Lion El‘ Jonson

“What is a human doing here?”

Lion caught you while he was patrolling the borders of his territory and while you were no threat to him he certainly wouldn’t let you go unchecked. His forest green tail is almost invisible in the kelp forest that he inhibits and usually everyone stays away from the treacherous currents that frequent that area. It takes some time to convince him that you were indeed just fishing for food and in a way he relented, still suspicious.

Every time you go to that spot Lion is already there as if anticipating your arrival, observing you. It’s hard to make conversation with someone as secretive as him but at least he’s good at getting your hook unstuck if you ask nicely. Swimming through the kelp forest with him is certainly an experience, having him pulling you along till you can look at the school of fish and all the small creatures that inhabit his home.

Lion has a habit of being fiercely over the things he likes and missing a day and not coming to your spot means you will get interrogated the next time where you have been and it’s almost as if he’s getting attached.

Legends say that the caves that Lion and his sons are guarding hold immeasurable treasures inside of them but those who ventured inside never lived to tell the tale. None of his sons confirm if it’s true or not so perhaps it will be a secret forever.

Perturabo

“Think better before you venture that far out on your inferior boat.”

The first time you saw him you got startled since the last thing you expected was a man with gills, trying to dislodge a piece of metal from the side of your boat and looked offended as you protested. Trying to hit him with a paddle resulted in him catching it and throwing you easily into the water. You could only watch as a huge dark silver tail disappeared into the depths of the open sea and you were left with a damaged boat.

Taking a piece of metal with you was perhaps the best decision since Perturabo lives in a treacherous area with a lot of sunken ships and yours could be next. He wants materials, trinkets that he can study and work with so as long as he gets what he wants he allows you to fish there.

It’s far fetched to say that he likes you but he listens with hidden curiosity when you talk about your home and gives you some reluctant advice on how to improve your boat so it doesn’t sink. Maybe someday he will show you some of his creations in exchange for a priceless relic or a waterproof book of course. Besides he sees it as a chance to replicate and understand some of the devices he had found in shipwrecks and you are going to help him if you want it or not.

His sons don’t even dare to approach you when he’s nearby. Perturabo had put some kind of claim over you and he has no trouble ending everyone who tries to take what’s his.

Rogal Dorn

“Excuse me. I see you have some scraps that you don’t use. I would like to have them.”

The flash of yellow surprised, considering that it’s hard to find something that colorful in the cold sea but you honestly didn’t expect a polite, straightforward merman asking for some fishing line. Too stunned you gave him the fishing line and in exchange he gave you a massive fish that fed you for two days. Your next meeting went also straightforward but this time you managed to ask him for his name: Rogal Dorn.

Rogal is up for a fair exchange of goods. He brings you fish that is hard to come by in icy climates, you bring him materials regularly and you manage to co-exist easily. You might be surprised how advanced his culture is in regard to building things. Every time when you meet him, he doesn’t forget to remind you to dress warmer as it would be unfortunate for you to fall sick. In a way that’s how he shows care and it’s quite sweet.

He remembers things pretty good and always inquires how your friends and family are doing or if you succeeded in a certain endeavor. While you don’t know where he even learned how to maintain a boat, he certainly helped you fix your on occasion and helped you make some improvements to make it less likely to sink and more efficient.

Now every time you set out into the waters there is at least one of his sons who accompanies you from a safe distance to not disturb your fishing but also to intervene if you would fall into the water.

Konrad Curze

“You pass my judgment. You won’t die tonight.”

Honestly Konrad looks terrifying with his black eyes, pale skin and too sharp teeth that could easily tear a chunk of flesh out of you. Luckily for you the creature with midnight scales that is looking at goes only after fishermen who committed atrocities and crimes, creeping up on them at dusk and tearing them apart. He had only approached you out of curiosity since no one dares to fish at night in that area, afraid of a bad omen.

During day time he lurks in the deep sea, where no light comes through since it’s too harsh on his eyes and you always need to dim your lights when he’s around. After he’s done with his nightly activities he often follows your boat around, sometimes pointing out things that you have missed. It’s strange to speak with someone who sees the future and the crimes of others but it seems your company is good for him.

