#onedirectionfeels

            “Allie?”

            Damnit.

            “Yea?”

            “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?” “You just seem kind of out of it?”

            “Its just something Zayn said. Its no big deal.”

            “You know, you can tell me anything?”

            I nodded, “Its nothing really. I’m probably over reacting.”

            He looked at me expectantly. I shook my head, refusing to tell him. That was a mistake. He pouted out his lip, pleading with his eyes. I sighed, “Fine. All Zayn said was, ‘you know you love us, some a lot more then others.’ It’s not really that big of a deal.”

            Niall stood there unsure of what to say. My eyes widened, “You didn’t?”

            “No, of course not! I’m just a little surprised is all.”

            “Oh”

             Then came the awkward the silence. We stood there looking at the jellyfish, not saying a word.

            “Allie, I-“

            “Niall! Allie! There you are.” Harry said, cutting Niall off. He ran up to us. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you guys. It’s time to go.”

            I nodded and went with Harry back to the main entrance, while Niall followed closely behind. We met up with the others and drove back to the hotel. The ride was silent and uneventful, just the way I like it. We pulled up around the back and filed out of the car. I kept a safe distance from Zayn just in case. I didn’t want to take any chances of that comment turning down a road I didn’t want to go down. We walked into the lobby heading towards the lift. They all filed in, but there wasn’t enough room for all of us.

            “I’ll just wait for the next one.” I said.

            “Are you sure?” Louis asked.

            “Yea”

Louis nodded. Yes!

“I’ll wait with her.” Zayn said.

No! No! No!

Before I could protest, Zayn had already stepped out of the lift and the doors closed.

            “You really didn’t have to do that. I would have been fine.” I told him.

He shrugged. Oh now he wants to be quiet. The next elevator came quickly and we got in. Between the silence and my brain freaking out, the ride felt like forever. The lift finally stopped its torturous ascent and opened the gates to freedom. I walked normally, trying not to show any sign that I was avoiding Zayn. I made it to my room quickly, and went to open the door. I was about to step in when Zayn spoke, “Hey Allie we need to talk.”

I turned to look at him.

“About what?” I nervously asked.

“About what I said.”

“Oh that.”

I quickly stepped inside my room and shut the door on him. I leaned against the doorframe, hyperventilating. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. But it is. Shut up brain! I want to go back to where I only liked Harry as a friend. Well hate to break it to you but you can’t. Shut up! This is just great. I’m going crazy. I mean I’m arguing with myself, for Pete’s sake. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. It’s going to be just fine. I won’t open the door, he can never get in and I’ll just avoid him. Problem solved. My confidence in my plan was quickly dashed when I realized a key problem in my plan. I was on tour with him. It would be nearly impossible for me to avoid him 24/7.  A knock on my door interrupted my melt down.

“Allie?” Liam called out.

“Yes?” I answered.

“Can you help me with something?”

“Sure Li. What is it?”

“Let me in and I’ll show you?”

I opened the door, expecting just Liam, but the day wasn’t going the way I’d thought because Zayn was standing right next to him. I tried to quickly close the door in their face, but Liam stopped me. I struggled with him, but Liam, being stronger then me, won, opening the door wide enough for both he and Zayn to step through. I crossed my arms, and let out a sigh as they closed the door behind them and situated themselves on my bed.

“So Allie…” Zayn began.

“What?” I snapped.

“There’s no need to be rude.” Liam huffed.

“Well excuse me for not being polite, but you lied to me!”

“I didn’t lie. I needed your help with something?”

“Oh yeah and what was that?!”

“Getting Zayn into your room.”

I glared at them, “ You both walk in here like you own the place and expect me to spill my guts to you! And how the hell did you even find out I’m in love with Harry?!”

“Harry?” Zayn asked.  Liam nudged him in the stomach. “Oh right Harry.”

“It was kind of obvious.” Liam said, silencing Zayn.

“It was that obvious?” I asked, worry filling my features.

Liam’s eyes widened in realization, “Oh no I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I only saw it cause I’m observant like that.” Zayn interjected.

I sighed in relief.  Then there was silence.

“So umm how long?” Liam asked.

“Last year.”

“And he’s dating your sister.” Zayn said.

“Have you ever tried to tell him, how you feel?” Liam asked.

“I tried the day I found out Harry and Jess were dating?”

“That’s why you were so upset.” Zayn realized.

“And then he kept standing you up.” Liam said, a slight anger to his voice

“Yep welcome to my life.”

I started to tear up.

“Oh Allie.” Liam got up and pulled me into a hug. I started sobbing into his chest.

“I just thought things were going to be okay. I thought I could live with them being together. I thought I could do it if I still had him in some way. I thought I was important to him. But I was wrong, so wrong.” I sobbed.

            Liam started to rub my back, “Allie you are important to him. Trust us. It’s you he always talks about.”

            I looked up at Liam and weakly smiled, “Thanks but I know that’s not true. He’s already proven how important I am to him.”

I pulled out of Liam arms, to see Zayn standing right next to me. They looked at me with sadness and pity. Pity how I hated that. It just fueled my thoughts on how pathetic I really was. I looked away unable to take anymore.

