#pan-buck

Maddie really meant to say that I procrastinate like a rockstar! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Not Quite Lost (Not Quite Found) by alocalband | 25K | Explicit

A year after the nogitsune is defeated, Derek is living a quiet life in the mountains above a small town in Colorado.

Then Stiles shows up.

Gracious In Defeat by yodasyoyo | 18.1K | Mature

Stiles needs to get away from Beacon Hills after the end of his senior year. Derek offers to let him stay with him in São Paulo, and they finally act on the tension that has always simmered between them.

The thing is, when it's time to go home- Stiles doesn't want to leave.

Pretty Melody by thepsychicclam | 30.5K | Explicit

Stiles hasn't seen Derek in six years, so when he shows up at the bar where Stiles works, claiming to be some indie rock star, Stiles can't believe it. Stiles has even more trouble believing that he and Derek are about to have a one night stand.

Soon one night turns into two and three, and seeing Derek causes old wounds to open for Stiles. As Stiles reconnects with Derek, he finds himself painting things he's been avoiding, and he thinks maybe he'll finally start to heal.

That's New by alisvolatpropiis | 2.4K | Mature

Stiles missed out on seeing Derek's transformation, so a few days after Mexico, he goes to see for himself.

The Only Thing by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 4.2K 

Derek had said, “You can come if you want. Live here. With me. You can come, Stiles.”

Saying no had been the hardest thing Stiles had ever done. Because he wanted out. He wanted out so bad, and to have an offer, to have the guy he’d not-so-secretly been crushing on for years be the one to give it to him, had been almost more than he could handle. His fingers had typed out the ‘yes’ and he’d sat there for close to an hour, just staring. Because he wanted it so badly. To run, to escape, to leave all this behind him.

But he eventually erased the word and wrote, “Thanks Derek. Maybe some time, but not now.”

And that had been that. Derek never brought it up again.

And neither did Stiles.

A sudden simple twist of fate by heydoeydoey | 14.5K

Stiles still has Derek's number saved in his phone, and he tells himself he's going to delete it, but he doesn't. Instead, he sends Derek a text. Okay, four texts.

Smoke is Just the Air Remembering Fire by alisvolatpropiis | 8.4K | Explicit

Derek has cried three times in his adult life: when his sister died, when the alpha pack used him to kill Boyd, and when Stiles Stilinski broke his heart.

In My Veins by thepsychicclam | 7.4K

Derek drove away from Beacon Hills once before.

Sense of Home by siny | 53K | Explicit

Home can be a place, but it can also be a person.

After the events with the Nemeton, Stiles starts suffering the consequences of their sacrifice. A journey he attempts to make on his own, but only becomes worse with every step he takes. In the process he seeks comfort in an unexpected place and it draws him toward an unexpected person.

Good Intentions by yodasyoyo | 6.4K

In which Stiles thought he fake wolf-married Derek twenty-six years previously. Turns out it wasn't as fake as he thought.

lodestone by llassah | 5.4K 

We could…we could be something, couldn’t we?” Stiles murmurs, eyes slipping shut. Derek looks at the IV line in his arm, the bandages covering his chest, his leg. His hand, pale against the hospital sheets, palm up. Derek waits until he’s sure Stiles is asleep before he responds.

It takes Stiles eight years to ask the question again. It's okay. Derek can wait.

The Start of Our Forever by Cobrilee | 20.5K | Explicit

Stiles is ready to get out of Beacon Hills and start his new life, free of the supernatural. A random discovery in an antique store in Denver proves you can never leave it all behind... and encourages him to find it again. What ensues is four and a half years of pining, self-discovery, personal growth, a whole hell of a lot of love, and a realization that nightmares can still become fairy tales (happily-ever-afters included).

How We Got Here by Areiton | 9.7K | Explicit

I’m combining these two!

1. Eddie thinks he has the most spectacularly bad luck in the history of the universe; he has a girlfriend for two months, sleeps with her a handful of times, and gets her pregnant. In his junior year of high school. Shannon doesn’t tell him until she can’t hide it anymore, and by the time Christopher is born, her parents have already bought a house halfway across the country and are pushing them to give the baby up for adoption. Eddie wonders if he’s making the biggest mistake in the world, but it sits wrong with him to hand his child over to someone he doesn't know, so he sucks it up and tells his parents. A judge awards him sole custody ten days after Chris is born; five days later, Shannon is gone. 