Clearly he had not many interactions with humans since keeping one alive is harder than just killing them. Konrad tried to be gentle, not to scratch you or hurt you on accident. A few times he had given you some pretty shells and trinkets, waiting for some kind of response. When you gave him something in return he seemed to be in thought as if he didn’t expect you to pass some hidden judgment of his. At least you will live another day.

His favor doesn’t stop his bolder sons to nudge your boat to scare you for their entertainment. As long as you don’t fall into the water that is infested with those creatures you should be fine.

Sanguinius

“The rocks are quite sharp here. Please be careful.”

Unfortunately you had cut your leg while being in the water and were bleeding all over the place, trying to get back onto your boat. Something moved in the water and you before you knew it you were grabbed by cold hands, that gave you the extra push to get into your boat. You knew that the smell would no doubt attract creatures. You just didn’t expect to attract something as big as Sanguinius, with a tail as red as your blood.

He almost looked harmless, almost ethereal if it wasn’t for the fangs in his mouth, the red rim around his iris and the hungry look on his face at the sight of your blood. Thankfully he has a lot of self control and admits that he had been following you for a while, trying to get a glimpse at your locket and the small portrait inside of it. Most paintings he finds in wrecks are already rotten or damaged but yours is still whole.

Believe it or not it gets lonely being seen as only a pretty thing and he is glad that he had found someone who will indulge his interest without worshipping him. With others he’s a perfect son, with you he’s just Sanguinius. After you introduce him to the craft hours are spend practicing, painting everything from plants to fish to you on your boat. And when you need to return time the shore he looks longingly after you.

Most of his sons are as disciplined as him, never attacking humans and getting their fill of blood from other sources. Most if not for a small part of them, with an extraordinary bloodlust that you should be wary of.

Vulkan

“Please don’t be afraid. I won’t harm you.”

It was the end you thought when your foot got stuck between a few pieces of stone as you tried to resurface. Your lungs were burning as you tried to free it desperately until two hands gently dislodged it and pulled you back to the surface and the strange merman held you, asking you if you were alright and comforting your panicked tears before moving you to the shallow waters as far as he could go.

Despite his huge size, Vulkan is a calm giant that will gladly help you out if you are lost and protect you till you can dock somewhere. It’s surprising how you didn’t notice him at first even though he certainly stands out with his pitch black skin and dark green scales, covered in all kinds of fancy jewelry that glints in the sun. Don’t be fooled though, Vulkan is not docile and is capable to defend himself and the people he holds dear.

Vulkan will gladly trade with you with too! Anything from land in exchange for fish, pearls and sometimes even handcrafted trinkets from him. One of the best Primarchs to swim around with and he will gladly teach you how to dive so you can see all the beautiful reefs and fish. Evenings are often spent floating around togheter, him allowing you to sit on his tail and sharing fruit with each other while enjoying the sunset.

His sons are also pretty nice, most of them took after their father and are used to interact with humans and being around them, trading with them for materials and making long lasting friendships.

Corvus Corax

“The night is rather peaceful.“

You felt eyes on you every time you went out during the night. Something was lurking in the dark but it never attacked, never showed itself and you were convinced it was just your imagination when you once saw pitch black scales so close to your boat. At some point you started to throw small trinkets into the water as a small thank you for watching hing over you and you were surprised when something threw a pearl into your ship.

Corvus usually hides during day time in deep waters, coming to the surface at night to look at the stars and the moon while the world remains silent around him. He didn’t mean to befriend you but the peaceful air around you had drawn him in to observe you and after all those trinkets he felt like he needed to give something back. He approached your boat not long after and introduced himself, becoming your companion for many nights, humming melodies and leaning on your boat.

Although while Corvus doesn’t have a luster for blood, he’s not passive either. He’s aware of what can happen at sea and will intervene when he notices a crime being committed and bring the perpetrators to his own brutal justice. He was given claws and knife sharp teeth for a reason and he intends to use it for good.

You mistook several of his sons for him a few times since they all seemed to share his black tail. Usually they appear in the distance when he’s not around as if being send to check upon you.

Roboute Guilliman

“It would’ve been tragic to just let you die.”

