#ostentation

By: Jim Underdown

Published: Jan 11, 2023

Ask the Atheist

Is it true the late pope was buried in multiple caskets?

R. Tarsi,

Egg Harbor, WI

No one who’s ever been to – or even seen pictures of – the Vatican should be shocked that former Pope, Benedict XVI, was buried in three (that’s right three) different coffins. St. Peter’s Basilica, with its gold accoutrements, bronze columns and doors, and priceless art is the very definition of excess, so why chintz on the pope’s funeral? Vows of poverty be damned!

[ Inside St. Peter’s ]

Jesus (had he ever lived) would have been appalled at the garishness of it all, I’m sure.

When I first heard about the triple coffins, I was incredulous. What? They’re going to chop this guy up and spread him around?! Holey moley! What kind of messed up ancient ritual is this? Are they punishing the guy for resigning before the Grim Reaper could get him? Is he finally going to get his just due for being in the Hitler Youth in the 1940s?

[ List of popes in St. Peter’s ]

I grew up Catholic for a bit and have heard plenty of their wacky ideas over the years – transubstantiation, limbo, the trinity, to name a few – but hacking a guy up seemed extreme even for the Catholic Church. They must be splitting the body up to send it on tour to raise money was one of my early thoughts.

Then I read that the coffins would be nested inside each other like those Russian Matryoshka dolls – which is a bit less gruesome but still excessive. Ok, that does make more sense… than dismemberment.

Here’s how it went.

The first box was made of cypress and, along with the pope’s body, contained bags of gold, silver, and copper coins. The cypress symbolizes humility – you know, of the guy who’s being buried in 3 caskets as a part of a multi-million dollar funeral.

I’m not making this up.

The second box was made of lead and had a skull and crossbones carved into. Ok, that’s actually kind of cool. But lead? The guy who carved the decorations into the lead will no doubt soon follow the pope to the pearly gates… or at least have some cognitive issues. I’d bet Superman sleeps in a similar sarcophagus – probably with his “S” logo on it instead of the skull and crossbones.

The third box was made of elm which evidently represents dignity, and housed the other two caskets. To reinforce the humility theme from box #1, the elm coffin was sealed with gold nails, which any carpenter – even Jesus – would tell you won’t do jack to hold it shut. Gold has terrible tensile, compressive, and yield strengths compared to a common steel nail. Not to mention they’re expensive as hell…

Each of the coffins was sealed with wax and wrapped with silk ropes. Surely the wax will keep grave robbers from all those coins. Again… tensile strength people! Are there no engineers on the Vatican payroll?

If they actually told us about the 3-casket extravaganza, what are they not telling us?

I wonder…

Was he buried in three pairs of underwear under his robes – one Jockey™, one Mormon, and one Orthodox Jewish – just hedge his bets to get into heaven? Those ought to help him get through the pearly gates, though St. Peter will ask him about the Hitler Youth thing. And God is very detail-oriented, you know.

Did each of his hands have 3 pinky rings on it – all perhaps donated by guilt-ridden Mafiosi over the years?

How many of the 135 Swiss Guards will it take to carry that heavy-ass triple load down to the catacombs?

I also wonder if the money bags made it all the way to the tomb. I sorta hope one of the workers palmed the coins before that casket got sealed up. Seems like a waste to bury perfectly good money with a guy dressed in silk and ruby slippers.

==

Sufyan al-Thawri said, "On account of one sin I have been deprived of night prayer for five months."

He was asked, "What is that sin?"

He said, "I saw a man weeping and I said he is doing that for show."

— Imam Al-Ghazali (may Allah be pleased with him), Ihya Ulum al-Din

#lmamAlGhazali

Good question!

The important thing to keep in mind is that a big part of how monarchs, especially those in the Early Modern period in the process of building nation-states, got people to buy into their ideas of absolutist monarchies, the Divine Right of Kings, etc. was through displays of personal magnificence.

This portrait is a great example, because the personal magnificence being displayed is of two kinds: you have the gold and jewels and the incredibly rich flowing fabrics, the Turkish carpet that Henry’s standing on (which more parsimonious people would drape over a table or hang on the wall rather than let it be trodden on), and the cloth-of-gold curtains, but you also have the emphasis on Henry’s huge shoulders, his waist which has been made to look more trim than it was at this point, and his shapely calf muscles (which Henry loved showing off). 

INDIAN BLUE PEACOCK Pavo cristatus ©Laura Quick

1. Only the males are actually “peacocks.”

The collective term for these birds is “peafowl.” The males are “peacocks” and the females are “peahens.” The babies are called “peachicks.”

2. A family of peafowl is called a “bevy.”

A group of the birds is also sometimes called an “ostentation,” a "muster,” or even a “party.”

3. They’re not born with their fancy tail feathers.

The male peachicks don’t start growing their showy trains until about age three.

4. They don’t have to be killed for their feathers.

Luckily, the peacocks shed their train every year after mating season. The average lifespan of a peacock in the wild is about 20 years.

5. They can fly, despite their massive trains.

A peacock’s tail feathers can reach up to 6′ long and make up about 60% of its body length. Despite these odd proportions, the bird flies just fine.

6. There are all-white peafowl.

It’s common for captive peafowl to buck the iridescent trend for all white feathers. This is called leucism, and it’s due to a genetic mutation that causes loss of pigmentation. These peafowl are often mistaken for being albino, but instead of having red eyes, animals with leucism retain their normal eye color.

7. Peacocks were a delicacy in medieval times.

The birds were plucked, roasted and then re-dressed in their feathers to appear in their original live state on the dinner table. Source

Other posts you might like:

Peacocks fighting for territory

Peacock regrowing a train after shedding

Gran Gentleman