2. Buck sticks to himself in high school. He’s popular enough; he plays every sport he can just to have a reason to stay out of his house, a reason to be around people who want him around, but he doesn’t really get close to anybody. He’s heading into his sophomore year when he hears about how Eddie Diaz knocked a girl from another school up and after listening to people gossip for three days while he’s forced to wipe up soda spills and tolerate middle aged women rubbing his arm, he finds himself on Eddie’s block. They know each other--everyone knows each other, they’ve been going to the same schools since birth--and both he and Eddie are on the track team, although they’ve only and a few conversations. Still, he feels the urge to check in, because he doubts anyone else is. Eddie’s mom shuts the door in his face for his trouble.

3. Having an infant is hard. It’s harder when you’re a 17 year old fuck up, and even more difficult when your parents don't think you can do anything right and are constantly on you to sign your parental rights over to them. Eddie ends up moving in with Abuela three weeks before his senior year starts, which causes the biggest fight they've had yet and rather than wait for his sister to get back with his car, Eddie grabs the backpack he’s been using as a diaper bag, takes Chris, and leaves the house. They end up at the little cafe half a mile from the high school, and Eddie walks in the door because he has nowhere else to go. When Buck cocks his head and says, “you doing okay, man?”, Eddie almost cries. He hasn’t been asked how he was since he found out Shannon was pregnant.

4. Buck brings him a sandwich and an iced tea and shifts back and forth before asking if he could please hold the baby. He spends the next two hours gently bouncing Chris up and down, smiling at him, until he falls asleep, and rather than give him back to Eddie he eases him into the crook of his arm. Buck loves kids, and he’s always been good with babies in particular; Maddie did a lot of babysitting when he was younger and she’d bring him with more often than not.

5. Eddie and Buck spend more and more time together, usually at Abuela’s, playing with Chris on the carpet or taking him out on walks in the evening after they’ve gotten their homework done. Buck breaks his wrist in early September and, rather than spend his whole time on the bench watching the football team, quits. All the hours he’d spent practicing are now spent with Eddie, trying to make a now five month old Chris laugh. When Buck skips the winter formal because Chris has a fever and Eddie hasn’t slept in nearly 24 hours, Eddie hands the sleeping baby over, watches Buck get settled on the couch, then leans over and kisses him gently.

6. Eddie’s a Mexican-American kid raised in a Catholic family in Texas. With a seven month old. Once the high of being able to kiss Buck wears off, the shame and doubt starts to set in. When he tells Buck, “maybe we shouldn’t do this,” Buck looks at him and says, “Why? You can’t get me pregnant.”

7. Eddie signs up for the Army on his 18th birthday. He doesn’t tell his family. He doesn’t tell Buck. He knows what the reactions will be, but he’s a teenage father who has very little options available to him, and he knows he has to do what’s best for his kid. He puts in to be a medic, figuring that will transfer easily to a job after he puts his four years in.

8. Chris lives with Eddie’s parents when he leaves. Despite Eddie asking them to please let Buck see Chris once or twice a week, they never open the door or answer the phone. He doesn’t see Chris for nearly a month; not until Abuela walks into the cafe with Chris on her hip. Chris reaches out for him immediately, and Buck absolutely does not burst into tears. Abuela tells him that she misses him as well, and lets it slip that she watches Chris on Tuesdays and Thursdays until dinner. It doesn’t give him a lot of time to work with, but he if goes straight there from school he usually has three hours to spend with Chris. 

9. Eddie’s been stationed in San Antonio for almost a year now, and Buck is heading into his senior year. Buck writes Eddie a letter every week--they both have cell phones and they talk every night, but he likes the feel of pouring his feelings out onto paper. Eddie only writes back one time; post-marked the day he had told Buck that he was being deployed. The only thing the letter says is “I love you”. It’s the first time he’s said it. 

10. They don't talk a lot while Eddie is deployed. Buck keeps writing letters and he gets them back sporadically; sometimes three or four will come all at once after two months of not hearing from Eddie. But when he does get them, it’s pages worth. Eddie writes about what it’s like in Afghanistan, writes about all the different people in his unit and where they’re from, what they’re like, writes about times he remembers with Buck. But Buck’s favorite is when Eddie writes about what their life will be like when he’s out: that after spending so much time in the desert, they’ll live by the ocean. They’ll spend days running around after Chris, weekends driving around and exploring, they’ll have jobs they love, and they’ll never, ever be apart.

11. Chris gets his CP diagnosis three months before Eddie’s supposed to come home. Buck doesn’t hear from him until the day Eddie shows up on his porch, crying.

12. They go to the courthouse the day after Buck graduates high school to get married. Eddie signs up for his second tour three days later. He doesn’t tell Buck before.