            “Allie look at us.”  Zayn said.

            I refused, staring intently at the wall as the tears streamed down my face. Zayn grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. He wiped the tears off my face before he spoke, “He messed up. He tried to make it up to you but messed up again. He’s still trying to make it up to you. He cares about you Allie. You’re not pathetic for being in love with him. It’s only pathetic if you don’t do something about it. Because trying to move on isn’t working for you and no matter what Harry says, I don’t think he’s truly happy with her. Allie do something, I’m begging you.”

            “I can’t she’s my sister.”

            He sighed, “It will suck, but she’ll get over it.”

            “Have you met my sister?”

They chuckled.

            “Yeah, you have a point.” Liam said.

            Zayn let go of my face, “I’m not saying do anything now, but make up your mind because there are others who can care for you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

And with that they left, leaving me to think about what they’d said.

********************************************************************

Louis’ P.O.V

            I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. To say I was bored was an understatement. Suddenly a knock sounded on my door. Something to do! I jumped off of my bed and quickly opened the door, letting Liam and Zayn in.

            “What are you guys doing here?” I asked.

            “We need to talk.” Liam said. Something about the tone of his voice made me think that I wasn’t going to like this.

            “Okay, what’s up?”

            “We know that you’re in love with Allie.” Zayn said.

            “What?! No, that’s crazy.” I lied.

            “Don’t try to deny it. We’ve seen the way you look at her.” Liam said.

            “Fine. I’m in love with her. But she’s in love with Harry and there’s nothing I can do about it.” I widened my eyes in shock. How could I out Allie like that? I’m a horrible friend. Maybe she is better off with Harry.

            “We know”

            “What?!”

            “She just told us everything. I went to go confront her about loving you or Niall.” Zayn replied

            “What do you mean Niall?” I asked, slightly angry and jealous.

            “Nothing.” Zayn said, realizing his mistake.

            “No tell me, I can handle it.”

            “We think Niall’s in love with her.”

            “Oh”

            I was jealous but most importantly, I was worried. Niall has been there for her when I couldn’t. Maybe she did fall for him. No I couldn’t think like that.

            “Louis, you need to tell her how you feel.”

            “It’s not that simple. It could ruin everything. You don’t know Allie like I do. She’d feel guilty, that she made me feel exactly the same way Harry had made her feel.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Harry told her when she was going to tell him.”

            “We already know that.”

            “Well she called it the worst day of her life, and she couldn’t understand how anyone could do that. Do you know how much it would kill her to know that she did that to someone? Ripped their heart out like it was nothing?”

            “That might be the case, but you need to tell her before someone else does.”

            I sighed, “You might be right, but she’ll break this time and there will be no one for her to go to. She’ll leave us, she’ll leave me.”

            They both stared at me, unsure of what to say. Then Niall came into the room.

**************************************************************************

Zayn’s P.O.V

            I didn’t know what to say. I thought it had been so simple this morning. I was going to get Niall or Louis to admit their feelings for Allie and Allie to admit hers for them, and she’d be happy with one of them. But then she had to go and throw that curve ball. Everything Harry has done, was put into a whole new light now because of this. I felt bad for her and I was mad at Harry, especially at how she had found out. Allie needed to be loved and if Louis wasn’t going to admit it then it would be Niall. Liam spoke a few comforting words to him, while I took Niall out into the hallway. I felt bad for him and Niall, they both must know how Allie feels, and to hear that the one you love loves someone else, sucks. We headed away from everyone’s rooms. I looked around, making sure no one would be listening in, before I spoke, “Allie huh?”

            The Irish lad blushed, looking down at the ground

            “Yea” He mumbled.

            “Niall, tell her.”

            “I can’t, not yet.”

            “Why not?”           

            “I haven’t felt this way about a girl in a long time and I need to make sure she’s completely over Harry. I don’t want to be anyone’s rebound, especially not her. I want her to love me like I love her.”

            “Aww Niall, who knew you could be so romantic?”

            “Ah shut it.” He said, shoving me away.

            “I get it Niall. She told Liam and I everything.”

            He seemed a little taken aback, “She told you everything just like that?”

            “Well we kind of forced it out of her, but yeah.”

            “So everyone knows except Harry and Jess.”

            “Yup”

            Niall stood there silent for a while, deep in thought.

            “You know what Zayn? You’re right. I’m going to tell her how I feel. I can’t wait around forever; I might lose her. Thanks for the talk.” He said patting my shoulder. He walked back towards his room and went in. Liam came out shortly after and headed towards me.

            “So I convinced Louis to tell Allie.” Liam said.

            “Shit, I just did the same with Niall.” I said.

            We looked at each other in shock.

            “We just made it worse didn’t we?” Liam asked.

“Using emotions is not really the Cybermen’s M.O. And the Daleks wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble.”

“Why?”

“They think themselves to be the superior life forms. They would have just tried to exterminate you all.”

“They sound awful.”

His expression darkened, turning more somber, “Awful doesn’t even cover it. I hope you never meet one.”

We continued in silence. After a while I couldn’t take it anymore, “Still no clue?”

