hates Beetlejuice and wishes she successfully killed him, but also dislikes her because she killed Bob
⌠Bob is chronically tired but gets a good nights sleep most nights. Harry is an insomniac night owl who stays up until 1:00 in the morning rewatching Over the garden wall or Wall E for the 1000th time even though he KNOWS has to get up at 5:00am that morning.
⌠Only drinks tea or water.
⌠Mostly uses ASL or writing on notepads to communicate (same with Bob)
⌠Bob is the type of employee to work more than he should and do extra stuff and overtime etc. because he thinks people will like him more or atleast heâll get some benefit from it right? Harry is the employee who knows you should just do your job and leave because no one will care if you do more than that so donât waste your time.
⌠Just like Bob, he is a theatre kid. And he totally got Ms Argentina into musicals too.
âŚ
Ms Argentina:
⌠a HARDCORE SIMP for Delores. Like âshe could suck my soul out of my body and in my last moments Iâd THANK HERâ kinda simp (same tho)
⌠WILL THROW HER HEELS AT YOU IF YOU PISS HER OFF (Bob, Wolf Jackson, Beetlejuice, AND EVEN Delores ALL learned this the hard way.)
⌠Mains Daisy in smash because they both have Loud-Lesbian energy
⌠Her nickname is Tina and her real name is Valentina, but ONLY Harry and Delores can call her Tina or her real full first name.
⌠SOMEHOW managed to get Delores to go on a date with her, and now theyâre dating. Beetlejuice still has no idea how Tina pulled that off.
⌠Tina gives me tea or coffee drinker vibes, but part of me thinks she sometimes puts vodka in her tea and/or coffee
⌠Because Harry got her to like musicals, she totally got her girlfriend into musicals too
Iâll probably make a chatfic based on the musical and cartoon, but this one is based on the movies
Astrid has created a groupchat
Astrid has added: Lydia Deetz, Richard Deetz, Charles Deetz, and Delia Deetz
Astrid has named the groupchat âđthe Deetz familyđâ
Astrid: hi! For those who are bad with tech *cough cough, grandpa* this is a groupchat, âgcâ for short. Itâs like texting but with multiple people in one text conversation.
Charles Deetz: Thanks kiddo, I was confused!
Richard Deetz: hey! This seems fun!
Lydia Deetz: OMG RICHARD?!
Richard Deetz: Hello Lyds!
Delia Deetz: omg Richard! Hi!
Charles Deetz: hello!
Richard Deetz: hi everyone!
~in a different groupchat~
âWork onlyâ groupchat
Richard: my daughter just added me to a family groupchat đĽ°
Bob: nice.
Argentina: omg fun!! My family is still alive.
Bob: So is his, Argentina?
Argentina: oh. OH. How the hell does that work?
Richard: Iâve learned not to question things like that a looooooooooooooooooooong time ago.
Argentina: thatâs fair.
Wolf: my family has been hiding from me đ
Harry: why?
Wolf: because ~~đłď¸âđ~~
Harry: ah. SERIOUSLY?
Wolf: yeah. They only found out last thanksgiving tho. I was at my Mothers house (she is dead, to clarify) and I mentioned I was seeing a guy, and they DID NOT LIKE THAT LET ME TELL YA
Harry: OMFG XD RELATABLE
Harry: Bob is the only family member of mine I know who will talk to me
Bob: to be fair, only about half of our family is actually DEAD?
Harry: yeah. But if Astrid can add her dad to a family gc then donât you think they might just not be *trying*?
Bob: thatâs fair.
Richard: ANYWAYS, I was thinking maybe I should make a gc with you guys AND my family in it so you guys can be introduced to each other!
Argentina: sure!
Wolf: okay.
Bob: đ
Harry: đ
Richard: yay! Okay brb
Richard Deetz has made a groupchat
Richard Deetz had added: Astrid Deetz, Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz, Delia Deetz, Ms Argentina, Wolf Jackson, Bob, and Harry
Richard Deetz has named the groupchat âfriends and familyâ
Harry: I love how apparently me and Bob are just âHarryâ and âBobâ and everyone else has some form of last name XD
Bob: omg yeah, I didnât even notice that! Rude.
Richard: well to be fair, you never told me your last name(s?)
Harry: and I still wonât. Itâs still funny tho
Richard: đ alr
Astrid: Dad?! Who are these people?
Richard: my coworkers! Thought Iâd introduce you guys
Harry: just âcoworkersâ? Ouch Rich
Richard: oh hush đ
Harry: đ¤ k
Astrid: cooooool. Hey.
Bob: hey.
Astrid: OMG @Delia @Lydia @Charles, I forgot to mention I auditioned for my school musical lmao
Lydia: WHAT! And you didnât tell me? Thats awesome!
Delia: Omg wow!!! Youâll be amazing!
Charles: nice kiddo!
Harry: OMG WHAT MUSICAL IS IT?
Astrid: HAHAHAHA I was NOT expecting that reaction from @Harry
Argentina: he looks very intimidating irl but heâs the biggest FREAKIN NERD YOULL EVER MEET I PROMISE-
Harry: RUDE! But Fr- what musical?