@theladyandthewolves 

So, if that prompt list was an invitation to send you some, here's my wish... [Suddenly feels around the bed to search for the other’s hand / body when they’re sleeping] (like always feel free to ignore if it doesn't spark inspiration)

@bisexualbuck

ohh "Stay" + buddie pretty please??

Did I turn these three prompts into one thing? Yes, I did.

Did I turn three FLUFFY prompts into a kinda angsty love confession? Yes, I did.

I hope you enjoy anyway :)

Link to AO3

Buck starts sleeping in Eddie’s bed when their movie nights become a regular. A more than twice a week regular, let’s spend every second together kind of regular. 

This is the new normal for them. They fall asleep back to back and sometimes during the night, they search each other to establish one point of contact. One place that reassures them they are there, together, each other anchors. Buck likes to rest his feet against Eddies’ calves. Eddie likes to hold Buck’s hand.

And some nights they roll over and end up curled up together. 

But that’s all there is. Nothing more. 

They’ve shared a kiss, but they were interrupted and the opportunity of taking it forward had vanished in seconds. That was a month ago. Maybe even more. Buck refuses to wallow because now, now Buck’s scared to ask for more and he finds himself settling for anything that Eddie might want to give to him. 

Tonight the sheets feel cold on the other side of the bed and it looks like Eddie is most definitely not sleeping beside him. There’s a string of light filtering through the door as Buck blinks awake. He’s on his side and he pats around the bed with his foot. 

Buck rolls to his back and stretches his arm, patting the bed with his palm now. When he realizes Eddie’s really not there, he let out a groan.

It’s 4 am and Buck has a feeling that Eddie never came to bed. He sits up and balances his feet to the floor.

The light that’s filtering through the door comes from the living room and Buck takes a few steps thinking that probably Eddie’s fallen asleep on the couch. Before Buck’d decided to go to bed a few hours ago, Eddie’d been still trying to rearrange the mess that Buck and Chris had made trying to organize some pictures for a school project.

“Hey, you weren't in bed.” Buck walks up to him and resting one hand on the back of the couch, he leans forward and runs his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “I came looking for you.”

“I’m sorry. I-” Eddie looks upset with red-rimmed eyes. Scattered around him there are at least thirty photos and letters. Buck notices he’s holding on to his St. Christopher’s medal and he walks around the couch, standing between Eddies’ legs. 

Buck touches Eddie’s cheek gingerly and gives him a soft smile. “Do you need me to leave? It’s okay if you do.” 

“No, please, don’t. I was just-” Eddie starts picking up each photo and putting them in a box. Buck hesitates for a moment but then Eddie reaches out for Buck’s hand and tugs. "Please, please, stay." 

“Okay.” Buck doesn’t question him, he sits down beside him and picks up a photo. As he looks at it, he begins to understand why Eddie’s feeling so down. It’s a picture of Chris and Shannon, Buck thinks it’s probably from before Eddie returned after his second tour. Shannon’s face is pale and her mouth is coercing a smile so little and forced that Buck feels his heart break for her. Chris is looking at the camera with his trademarked bright smile.

“I’m so sorry, Buck.”

“You don’t have to be, Eddie, really, I understand.”

“I’m trying so hard. I want to do what’s best for him. For us. I guess I just got lost in the memories.”

“Eds, we don’t have to do this. I know what this-” Buck gestures between them “-is. It’s ok.”

“What? You don’t- no, Buck, you don’t understand. I loved her. I really loved her. We didn’t marry just because we had to. We were in love. And then everything went wrong. Every single thing that could go wrong, did. And somewhere along the line, we lost each other. She was angry and I was broken and Christopher needed us and we were just a fucking mess.”

Buck puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and squeezes. “I know.”

“This is coming out all wrong. Fuck.”

“Eddie…”

“Fuck. No. Listen to me. You know why after tonight I ended up looking at this?”

“I want to say yes, but I’m guessing that’s not the answer you’re looking for.”

“What? No, you don’t know because I never said anything. So, no, you don’t know.”

“Ok, so tell me.”

“I think I feel guilty. I think I feel guilty because she’s dead and I’m-” Eddie hesitates.

“Not?” Buck raises an eyebrow at him, but Eddie’s not looking. He’s still gripping at this one picture and Buck is scared. He’s terrified of what’s to come, because he feels this moment is when they are going to make or break their relationship. He’s going to fight tooth and nails to keep this family they built together, but Eddie is stubborn and if he’s not on the same page, it could all end catastrophically.

“Life was so unfair to her. I was unfair. And now I have this thing, this new life full of possibilities and I’m not taking advantage of it because I’m ridden with guilt. Because she’s dead and I-” Eddie closes the box with the letters and the pictures inside and looks at Buck, “-I have you.”