It had been a bad idea going out when the wind was picking up and it threatened to rain. Certainly you regretted it when a wave knocked you into the water. The boat was drifting away from you and when you went under the waves again, you saw something approaching. It grabbed you and pulled you to the surface and held you against its chest, keeping your head above the water and you clung to it because your life depended on it.

Guilliman has a strong sense of justice and honor. Leaving you to drown when he can prevent it went against those principles and he had held you above the water all night till he could safely retrieve your boat and pull it back to the docks to the safety of your people. Weeks later you saw the same ultramarine tail in the water as he actually came back to check on your well being. It’s a good first step to build relations with humans too.

But Roboute isn’t only a politician. He enjoys learning about history, art and music because those things are the soul of the culture in his opinion. He gave you one of his golden bracelets and in exchange you gave him yours, symbolizing a connection between you two. He has a lot of responsibilities but when he can spare some time, he enjoys visiting you. Not as a regent, but as a friend.

His sons are as steadfast and just as notable as him. Sometimes a much smaller, older mermaid comes to visit with Roboute and you were kindly introduced to his mother figure Euten, who helped to raise him.

Ferrus Manus

“Need a hand?”

When your boat broke down in the middle of the ocean you knew you were screwed. Abandoning your sinking boat you tried to swim for the nearest shores but at some point your muscles were giving out and you thought you would be swallowed by the sea. You hardly hoped for help but it came anyway in the shape of a merman with a silver tail that had pulled you along to the shallows.

Ferrus lives in harsh conditions, diving deep and fighting massive squids for food where only the most adapted survive to see another day so it was no wonder that he had decided to save you when he saw your refusal to die. While there are certainly more friendly living conditions Ferrus refuses to abandon his roots and continues the tradition of descending into the treacherous depths to prove yourself. The countless of scars on his body certainly show that he had a lot of successful hunts.

Now since he has befriended you by saving your life he comes back up to the surface more often, one time even bringing you the beak of a giant squid as a gift for his long absence. In return you gave him a necklace with a shark tooth as a pendant, a reminiscence of your own successful catch.

Clearly Ferrus was seeing something in you even if his own sons saw you as weak. They don’t mingle with humans and honestly have very little to do with you besides a few individuals.

Leman Russ

“Don’t fall into the water. Wouldn’t want for you to freeze.”

There were legends that under all that ice lived a massive creature, ferocious as a wolf and as old as the glaciers themselves. You hardly paid them any mind until you went out, drifting besides the ice in the eerier stillness and a massive creature with a light blue tail rose from the depths and jumped over your little boat before disappearing into the cold water again. From then on you knew that the legends were more than true.

You quickly found out that Leman was a simple creature. Between hunting and patrolling his home he enjoyed the landscape and creatures that lived on the ice and led a content life with his sons. Most of the stories about him came from the time he defeated sea monsters and conquered the ice but just because he seemingly settled down doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be able to repeat all of his great feats.

Lemans culture is quite rich and has its own rituals and customs. All kind of skulls adore him, nearly frozen pelts and fine crafted weapons are always seen with him when he sits on the ice and a part of you starts to give him small offerings too. Give him some good alcohol and you two will be busy for the day, laughing together. He will make sure that his favorite human doesn’t freeze to death and will pull your boat to safety.

Surprisingly his sons were quite merry and generous creatures of you had their favor. They were more than willing to give you all the fish in the world for some booze that humans made.

Jaghatai Khan

“Of course I can swim faster than a boat. That’s what I’ve been training for.”

Upgrading your boat to a faster one certainly made transportation more easy. You swam out, the wind whipping around you as you enjoyed the weather on the open sea, but suddenly you saw something following you, picking up speed till it was swimming beside you. It was a pretty thing to see his golden tail with uneven red stripes reflect the waters when he raced past your boat in matter of seconds. How fast was that creature!?

Jaghatai lives for speed and racing against fish and boats is one of his favorite past times. Politely he thanked you for the race when he appeared beside your boat. There hadn’t been many fast boats in that area and he was surprised that he had met you. But guess people change after the last time he had passed there and he was more than glad to make your acquaintance. Maybe you should invest more in your boats engine.