He turned to me, “What makes you think that in the two minutes you asked me that I would have some idea?”

I shrugged. “Your clever.”

He smiled, “Yes I am, but that’s not the point.”

“Your right. The point is that it feels like its been hours when it’s only been two minutes! I can feel it I’m going mad!”

He looked at me with wide eyes, “Okay I think someone has had too much excitement for one day.”

“You think?” I said sarcastically. “I’ve been holding in the feels for far too long. Just give me a minute.”

I took a deep breath and let out a scream. I started jumping up and down letting out all of my pent up excitement. “OMG! I meet One Direction. OMG! They shook my hand.”

The Doctor looked at me as if I had grown another head. “You do realize they were clones right?”

“I don’t care it was close enough.” I took a couple of deep breaths, calming myself down. “There all better.”

“What was that?”

“That my dear Doctor is fangirling.”

“Oh great. Just wait until you see the real thing. Are you going to explode?”

I shook my head, “I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to scare them away, now would I? They would never come with us if I did.”

He still kept eyeing me strangely, “Are you sure whatever is effecting the others isn’t effecting you?”

“I’m sure. I’m fine now. I just had to let it all out and then I’m good.” He still looked at me unsure. “I’m fine. If I wasn’t I would still be going wouldn’t I?”

“You have a point.”

“Do you have any idea about what is making them go crazy?”

“I have an idea.”

I looked at him expectantly. He didn’t speak, just kept fiddling with the controls. I cleared my throat trying to get his attention. His head turned to me asking, “What?”

“Well?”

“Oh right. Well I believe that they might be using a device.”

“Well duh.”

“I wasn’t finished.”

“It sounded like you were.”

“Well I wasn’t. Now be quiet.”

I closed my mouth and waited for him to continue.

“Okay as I was saying, I believe that they are using some kind of device. A device that could amplify the emotions of anyone they want.”

“An emotion amplifier? Can they really do that?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a bathroom?”

“Down the hall third door on the right.” He pointed to one of the openings to his left. I left the control room and headed into the direction that he was pointing. His directions rang true and I quickly found the bathroom. I went in and did my business. I looked at myself in the mirror. It wasn’t a pretty sight. My hair was a mess and my makeup was smeared. I took out my ponytail, and ran my fingers through my hair, attempting to tame it. I then remade my ponytail. I splashed some water on my face, scrubbing away the makeup. When I finally presentable, I left the bathroom. As I was walking back, something on one of the doors caught my eye. I stopped and backtracked, stopping in front of the door. The door was a dark wood, with a gold handle. What had caught my eye however wasn’t the door itself, but the gold writing on the door. In gold block letters was the word, Ponds. There was something immensely beautiful about the simple gold letters. I traced my fingers over the letters. Suddenly, images flashed through my mind of a woman with flaming red hair and a man with dark brown hair. Stupid face. The images kept coming, filling my brain. Come along Pond. I tried to make sense of what I was seeing but it was too much. I put my hands to my head, in some vain effort to stop it. The Last Centurion. Words spoken and lives lost, as they flashed faster into my mind. Finally it stopped, leaving me gasping for air. What the hell was that? Then I remembered Zayn’s words as they decided whom to kill. I wanted to know who they were and what happened to that man and woman. I took a shaky breath. What’s happening to me? I was scared out of my mind. I couldn’t tell the Doctor what I had seen when I wasn’t even sure what myself. I wanted to leave and go back to my normal life. Aliens and clones, that I could handle, but when it came to something changing in me, I wasn’t too sure I wanted to find out what was going on. When I had thought that I had finally given up on this mission, there was the little voice in the back of my head urging me to keep going, that this was too important to let go. I walked back to the control room, on wobbly legs, taking several deep breaths. I can do this. I can do this.

 I finally calmed myself down enough to speak, “Doctor?”

“What is with all the questions today?”

 Anger coursed through me. Something is happening to me and I’m scared. And yet here he is asking me why I have all these questions. I spoke, sarcasm and anger dripping into my voice, “I’m sorry. I can’t help that I’m inquisitive. Well maybe it’s because I’m in a ship that’s bigger on the inside with an alien in outer space going after other aliens!”

“Fine, what is it?

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye, “Doctor what did he mean?”

“Who?”

“Zayn, when he said that there were others before me?”

“I have been alive for hundreds of years. All that time traveling, sometimes I get lonely. People come along with me, we have the best of times together, but in the end they always leave me.”

“When you say leave, do you mean they die?”

Pain clearly filled his voice, “Sometimes, but sometimes they move on and forget about me.” He looked me right in the eye. “It’s dangerous traveling with me, but the wonder and adventure is worth it.” The TARDIS landed. He looked away, back at the controls. “We’re here. You don’t have to come; I can still take you home. You could be safe.”

I considered his offer. Did I really want to go around risking my neck? I thought of the man and woman I saw. They were so happy. It killed me to think that they were possibly dead. Did I really want to end up like them? I thought the about others that probably came before them. Knowing what I know, would they still go? That’s when I felt it, that feeling in my gut, telling me to stay. That this was too important to pass up. That I couldn’t run away, I had to stand up and do what was right.