#phantom rants

BEETLEJUICE CHATFIC AND CHARACTER HEADCANNONS

BeetleJuice BeetleJuice character headcannons! (Also don’t mind all the super smash bros headcannons, I was watching Blake jennings “what your main in smash says about you” while I made these):

Wolf Jackson the movie star:

◦ Has MAJOR former theatre kid vibes, like he totally had a Hamilton phase and watched Cats ATLEAST once just to make fun of it, but he ended up secretly kinda liking the songs from it.

◦ Wont admit to even HAVING a favourite superhero, but it’s totally Spider Noir

◦ Says he mains someone like Snake in smash, but he actually mains Isabelle, jigglepuff, or The duck hunt dog and he somehow wins EVERY TIME HE PLAYS SMASH because he’s good at spam pressing buttons.

◦ Good at claw machines for some reason. A strange hidden talent, but he probs brags about it every chance he gets (which isn’t often but still)

◦ Everyone thinks/assumes he’s straight and probs bangin his secretary/the girl who brings him coffee (idk if she’s actually his secretary) but then he’ll casually insert “my boyfriend” or “this guy I’m seeing” into a conversation and the whole room is shocked.

◦ Knuckle cracker.

◦ When he’s sad infront of other people he hides his emotions and says he’s fine, but when he’s sad at home alone, he curls up with a bunch of blankets and binge watches all the movies he stared in when he was alive. Only his secretary(?) knows this.

◦ Drinks coffee (obviously) but also likes iced teas. Can on rare occasions be seen wandering around with an Arizona Tea can in hand.

◦ Ocean from RTC vibes. Like he doesn’t really mean to be rude, but he also has a habit of thinking he’s better than most people around him.

◦ That same way that I walk into any store and when I wanna get something I tell myself “I can make that at home.” He watches ANY action movie (especially ones with cgi or heavy effects) and says/thinks “I could’ve done that MYSELF, WITHOUT special affects.”

Bob:

◦ Chronically tired

◦ Under-appreciated-employee-core. Wherever he works in the neitherworld would not FUNCTION without him, but no one who works with him would recognize this until he put in his two weeks notice.

◦ A pushover. I hate to say it, but this man DIED (double died ig?) for a ghost who didn’t deserve that amount of loyalty and Bob probably knows it. He knew Beetlejuice wasn’t worth sacrificing that much for but he did it anyways because he is a pushover.

◦ My general headcannon for all the “tiny head” people in the Beetlejuice franchise is that they can speak telepathically to people, but most either choose not to, or don’t know that they can do it. Bob chooses not to because whenever he does (on rare occasions) it freaks out everyone who’s ever known him and he finds it hilarious.

◦ Current theatre kid. Has all of Heathers memorized. Could sing most RTC songs and says “this is all your fault Jafar” and “youre FUCKIN useless Paul” in his head or under his breath EVERY DAY.

◦ Once played Smash with Wolf Jackson and absolutely HATED the fact that Wolf won every time without really trying. But also Bob mains wii fit trainer, toon link or Kirby because I said so.

◦ Coffee drinker, but also gives off “DO NOT FILL UP A “SUPER BIG GULP” CUP WITH 5-HOUR ENERGY AND CHUG THE WHOLE THING” vibes. He is WIRED.

Harry the hunter:

◦ Bobs uncle who died at around the same age as Bob so that’s why they look the same age/look like the same person.

◦ BESTIES with Ms Argentina

◦ Likes Delores because he hates Beetlejuice and wishes she successfully killed him, but also dislikes her because she killed Bob

◦ Bob is chronically tired but gets a good nights sleep most nights. Harry is an insomniac night owl who stays up until 1:00 in the morning rewatching Over the garden wall or Wall E for the 1000th time even though he KNOWS has to get up at 5:00am that morning.

◦ Only drinks tea or water.

◦ Mostly uses ASL or writing on notepads to communicate (same with Bob)

◦ Bob is the type of employee to work more than he should and do extra stuff and overtime etc. because he thinks people will like him more or atleast he’ll get some benefit from it right? Harry is the employee who knows you should just do your job and leave because no one will care if you do more than that so don’t waste your time.