There will be months where you simply won’t see him. He travels a lot around the world, visiting old friends and seeking new challenges . He will make sure to sometimes bring you presents and trinkets from all kinds of places and will gladly spend evenings telling you about his adventures. It’s fascinating and scary to imagine all the creatures that inhabit the oceans and the fact that he sometimes narrowly escapes with his life.

You kinda expected that his sons would also have his coloring and affinity for speed. In fact you have become one of their favorite obstacles to jump over and race against when they see you in the water.

Magnus

“Wait! Don’t go! I only want to ask some questions!”

You were battling with a fish when a giant red spot approached your boat and startled you let go of your rod. The red shape disappear and you hoped that whatever distracted the creature would be enough for you to escape. Before you knew it though a hand emerged from the water offering you your fishing rod and when you looked down, you were met with a kind smile from the creature named Magnus that looked rather excited.

If he could he would go and find all the records of the relics and treasures he finds himself but with no legs he has no access to the human world and its hard to find likeminded individuals who won’t flee at the first sight of him. It’s honestly disheartening but since you are still around he won’t be against working relationship where you help each other. He will even take you with him to do some treasure hunting together if you want!

Magnus is honestly ready to risk it all just to see the insides of your home and you have to dissuade him from crawling across the whole beach and risking to dry out. As a compromise you agreed to bring him anything you can to the beach. Books, paintings, toys, whatever he wants to study and his eyes always shine when he’s allowed to keep something. His beautiful collection is always growing!

He is nearly never alone, always followed by at least a few sons who share his thirst for knowledge and help him document things. Now you have to worry about multiple people crawling across the beach.

Mortarion

“I really don’t need to go anywhere else. I’m content being here.”

When you went out fishing you didn’t think you would find a seemingly abandoned island that was nowhere on the map. Going through the bushes you soon came to a fresh water spring, and you would’ve gladly went into the blue water, even if it was a tad bit murky if it weren’t for the pair of eyes that looked at you. You didn’t expect a merman with a pale green tail living on an island but there is always a first time for everything.

With his rather bleak world view Mortarion isn’t the most pleasant creature to be around and having been disappointed by humans he had found his own sanctuary through some underwater passages. But with a promise that you won’t tell anyone about this island he might just indulge you.

Sometimes you really wonder how Mortarion lives. Surely the ocean is far more interesting than an abandoned island and a murky spring that is over growing with algae. You had asked him about it one day but there wasn’t much of an answer. He had survived the occasional oil spill and radiation, he will be fine with a little bit of sediment. Besides there is a lot of life in those waters even if you can’t see it from the surface. In fact he’s willing to show you some of it if you come down into the water to swim with him. The fish are rather beautiful in those parts.

His sons clearly inherited his resilience. You jaw dropped when you saw how a few of them ate extremely poisonous fish like they were snack. Apparently those are a local delicacy for them.

Angron

“You should be careful when picking a fishing spot.”

The first time you met Angron, he nearly capsized your little boat. He’s aggressive, the sight of his scarlet tail a sign of trouble. Angron is no stranger to human cruelty and has no reason to show anyone mercy when he was given none. After your small brush with death you are certainly more careful when fishing there but still the prospect of food drives you back to the edges of his home and he observes you with a snarl.

It takes months for him to get used to your presence but since you were only taking what you need and were leaving him a share of your bounty at the old red buoy he at least tolerated you. Angron doesn’t trust humans and after killing his captors he wants nothing to do with them. Only after nearly a year of visiting he started to swim up to your boat, exchanging a few words and taking his share directly from your hands.

There is always an underlying danger when dealing with him and when you offered to remove some painful looking hooks from his tail you thought he would end you. Instead he reluctantly laid down on his back, allowing you to access it under the threat of death if you tried something. In the end maybe you weren’t as awful as he had initially thought and perhaps he would grow to enjoy your company.

After seeing their father not killing you on sight, his sons decided to leave you be at least for a while. Just don’t forget that their teeth can pierce more than just fish and that you have no way of out-swimming them.

Horus Lupercal

“Why the scared look? I haven’t even done anything yet.”

