#parentingfail

literally sobbing rn and listening to my batman soundtracks on repeat because guess what? dad just EXPLODED at me over a single bowl i forgot to clean up. one. bowl. and now i'm losing even MORE phone time because apparently i "don't spend enough time with the family."

like???? maybe there's a REASON i don't want to be around them? ever think of that?

they don't get that i NEED my space, my music, my little escape from everything. and they just keep taking and taking. first it was "family dinners" and now it's my phone and last month they literally took my DOOR away for a week. my DOOR. do you know what it's like trying to sleep without a door? feeling exposed and anxious every single night?

i break down over the tiniest things these days because i'm just waiting for the next explosion, the next privilege they'll take away. walking on eggshells in my own home and i'm so tired.

that's why i finally did it today. applied to a mental health facility. yes, an actual mental hospital because somehow that feels safer than here. at least there people might actually listen instead of just screaming and punishing.

i know it sounds extreme but i just can't do this anymore. one forgotten bowl and suddenly i'm the worst child ever? make it make sense.

sometimes i wonder if they even see me as a person with feelings or just some kind of robot that's supposed to be perfect all the time.