Buck shifts on the couch, trying to control his brain from jumping to conclusions. Eddie said what he said, yes. But he needs confirmation that what Eddie is saying means what Buck wants him to mean. He sighs and opens his mouth to talk but Eddie’s rambling again.

“It’s not that she’s dead and I’m not. The problem is that she’s dead and I’m in love. With someone that isn’t her. So, my problem, which is not a problem at all and I’m just making a problem from something that isn’t there, is us.”

“You and me, us?”

“Yes.”

Buck can see Eddie’s looking smaller by the minute. He’s curled up on himself, sinking deeper and deeper into the couch. Buck turns his whole body toward him and beams at him. “So you’re in love with me?”

“Yes.”

“You know that’s not a problem, right?” Buck grabs Eddie’s knee and starts gently rubbing circles on it with his thumb.

“Yes, that’s what I said, but-”

“No, Eddie, no buts. You already said it. You have me. In any capacity, however you need and whenever you want.” His toes touch Eddies’ and that gets him to look at Buck again. “I’m in love with you too.”

“Yes.”

“And I’m going to be here for us. For you and for Chris. This is my family. Our family. But I understand that you’re not ready, Eds. I get it. It’s a lot. So we take it day by day and we’ll see how it goes, okay? No pressure.”

Shit, it hurt. It hurt more than he expected. He’d been crushed by a ladder truck, and yet that small knife cute was putting him in so much pain. But the rational side of him just kept on reminding him he’d survive that. Just had to bandage it, and he’d be good to go.

So Buck did that, making sure his sleeve was rolled down enough so no one would ask about what happened. It was a foolproof plan, really.

Except he hadn’t expected to work hard enough for it to bleed. And worse even, to bleed through the bandage.

Buck hadn’t realized some blood was sliding down his forearm until Eddie frowned. And when he finally did, he tried to wipe it away, but he knew the other man had seen.

“Are you okay?” Eddie said as he leaned forward. They were still in the truck, on their way back to the firehouse, and Buck could feel Bobby turn his head to glance in their direction.

“‘Course I am.” Buck waved it off, hoping he wouldn’t push it. And he didn’t.

At least not until they got back to the firehouse, and Eddie pulled him aside without a warning. And he didn’t say a word as he rolled up Buck’s sleeve, frown increasing when he saw the blood-soaked bandage. 

“It’s nothing.” Buck insisted, trying to pry his arm away, but his friend’s grip only tightened.

“What happened?” Eddie asked, not even looking up to meet Buck’s gaze. Instead, his fingers moved to the bandage, slowly unwrapping it.

By this point, Buck knew it was futile to try and get Eddie to move past it, so he sighed. “Just cut myself doing the dishes. I’m fine.” Except he wasn’t, and they both knew it.

The serious frown on Eddie’s face didn’t leave as he inspected the cut. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?” And the way he looked up at Buck meant: I’m getting a few things, don’t move.

So Buck didn’t move. Well, he did, but only to sit on a bench. 

His eyes followed Eddie as he came back, neither of them saying anything as the older man started to clean the wound. What else was there to say? 

“How did that even happen, Buck? While doing the dishes?” Eddie finally spoke, a tiny hint of exasperation in his voice. Still, he stayed focused on the task at hand.

“I don’t know, it slipped.” Buck shrugged, giving a small wince as he felt a sharp pain around the wounded area.

“Don’t move.” Eddie said with a small sigh. and he refrained from saying anything else in Spanish, because whatever he was going to say, he wanted Buck to understand it. “Clutz.” He said, the joke falling flat. And before Buck could say anything, he opened his mouth again. “You gotta be more careful, alright?”

Buck stared at Eddie for a moment, before he suddenly couldn’t feel the other’s fingers on his arm. And a quick glance confirmed him Eddie had pulled his hands away, now that the wound was neatly bandaged and cleaned. 

“Thanks.” Buck let out, rolling his sleeve down to cover up the bandage, except he wasn’t fast enough.

Eddie had already moved, working his way until both of Buck’s sleeves were completely unrolled. “Just... be careful, okay?” He added as he stood up.

“Yeah, I-” will. Except the last word didn’t come out. Instead, he was frozen in place as he felt Eddie’s lips pressed against his temple. And he certainly wasn’t the only one that was surprised; Eddie seemingly startled by his own action. 

They stayed like that for a brief moment until Eddie finally straightened up. Opened his mouth to say something, but waved it off, hurriedly turning to head back to the others.

And Buck wasn’t sure, but he could swear he saw a slight hint of red on the other’s cheeks. And that thought brought some heat to his own face. He took a moment to compose himself until he finally joined the others.