Upon your initial meeting you had mistaken him for a shark at first. You were diving for clams and mussels, picking them up from the sandy ground when a shadow passed over you. Catching a glimpse of white and gray you thought it was just another predator and decided it was time to go when you suddenly came face to face with a creature twice your size that was looking rather smug about catching you.

Horus is confident, charming and coming from an important line he’s s driven by conquest. But life gets a bit dull after conquering the whole sea and battling every sea monster. Luckily for him there is a human coming regularly to the same spot that can cure his boredom. He visits you a lot considering that you are the only human that returns, even if he tilts your boat, making you nearly fall and leaves scratches on it.

Despite what you might think Horus is very curious, wanting to know what lies beyond the sea. A few times he even swam up to the docks, waiting for you patiently to show him things from your home. He often leans against your boat, asks you to swim with him and to tell him more stories of your people while he closes his eyes and tries to imagine that life. On the other hand he tried to think of a way to make you see his world too.

Some of his sons are pretty levelheaded and reasonable which you hardly expected from someone having Horus genes. Others are exactly what you expected having Horus genes.

Lorgar Aurelian

“The stars shine in your favor today.”

When you entered the saltwater cave on your way home you certainly didn’t expect to stumble over a sacred place. The walls were covered in strange scriptures and in the clear water you saw what appeared to be a shrine. Diving down was a bad idea. You were almost certain you wouldn’t reach the surface again, if not for a merman with a golden tail, littered with a few silver scales that pulled you out onto a dry patch of rock.

Lorgar is an interesting creature to say the least. Worshiping his father like a god, building temples underwater and telling you all about fate when you nearly drowned in his home. It’s rare that humans come by his cave but as long as you don’t try to steal anything he extends his welcome to you. He will gladly teach you about his people if you are willing to give him a piece of your knowledge in return.

It becomes a small ritual to come and leave a small offering for a successful trip and strangely it works. The upper half of the cave becomes a bit more lived in after you bring some candles and an old rug to sit on with you and Lorgar is more than happy to find dry patches so that he may keep all the things you give him perfectly save. It would be a shame to let those beautiful books be destroyed by dropping them into water.

A part of you really doesn’t trust some of his sons. There is just something off about them but still most of them are nice enough to be around them. Just watch out for the two suspicious ones.

Alpharius/Omegon

“A human.” “We hadn’t have those in a while.”

It leaves you scared and confused seeing two identical specimens circling your boat but it’s also mesmerizing to see how synchronized they move, how their teal tails shimmer in the light and you almost let your guard down until one of them grabbed you and pulled you into the water. You thought it was the end but they disappeared and when you climbed back into the boat, the big fish that you have caught has been stolen.

Next time you can prepared and vigilant and ignored one of the twins, sitting on a cliff when he tried to talk to you. Alpharius and Omegon could be a threat to you if they wanted. Instead they decided to be a minor nuisance. It’s like a game to them, observing you, trying to sneak up on you or to snatch something. It’s never a lot to drive you away fully away and the fish in that area are quite nice.

Still sometimes they can be quite useful. They tell you where to get a bigger catch, some gossip that they heard from other ships or what spots to avoid unless you want to meet far worse predators that hide in the water’s below. Sometimes they invite you to swim with them but honestly you don’t trust them fully yet. Clearly they have some hidden agenda and you have yet to find out what it is.

You didn’t even know they had sons till you saw a third merman that looked identical to them. As if two of them weren’t enough there are apparently countless of them watching you from the cliffs.

Bonus!!!

Emperor of (Fish-) Mankind

“Don’t flee little one. You won’t be successful in that endeavor.”

The largest specimen you have ever seen with a golden tail and an otherworldly glow. You were awestruck when he swam under your boat and completely unprepared when he took an interest in you. But his blinding presence also makes danger less visible, making you almost forget that your boat ain’t going anywhere until he allows it. He would certainly not have any problem holding you in place or drag it down with him.

He doesn’t appear often but when he does it’s often with smaller golden warriors around him. He often asks you about what is happening on land and what events are transpiring. On the other hand he has a lot of stories to tell you as a being that is perhaps older than your whole bloodline and he always gets that fond smile when you are curious about him or the past.

