#oversocialization

powerlessness, defeatism, guilt, etc. One of the most important means

by which our society socializes children is by making them feel

ashamed of behavior or speech that is contrary to society's

expectations. If this is overdone, or if a particular child is

especially susceptible to such feelings, he ends by feeling ashamed of

HIMSELF. Moreover the thought and the behavior of the oversocialized

person are more restricted by society's expectations than are those of

the lightly socialized person. The majority of people engage in a

significant amount of naughty behavior. They lie, they commit petty

thefts, they break traffic laws, they goof off at work, they hate

someone, they say spiteful things or they use some underhanded trick

to get ahead of the other guy. The oversocialized person cannot do

these things, or if he does do them he generates in himself a sense of

shame and self-hatred. The oversocialized person cannot even

experience, without guilt, thoughts or feelings that are contrary to

the accepted morality; he cannot think "unclean" thoughts. And

socialization is not just a matter of morality; we are socialized to

confirm to many norms of behavior that do not fall under the heading

of morality. Thus the oversocialized person is kept on a psychological

leash and spends his life running on rails that society has laid down

for him. In many oversocialized people this results in a sense of

constraint and powerlessness that can be a severe hardship. We suggest

that oversocialization is among the more serious cruelties that human