◦ Just like Bob, he is a theatre kid. And he totally got Ms Argentina into musicals too.

◦

Ms Argentina:

◦ a HARDCORE SIMP for Delores. Like “she could suck my soul out of my body and in my last moments I’d THANK HER” kinda simp (same tho)

◦ WILL THROW HER HEELS AT YOU IF YOU PISS HER OFF (Bob, Wolf Jackson, Beetlejuice, AND EVEN Delores ALL learned this the hard way.)

◦ Mains Daisy in smash because they both have Loud-Lesbian energy

◦ Her nickname is Tina and her real name is Valentina, but ONLY Harry and Delores can call her Tina or her real full first name.

◦ SOMEHOW managed to get Delores to go on a date with her, and now they’re dating. Beetlejuice still has no idea how Tina pulled that off.

◦ Tina gives me tea or coffee drinker vibes, but part of me thinks she sometimes puts vodka in her tea and/or coffee

◦ Because Harry got her to like musicals, she totally got her girlfriend into musicals too

I’ll probably make a chatfic based on the musical and cartoon, but this one is based on the movies

Astrid has created a groupchat

Astrid has added: Lydia Deetz, Richard Deetz, Charles Deetz, and Delia Deetz

Astrid has named the groupchat “💜the Deetz family💜”

Astrid: hi! For those who are bad with tech *cough cough, grandpa* this is a groupchat, “gc” for short. It’s like texting but with multiple people in one text conversation.

Charles Deetz: Thanks kiddo, I was confused!

Richard Deetz: hey! This seems fun!

Lydia Deetz: OMG RICHARD?!

Richard Deetz: Hello Lyds!

Delia Deetz: omg Richard! Hi!

Charles Deetz: hello!

Richard Deetz: hi everyone!

~in a different groupchat~

“Work only” groupchat

Richard: my daughter just added me to a family groupchat 🥰

Bob: nice.

Argentina: omg fun!! My family is still alive.

Bob: So is his, Argentina?

Argentina: oh. OH. How the hell does that work?

Richard: I’ve learned not to question things like that a looooooooooooooooooooong time ago.

Argentina: that’s fair.

Wolf: my family has been hiding from me 😅

Harry: why?

Wolf: because ~~🏳️‍🌈~~

Harry: ah. SERIOUSLY?

Wolf: yeah. They only found out last thanksgiving tho. I was at my Mothers house (she is dead, to clarify) and I mentioned I was seeing a guy, and they DID NOT LIKE THAT LET ME TELL YA

Harry: OMFG XD RELATABLE

Harry: Bob is the only family member of mine I know who will talk to me

Bob: to be fair, only about half of our family is actually DEAD?

Harry: yeah. But if Astrid can add her dad to a family gc then don’t you think they might just not be *trying*?

Bob: that’s fair.

Richard: ANYWAYS, I was thinking maybe I should make a gc with you guys AND my family in it so you guys can be introduced to each other!

Argentina: sure!

Wolf: okay.

Bob: 👍

Harry: 👍

Richard: yay! Okay brb

Richard Deetz has made a groupchat

Richard Deetz had added: Astrid Deetz, Lydia Deetz, Charles Deetz, Delia Deetz, Ms Argentina, Wolf Jackson, Bob, and Harry

Richard Deetz has named the groupchat “friends and family”

Harry: I love how apparently me and Bob are just “Harry” and “Bob” and everyone else has some form of last name XD

Bob: omg yeah, I didn’t even notice that! Rude.

Richard: well to be fair, you never told me your last name(s?)

Harry: and I still won’t. It’s still funny tho

Richard: 🙄 alr

Astrid: Dad?! Who are these people?

Richard: my coworkers! Thought I’d introduce you guys

Harry: just “coworkers”? Ouch Rich

Richard: oh hush 😑

Harry: 🤭 k

Astrid: cooooool. Hey.

Bob: hey.

Astrid: OMG @Delia @Lydia @Charles, I forgot to mention I auditioned for my school musical lmao

Lydia: WHAT! And you didn’t tell me? Thats awesome!