Astrid: Heathers.
Harry: AT A HIGHSCHOOL? Damn
Astrid: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT! But I auditioned anyways for fun.
Harry: so did the cast list come out yet?
Astrid: yeah! Iâm gonna be Veronica!!!!!!!
Harry: OMG AWESOME!! I would love to play JD, but I died before even the MOVIE was made, so Iâll never get the chance sadly.
Astrid: DAMN, thatâs tough.
Argentina: WOMP WOMP
Astrid: HHAHAHAHAHAHHA WOMP WOMP
Harry: >:O
Lydia: You got a part!!! Thatâs amazing! Whenâs opening night???
Richard: yeah! You might not see me in the audience, but Iâll be there!!!
Astrid: itâs in October but rehearsal hasnât even started yet, Iâll let you know when I know!
Delia: let me know too!
Harry: no offence Delia, but have you SEEN Heathers?? I feel like if ghosts can be unconscious, it would send you into a COMA. With Dead Girl Walking ALONE
Astrid: DEAD GIRL WALKING? Sheâd be out before Big Fun ends XD
Harry: fair point!
Charles: I know that what you two are typing is technically words, but I understand NONE OF THEM
Harry: thatâs also fair XD Poor Charles
Wolf Jackson: I know what the words mean! And your right, Delia would be sent into a coma by that show. Movie OR musical
Argentina: one word: Blue.
Wolf: OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT THAT SONG
Harry: âFORGOTâ? I PURPOSEFULLY BLOCK THAT SONG OUT OF MY MEMORY MAN
Richard: oh god what have I started with creating this gc
Lydia: clearly this is a Pandoraâs box of chaos youâve created and opened, Rich
Richard: yeahâŚâŚ.whoopsâŚ
~hours later~
Astrid: weird question but raise a digital hand if your đłď¸âđ (no pressure to answer I just want info for a project)
Harry: me!!
Bob: does bi count?
Astrid: yes it does
Bob: cool
Wolf: *slowly raises hand*
Astrid: FR? No offence but I would NOT have guessed that
Wolf: no one ever does đ¤Ť
Argentina: OO OO OO ME!!!
Argentina: wait- can I add my girlfriend to the gc?
Astrid: YESS DO IT
Argentina: okay!!!
Argentina added Delores to the groupchat
Wolf: WAIT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS DELORES??? THE SOULSUCKER?!
Argentina: yeahhhh đĽ°đĽ°đĽ°đĽ°đĽ°
Delores: helloâŚ? Whatâs this?
Astrid: a groupchat!
Delores: Iâm not sure what that is, but alright?
Bob: âŚâŚâŚ. Argentina why would you do this to me.
Argentina: OMFG I FORGOT BOB IM SO SORRY
Astrid: wait what? What happened? And whatâs a âsoulsuckerâ?
Delores: basically a ghost that can kill other ghosts. And thatâs what I am
Astrid: but wouldnât that not work because theyâre already DEAD?
Delores: nope.
Bob: Astrid, you learn not to question stuff like this after a while of being dead or knowing someone in the neitherworld. Nothing makes sense here. (Also Delores almost killed me)
Argentina: yet another reason to NOT KILL YOURSELF đ
Astrid: noted! Wasnât planning on it, but good motivation! đđ
Wolf: god you people are insane.
Delia: agreed.
Lydia: you both say âyou peopleâ like you arenât a part of this family/friend group. Bad news: YOU ARE PART OF THE âYOU PEOPLEâ
Delores: I think Iâll like you people a lot.
Lydia: you tried to kill đŞ˛đ§ so I definitely like you girl.
Delores: đĽ°omg you you want his moldy ass double dead too?!
Lydia: he tried to marry me AT 16 YEARS OLD so yeah definitely
Delores: Iâm from an era where thats pretty normal, but Iâm gonna assume thatâs not normal and bad in the future??
Lydia: yeah itâs bad and gross. Also the year is currently 2024 btw
Delores: thank you! Damn I was in those boxes for a long time wasnât I?
Argentina: yes you were
Wolf: and you were TECHNICALLY supposed to STAY THERE
Delores: my girlfriend has advised me to reply to that with âwomp wompâ? Iâm not sure what that mean but I hope it has its intended affect.
Bob: WOLF JUST KICKED HIS TRASHCAN SO HARD IT MADE A DENT IN THE WALL HOLY SHIT
Bob: update: I have just read the previous texts. Yes Delores it DID have its intended affect! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Delores: oh good!!! đ
Wolf: NO! NOT GOOD. I donât like you! Mean lesbian!!!!
Astrid: âMEAN LESBIANâ OMG đ
Richard: what is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?
Richard: omg I jus read the last few texts, that is pretty funny Wolf
Lydia: đŽ đ¤ yeah Iâm with Rich on this one, thatâs pretty funny honestly
Wolf: I hate you all /ns
