His custodians as he had called his golden warriors are constantly watching you and every time you touch Big E they narrow their eyes. It makes you wonder what kind of protection someone like Big E needs.

Malcador

“There is a better spot a bit more down the stream.”

It surprised you to see an old man with a grayish tail approach your boat. As far as legends went they should be alluring, waiting to drown sailors but guess there is more variety to them than you thought. A being so ancient that lives close to the cliffs might be considered a prophet. You asked him a question, not thinking much of it till you received a genuine answer. Once you left your eyes off him though he disappeared into the water.

You’re never sure what his agenda is or why he helps you. He gives you advice, asks for little in return safe the occasional book. At first you thought he needed help in hunting but you quickly scraped that thought when you saw him outswim a ship. Whatever he needs or tries to achieve is clearly working since you can’t help but return to his usual spot and so far nothing bad has happened to you so might as well enjoy the fish.

Lion El'Jonson:

- Serf: *hands him his sword*

- Lion: "They touched my hand for 0.5 seconds longer than necessary"

- Has a full crisis meeting with his inner circle about What This Means

- Luther is like "my lord, they were just doing their job"

- Lion: "But they smiled at me"

- Spends three weeks analyzing every interaction

- The serf has no idea any of this is happening

Fulgrim:

- Serf: *compliments his artwork*

- Fulgrim: "THEY UNDERSTAND ME ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL"

- Writes them poetry

- Commissions a painting of them

- Plans their future together in his head

- The serf was just being polite about the portrait

- Honestly they're a little scared now

Perturabo:

- Serf: *remembers how he likes his tea*

- Perturabo: "Finally, someone who pays attention to detail"

- Starts leaving his designs out for them to see

- "They're the only one who appreciates my work"

- Builds them a mechanically perfect music box

- Serf: "Thank you, my lord?" *confused*

- Perturabo thinks this is a love story, it's actually just good customer service

Jaghatai Khan:

- Serf: *laughs at his joke*

- Khan: "We have a connection"

- Invites them to go riding

- Writes them into his poetry

- They're just being friendly because he's their boss??

- He's already named the wind after them

- Serf is just trying to get through their shift

Leman Russ:

- serf: *brings him food*

- Russ: "THEY WISH TO PROVIDE FOR ME"

- This is clearly a courtship ritual in his mind

- Starts trying to impress them with stories

- Brings them trophies from hunts

- Serf: "My lord, I'm just doing my job"

- Russ: "So humble!!"

Rogal Dorn:

- Serf: *follows his instructions precisely*

- Dorn: "They understand the importance of protocol. This is compatibility."

- Adds them to his personal schedule

- "We work well together"

- Starts building them things

- The serf is just good at their job and now they have a fortress??

- Dorn has planned their next 50 years together

Konrad Curze:

- Serf: *doesn't run away screaming*

- Curze: "They accept me as I am"

- Gets wildly attached immediately

- Has visions of their future (probably concerning)

- Serf is literally just brave/professional

- Or too scared to run

- This will not end well but it's happening

Sanguinius:

- Serf: *normal amount of awe at his presence*

- Sanguinius: "I felt something"

- He's so used to worship he thinks genuine kindness is love

- Starts seeking them out specifically

- Writes the most beautiful poetry about them

- Serf is having a religious experience, not a romantic one

- The disconnect is real

Ferrus Manus:

- Serf: *shows interest in his forge work*

- Ferrus: "A kindred spirit"

- Starts teaching them metalwork

- "They appreciate craftsmanship"

- Makes them elaborate gifts

- Serf just thought the metalwork was cool

- Now they're in an apprenticeship/romance they didn't sign up for

Angron:

- Serf: *shows him basic human kindness*

- Angron: *completely overwhelmed*

- Has never experienced gentleness

- Thinks this is what love is

- Gets protective immediately

- Serf: "I just asked if you were okay??"

- Angron: "No one has ever cared before"

- This is heartbreaking actually

Roboute Guilliman:

- Serf: *efficient at their job*

- Guilliman: "Excellent organizational compatibility"

- Has a spreadsheet on why this makes sense

- "Our workflow synergy is optimal"

- Plans a logical progression of courtship

- Serf: "I just filed your reports?"