Delia: Omg wow!!! You’ll be amazing!

Charles: nice kiddo!

Harry: OMG WHAT MUSICAL IS IT?

Astrid: HAHAHAHA I was NOT expecting that reaction from @Harry

Argentina: he looks very intimidating irl but he’s the biggest FREAKIN NERD YOULL EVER MEET I PROMISE-

Harry: RUDE! But Fr- what musical?

Astrid: Heathers.

Harry: AT A HIGHSCHOOL? Damn

Astrid: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT! But I auditioned anyways for fun.

Harry: so did the cast list come out yet?

Astrid: yeah! I’m gonna be Veronica!!!!!!!

Harry: OMG AWESOME!! I would love to play JD, but I died before even the MOVIE was made, so I’ll never get the chance sadly.

Astrid: DAMN, that’s tough.

Argentina: WOMP WOMP

Astrid: HHAHAHAHAHAHHA WOMP WOMP

Harry: >:O

Lydia: You got a part!!! That’s amazing! When’s opening night???

Richard: yeah! You might not see me in the audience, but I’ll be there!!!

Astrid: it’s in October but rehearsal hasn’t even started yet, I’ll let you know when I know!

Delia: let me know too!

Harry: no offence Delia, but have you SEEN Heathers?? I feel like if ghosts can be unconscious, it would send you into a COMA. With Dead Girl Walking ALONE

Astrid: DEAD GIRL WALKING? She’d be out before Big Fun ends XD

Harry: fair point!

Charles: I know that what you two are typing is technically words, but I understand NONE OF THEM

Harry: that’s also fair XD Poor Charles

Wolf Jackson: I know what the words mean! And your right, Delia would be sent into a coma by that show. Movie OR musical

Argentina: one word: Blue.

Wolf: OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT THAT SONG

Harry: “FORGOT”? I PURPOSEFULLY BLOCK THAT SONG OUT OF MY MEMORY MAN

Richard: oh god what have I started with creating this gc

Lydia: clearly this is a Pandora’s box of chaos you’ve created and opened, Rich

Richard: yeah…….whoops…

~hours later~

Astrid: weird question but raise a digital hand if your 🏳️‍🌈 (no pressure to answer I just want info for a project)

Harry: me!!

Bob: does bi count?

Astrid: yes it does

Bob: cool

Wolf: *slowly raises hand*

Astrid: FR? No offence but I would NOT have guessed that

Wolf: no one ever does 🤫

Argentina: OO OO OO ME!!!

Argentina: wait- can I add my girlfriend to the gc?

Astrid: YESS DO IT

Argentina: okay!!!

Argentina added Delores to the groupchat

Wolf: WAIT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS DELORES??? THE SOULSUCKER?!

Argentina: yeahhhh 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Delores: hello…? What’s this?

Astrid: a groupchat!

Delores: I’m not sure what that is, but alright?

Bob: ………. Argentina why would you do this to me.

Argentina: OMFG I FORGOT BOB IM SO SORRY

Astrid: wait what? What happened? And what’s a “soulsucker”?

Delores: basically a ghost that can kill other ghosts. And that’s what I am

Astrid: but wouldn’t that not work because they’re already DEAD?

Delores: nope.

Bob: Astrid, you learn not to question stuff like this after a while of being dead or knowing someone in the neitherworld. Nothing makes sense here. (Also Delores almost killed me)

Argentina: yet another reason to NOT KILL YOURSELF 😃

Astrid: noted! Wasn’t planning on it, but good motivation! 😃😃

Wolf: god you people are insane.

Delia: agreed.

Lydia: you both say “you people” like you aren’t a part of this family/friend group. Bad news: YOU ARE PART OF THE “YOU PEOPLE”

Delores: I think I’ll like you people a lot.

Lydia: you tried to kill 🪲🧃 so I definitely like you girl.

Delores: 🥰omg you you want his moldy ass double dead too?!

Lydia: he tried to marry me AT 16 YEARS OLD so yeah definitely

Delores: I’m from an era where thats pretty normal, but I’m gonna assume that’s not normal and bad in the future??

