#cleverly

             “ You know, Vegeta. I never really got the chance to ask you on Namek for...well...obvious reasons, but your plan was to wish for immortality, right? ” The hybrid shifted from foot to foot, mulling over which combination of words and phrasing would land him in the least trouble. 

cleverly asked:

hi! been following for a year or so and i’m so grateful for this blog. you’ve helped me and others out a ton. i find that when i write, my first draft is very dialogue-heavy. when i go back and edit it’s mostly to fill in the spaces between spoken word, but i always feel like i don’t have enough detail for others to see what i see. what are some ways i can improve on adding more detail? i’ve been practicing by journaling/freewriting, but this style doesn’t really find its way into my WIP. thx!

secretkeeper007 asked:

Hello! I’m writing a novel and I feel like I have a lot of dialogue. Is that okay? (It’s in 1st person POV).

Wow, a lot of synchronicity here! 

Nothing makes me close a page of fanfic faster than Wall O’Dialogue. And it’s not just fanfic: I have actually photocopied pages from a professionally edited and published book so that I could go through and write down (it was a library book) who was talking. 

Thank you all for realizing it’s an issue and looking to deal with it. 

Relentless dialogue is just as frustrating to your readers as an unparagraphed wall of text or reams of irrelevant infodump. 

tl;dr: You don’t have to kill your darlings. You do, however, have to stuff a sock in them sometimes. 

Dialogue should be like any other part of your story – essential to plot and characterization. 

If you’re writing a story in novel format, you don’t want it dominated by dialogue. That’s called a screenplay. But you’re writing a narrative; you’re struggling with things like plot and point of view. Too much dialogue can mean too little action.

Then again, your characters reveal themselves to the reader through conversation. And you might just need to slow the action down for a minute, so you have them talk. How do you sort it all out? 

Ask yourself: Is it necessary? 

Your first task: Make sure your dialogue is advancing the story or revealing character. If it’s not necessary, cut it out. Save the file … it might be useful later, but remove it from your working draft. 

Next: Break up the dialogue you still need if you haven’t already. Your four main tools for breaking up (necessary) dialogue are:

1. dialogue tags: he said, she asked, they replied. Be specific, use the character’s name if you have to, try to avoid fancy words like “he articulated.” 

2. action beats: “I’m not going,” he said, dropping the book on the floor; or 

                        Xander tossed the book on the bed. “I’m not going.”

3. inner monologue: “I don’t care what you think,” Tamsyn said. 

                             Juno was tired of her bullshit. She knew T cared. Juno was tired of her own anger. This was no way to have a relationship. But T wasn’t in a place to listen, and Juno had no other way to explain it.

                            “OK, if that’s how you feel, I’ve got nothing else,” Juno said as she turned to leave. 

Inner monologue is an excellent device for replacing dialogue that you cut out. Instead of having your characters go back and forth, put the reactions into the inner, real-time thoughts and reactions of your POV character. Sometimes, what your character does NOT say out loud is far more revealing and interesting.

 4. actual action: Nothing wrong with interrupting your blathering lovelies with plot- or character-revealing action. Someone bursts into the room with news … something is happening on the TV news that’s relevant … one of your characters gets a phone call or text that is disturbing, etc… 

Underwriting/Under-describing

Another reason we resort to too much dialogue is that we are covering for a lack of description, also known as underwriting. We don’t want to insult our readers by being obvious, because part of the fun of reading is connecting the dots. It’s up to you, the writer, to make sure there are just enough dots. 

Don’t jump to conclusions without presenting the evidence first. Nobody changes their life simply because of one conversation – although one conversation can spark a series of interim changes that will have life-altering and story-altering effects.  

Maybe you need to do more research on the setting. Maybe you need to interview your characters to find out more about them – do a questionnaire or other character building exercises. 

Ask your beta readers what they think is lacking. Remember, your first draft is going to need work, so don’t get too bogged down trying to make everything perfect on the first pass. 

You can find more help here. An author shares her struggles with description here. 

More resources

There are additional tips in these articles here and here. 

If you want to learn good dialogue, read good dialogue, as recommended here and here.

[News] James Cleverly will return to the Conservative frontbench as Kemi Badenoch reshuffles her shadow cabinet on Tuesday. A Conservative source said the former leadership contender who served as home secretary would have a “prominent role” in the reshuffled team. The shadow health secretary, Edward Argar, is expected to step down from his role due to personal issues. “The leader of the…

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