- Guilliman: "Exactly. Perfect partnership material."

Mortarion:

- Serf: *doesn't recoil from him*

- Mortarion: "They see past the exterior"

- Gets super intense about it

- "Everyone else fears me but not them"

- Serf is just professional

- Or has a really good poker face

- Mortarion is writing tragic poetry about this

Magnus the Red:

- Serf: *makes eye contact*

- Magnus: "A PSYCHIC BOND"

- Reads way too much into every interaction

- "Our souls resonated"

- Does mystical readings about their compatibility

- Serf: "I literally just looked at you??"

- Magnus: "Exactly. Destiny."

Horus Lupercal:

- Serf: *responds to his charisma like everyone does*

- Horus: "This one is different"

- Narrator: They were not different

- But Horus is convinced

- Turns on the charm to 11

- Serf is just starstruck like everyone else

- Horus thinks he's found his soulmate

Lorgar Aurelian

- Serf: *exists near him*

- Lorgar: "A SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE"

- Writes 500 pages about this divine connection

- "They were sent to me"

- Creates a whole theology around it

- Serf: "I was assigned to this shift"

- Lorgar: "Yes. Assigned by fate."

Vulkan:

- Serf: *accepts a hug*

- Vulkan: "They understand my need for connection!"

- Makes them personalized gifts

- "A bond forged in friendship and fire"

- Okay but Vulkan might actually just want to be friends

- Serf is cool with this

- This is the healthiest one on the list honestly

Corvus Corax:

- Serf: *brings him food in his dark brooding corner*

- Corax: "They seek me out in the shadows"

- Writes angsty poetry about it because why not

- "They are my light in the darkness"

- Serf: "someone has to make sure you eat??"

- Corax: *more poetry*

- The drama of it all

Alpharius/Omegon:

- Serf: *literally just doing their assigned tasks*

- Alpharius: "They've seen through my disguise"

- Omegon: "No they haven't"

- Alpharius: "This is a test of their loyalty"

- Serf has no idea there are two of them

- Both primarchs think the serf is in love with them specifically

- Serf: "I'm so confused"

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Lion El'Jonson

On him? Absolutely! He let it grow wild, it's a jungle down there.

It's mostly because he doesn't care, it's easiest to just let it grow and "if it wasn't supposed to be there it would not grow there" type of mentality tbh;

On you? He pretends that he doesn't care, but he doesn't like if you shave/wax it off. But he's not gonna say anything, he knows this is your body and you can have your preference;

Will get all red if he sees your happy trail tho

Fulgrim

Ha! No. He likes to be smooth, wax it off so he doesn't have to do it so often;

But he also doesn't grow a lot of body hair, and yes all his hair is white so it's barely visible anyway. He just doesn't like how it feels on him;

On you? If you two are together he alredy sees you as perfection, so it's up to you really. But if you do wanna wax it he does have tips!

Perturabo

He trims it. Just so it's not in the way of putting his armor on, but if didn't have to do that, wouldn't shave.

He's naturally very hairy and his body hair grows very quickly, so he gets frustrated and thinks about burning it all off like his Astartes, but having body hair makes him feel masculine, so he doesn't do it.

On you? Will judge you if you don't shave, yes he's an asshole like that. Will say some bullshit about hygene or something;

Jaghatai Khan

Also trims it. But just sometimes, for aesthetics propose. He doesn't really care but he likes to look nice for special occasions;

Doesn't grow a lot of body hair in general but when he doesn't take care of it things get wild fast;

On you? Please PLEASE don't shave! He goes absolutely FERAL for body hair, but he will not say anything about it, sees it as your choice so he doesn't push it.

I also can see him being the type to write you a letter saying "I'm coming home in a month. Don't shave"

Leman Russ

Ha ha! lol absolutely not. A complete jungle down there, all natural baby!

Very hairy man that says he can never shave/wax it because "What will protect me from the cold of Fenris then?", but don't be fooled! He takes great care of all his hair!

On you? All natural or you trim it into shapes, otherwise he gets creeped out, "Adults should have hair down there, love."

