#personal pos

Watching the sun filter in through my window, another hot and sweaty summer day seems to loom before me. The alarm clock says 10.30 am, and there's a part of my inside that kicks me, a light berating for being lazy and unproductive. 

As if I've wasted half of my day.

The demon on my shoulder whispers that it doesn't matter, I don't do anything during the day anyway. The angel on the other shoulder weeps and begs me to at least brush my teeth this morning. I can indulge them both.

My reflection in the bathroom mirror greets me as soon as I quietly pad into the cool, tiled room, trying my best not to wake my boyfriend. My face looks tired and crumpled from being smooshed into a pillow, there are bags under my eyes nearly big enough for the weekly shopping, and my hair is sticking up in strange places around my hairline. The air smells slightly sour from the kitty litter that should have been cleaned out a day ago, and there's really no reason that it wasn't done. It’s the first thing to go onto my mental to-do list.

After brushing my teeth and hair, I plod downstairs, and straight to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. The angel is sitting on top of the microwave, telling me that a glass of water is much better first thing. I flick her away and stick my favourite mug into the microwave, leaning against the counter while I wait, and looking at the world outside the kitchen window. Another disgustingly hot and sunny day, in a quiet beach town on the Spanish coast. 

The demon grins at me, as I cast aside ideas of drinking my coffee outside in the fresh air, and helps me to balance my phone as I get my hot mug out of the microwave, stirring in an obscene amount of instant coffee and cheap white sugar. 

The cool living room, with the shutters still drawn somehow seems like a better option than the garden, and catching up on last night's episode of Love Island first thing in the morning feels like I'll enjoy it more than drinking my coffee outside in silence. 

Before I know it, it's 2pm. I only moved once from the comfy seat in the living room, to go back upstairs and get my little, wooden smoking box. The thick smoke from the joint entwined in my fingers curls up around my head, and the demon laughs appreciatively at the halo it momentarily gives me. 

in short, i kept getting shot by this one mccree. a d.va kept spamming the heal button. i switched my mic on and said “i am a slow ass robot with the speed of a turtle on speed dial. if you are dying, find a health pack. if y’all need heals, i’ve got my transcendence ready so get in a group.”

anonymously send me somethin u like about me n stuff

I’ve been debating on whether or not to write this and then struggled on whether or not to actually post this, but I think this needs to be said and I would appreciate if you would take the time to read this.

I am all for helping people out to get Taylor’s attention, and reblogging your posts about your costumes and seat locations, but the messages that I get asking to reblog your posts is overwhelming, since 90% of the messages I receive aren’t for me, but just a message to reblog something for Taylor’s attention. And to top that off a majority of these messages come from people who don’t follow me and and only send me a message because I have a Taylor follow.

Please don’t misunderstand me and think that I‘m only posting this in order to gain more followers because that is not the case - I am blown away by the number of followers I have and I love all of you. That said, it has become extremely frustrating to receive messages only to open them and see that it’s yet another one asking for a reblog and getting the same copy and pasted message from the same user is truly getting out of hand.

All that I’m asking for is that we get to know each other, instead of sending the exact message to people with Taylor follows(or not) take some time and view their blog, reblog some of their own stuff and I can guarantee you that they’ll have no problem in reblogging yours. We’ve become such an entitled and selfish fandom and I think it’s time that we help each other out, instead of worrying about ourselves all the time.

Also, what I’ve learned about Taylor and her noticing you, is that it truly comes when you least expect it and not trying extremely hard for her attention. 

This will probably get no notes, and I’m actually okay with that.