Heaven Is A Place, This Is A Place
a Han Solo character study
And yet, despite being so painfully aware of his rotten fate, Han still allowed himself, from time to time, to dream that one day he won’t have to run away anymore. In the deepest, loneliest corners of his mind, he wished that one day he could wake up like this every morning: careless, lazily and not worried about whether he’d make it to the night or not. He fantasised about times in which he could wake up in the late afternoon, caressed by the warm sun waltzing on his cheeks and sleep past midnight after a whole day of strolling as many places as his feet could get him through, of meeting men of many faces, laughing, drawing aces and betting on whatever scraps he could find in his pockets. (. . .)
Despite the cruel reality he was chained in and knowing he’ll never make it out of this miserable life alive, he still dreamed of such golden days. And he despised his rotten mind for giving him hope and losing itself in the clouds of fantasy when he needed it the most.
Because it was stupid, in vain and it was puerile and despondent. And because nothing changes. So why waste his tears on a life he’ll never know anyway? Why furrow his handsome brow and weep his heart out for days he’ll never live enough to see, if they were to come in the first place? Why dare hope when he fully knew he’d regret it later? Nothing changes.
— extract from Chapter Seven: Someone Who Cares
Heaven Is A Place, This Is A Place available now to read on AO3!