Rogal Dorn

If he not in his armor it's all natural, but the moment he has to put armor on he is burning all the hair on his body off;

Don't worry though, his body hair grows quickly! Give him like a week and it's back to normal.

On you? Another one that thinks it's weird if you completely shave/wax it, will not comment on it unless asked tho;

He says he doesn't like the feeling of not having it on his mouth

Konrad Curze

He doesn't care about such frivolities, so yeah all natural

To be honest he is more occupied with more important things then to care about how he looks, lucky for him he almost doesn't grow body hair;

On you? Also doesn't care, will comment if you had a full bush and suddenly shave it, but that's it

Sanguinius

Shaves almost religiously, doesn't like how body hair looks or feels on him at all

He used to use those creams to remove body hair, but now he's too big to use them and it feels strange when they come into contact with his feathers;

On you? Would prefer if you also shave it all off, or just trim it is fine too, but he would never say it! Your body your rules.

Ferrus Manus

Burns all his hair off, he is smooth all the way, he says it's for his armor but he just likes the way it looks;

His body hair grows really slow so he only needs to do that every so often, if you ask on why he likes it that way he will say it's to match his arms;

On you? All natural or completely shaved off, no inbetween. You will have to remind him that baselines can't burn body hair off like Astartes tho

Angron

Burns it all of if it gets in the way of his armor, until then he doesn't care about it;

He dislikes the sensation of a sharp blade or hot wax on his skin and finds it unnecessary torture, you will have to ask him not to burn his eyebrows off too

On you? He will say the doesn't care and that you can do as you please, but he does like if you go all natural.

On Nuceria slaves were obligated to shave all off in case some one wanted to "use" them

Roboute Guilliman

Trims it, but it's for hygene reasons he says, you can see that he is letting himself go if he starts to go all natural;

Yes, his body hair is all blond too, so it's a little hard to see that he has any, but he likes the texture that having at least some provides.

On you? He will be on his knees begging you to not shave it all off, he will say that you look perfect just the way you are and that you don't need to do that;

Mortarion

All natural, but he doesn't grow a lot of body hair and will trim it if you asked but not that keen on it

He likes the way he looks with it and will start telling you about the positives on having body hair, did you know that it helps dissipate pheromones?

On you? Would like that you also go full bush but won't say anything about it, it's your body after all;

Magnus the red

He uses those creams to remove body hair everytime he takes a bath, he is smooth;

He does grow a lot of body hair if he doesn't deal with it thinks get wild fast, and yes the carpet match the drapes.

On you? Will ask that you do the same (more like tell you that you have to do the same), it's for hygene he says;

Horus Lupercal

All natural that he trims for special occasions. He says it shows how manly he is;

Grows a lot of body hair really fast and will joke that all the hair that was on his head is now on his body;

On you? Completely wax off or if you insist about having some thing he also likes when you trim it into a heart shape

Lorgar Aurelian

Trims it for practical reasons, but will let it grow if you asked;

Doesn't really grow a lot of body hair but also thinks it's weird when he doesn't have any. Had to burn it all off once so he could test his new armor and only looked himself in the mirror after he let it grow for a bit.

On you? Doesn't care but has a soft spot if you let it grow all natural, says something about fertility

Vulkan

Burns it all off to make it easy to put on his armor, but likes to have a little bit;

Also don't really grows a lot of body hair and can't use normal razors because they melt on his body heat and wax never hardens on him so burning all of it's the only solution;

On you? Thinks that not having any body hair is weird so please grow a bit of it!

Thinks it's erotic to have a full bush

Corvus Corax

Trims it, likes the way he looks with body hair but every so often he shaves it all off

If he doesn't trim it, the body hair gets out of control, grows everywhere, and grows very quickly, doesn't like the feel burning his body hair off;

On you? Would like if you trim it too but doesn't say anything unless asked, it's your body do as you please;

Alpharius and Omegon

They both burn it all off so they match, but on the rare occasion that doesn't happen you can easily distinguish the twins;

Alpharius has straight hair and Omegon is curly, it's way they both do bald lol

On you? Do as you please, but they like a bit on you, makes you look mature they say

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