Lydia: yeah it’s bad and gross. Also the year is currently 2024 btw

Delores: thank you! Damn I was in those boxes for a long time wasn’t I?

Argentina: yes you were

Wolf: and you were TECHNICALLY supposed to STAY THERE

Delores: my girlfriend has advised me to reply to that with “womp womp”? I’m not sure what that mean but I hope it has its intended affect.

Bob: WOLF JUST KICKED HIS TRASHCAN SO HARD IT MADE A DENT IN THE WALL HOLY SHIT

Bob: update: I have just read the previous texts. Yes Delores it DID have its intended affect! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Delores: oh good!!! 😀

Wolf: NO! NOT GOOD. I don’t like you! Mean lesbian!!!!

Astrid: “MEAN LESBIAN” OMG 😆

Richard: what is HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

Richard: omg I jus read the last few texts, that is pretty funny Wolf

Lydia: 😮 🤭 yeah I’m with Rich on this one, that’s pretty funny honestly

Gosh I work so hard into making my oc some costumes and yet there are less likes, what am I missing…

I will forever be mad that the success of the musical will forever overshadow the concept of the book. It angers me that I can’t talk about the Phantom of The Opera without others immediately defaulting to the musical.

I don’t know. I just think there’s so much that can be done with the Phantom of The Opera story that just… isn’t. It’s similar to how I view Frankenstein. There are a lot of themes in Phantom of The Opera that could easily be adapted to a modern day audience. Themes that modern day audiences could relate too. And they just aren’t used, because the musical so vastly overshadows it.

I am excited to see a fresh adaptation that takes place in New Orleans. But there is still so much that could be explored? I would love to see an animated Phantom of the Opera. I would love to see more Phantom work that doesn’t reference the musical. I would love to see just a serious adaptation of the book that isn’t the 2004 movie.

Omg Okay!!!!

By the way- I have a huge list of fanfics on my tablet already, where, when I read a good fic, I copy-paste the link in a note on my notesapp, and I add descriptions to the fanfic to help me remember which is which. So all I had to do for this was gather up all of the Lego movie fics on there, and put them here! (If anyone wants fic recommendations from a different fandom, just ask, and if I have fics about that fandom, I’ll GLADLY share!)

I think just copy-paste the links into whatever search engine you use, and (hopefully) they’ll work! 💜🤞🏾

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54471712/chapters/137994778 a Lego movie good cop bad cop fic where they make friends with the masterbuilders (especially a certain blue spaceman)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50555752/chapters/127712488 another gcbc fic about their day-to-day stuff ig (very cute!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52320787/chapters/132356653 a very weird very good gcbc Lego movie fic that has Venom (marvel) vibes (unfinished, I think)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43394259/chapters/109085490 a Lego movie chat fic that made me laugh so hard I choked, HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS ONE

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47864848/chapters/120671509 a really really really good coppernaughts (bad cop/ good cop x Benny the spaceman) fic (Lego movie)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56551666 a very bittersweet Lego movie fic about Finn, and growing up

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38830809 a Lego movie 2 fic where general mayhem meets god (she meets Finn’s sister)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18029462 a LEGO Movie 2 fic about general mayhem and Balthazar the vampire!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17502986/chapters/41228459 an adorable Lucy x Emmet fic!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42778479 mermaids au tlm gcbc x Benny fic!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30546039?view_adult=true Lego movie fic gcbc scene re-write

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36466327/chapters/90930955 Lego movie characters react to movie fic! (Unfinished, sadly)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51886477/chapters/131195230 LEGO Movie fic (gcbc (technically a fix-it fic))

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55598758/chapters/141114871 a REALLY GOOD gcbc fix it fic where scribble cop is a character! (Angst warning, but worth it)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3337625/chapters/7299125 a very sweet good cop bad cop Lego movie fanfic (human au) where poor good cop has some nerve damage after being “in a coma” (fluffy tho)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23847673/chapters/57395902#workskin a Lego movie fic about Rex, that I’ve only read the first chapter of, and I don’t fully understand what it’s about, but it’s good :) (I probably just need to watch tlm2 again)

Can you tell who my favourite characters are? Just kidding they’re all my favourite fr tho