#odd requests

Cullen Rutherford has never danced in his life, so when a situation arises where it would be required of him, he decides to be proactive and learn. With Alistair’s recommendation, he books a set of private lessons with Ellana Lavellan, hoping it would be enough to make him survive what he considers hell. What he doesn’t expect is to become attracted to his lovely dance instructor.

Cullavellan || Modern AU || 3,875 words || Read on AO3 || Read from the start

Excerpt:

Ellana looked away. It was so easy to convince herself that Cullen wasn’t interested in her, that she had imagined everything that had happened between them, but if she dug deep enough inside her heart, she might believe that Kallian was right. She could remember that moment, right before Solas had shown up, where she tripped, fell into Cullen’s arms and was a breath’s breadth away from feeling his lips on hers. The memory made her bite on her lower lip and look back to Kallian again.

“It’s hard to imagine he’d want me that way, you know,” she said quietly. “He’s an extremely attractive man and I am certain that he’s had a crowd of women vying for his attention. How could I measure up?”

It was Kallian’s turn to cross her arms, so completely unimpressed with her opinion.

My roommate has been asking me and her daughter to brush her teeth for the last year

... so tonight I told the little one, go get the toothbrush. Not only did she put the paste on it, she wet it. It was electric.

I got a paper towel and had her sit back with a pillow. She geared up and as gentle as I could and I put the brush against her teeth.

Ow.

Lol! I WAS gentle....

This happened back in February, but it haunts me to this day. DA people are fucking weird! By the way, this is the first and only comment I've gotten like this (so far). Very concerning and confusing. Others have had worse though.

(I think that "message" next to the reply button was their response when I flagged the comment. I'm not being mean, just trying to get a weird comment off a request I did so I don't look equally as... I don't know? Creepy?)

Also, the person claims to be a "professional artist". They're art is worse than mine was when I started on DA.

This is the submission that the comment was under before I flagged it.

"So let's see," Charon typed quickly. "Buried face-down, head  pointing north, in a Mountain Ash coffin carved with Norse runes- I  assume you'll be providing the required text-"

"Of course," the man across from her- who introduced himself as Eton,  although it could be fake, assured her. "Your carpenter will be able to  follow them precisely?"

"Absolutely. Harry's great. He makes all our custom orders," Charon  said. "And the coffin is to be painted red, yes? Would you like any  special additives in the paint?"

She offered a list to him and he looked it over as she finished entering the required dimensions of the casket in question. 

"Do you have- ah, yes. Oxblood, please," the gentleman said and  offered the list back. "I must say, you are very well fitted to my  rather unusual needs."

Oxblood it is," Charon confirmed. "Well, when that funeral parlor  down the road opened- they're a chain you see- we were going out of  business. But there are always the more unique requests around and  business is business."

"Quite. Well, consider me a pleased client," Erin told her, and  handed over his bank card with no sign of distress at the frankly  shocking price of his selections. "I thought for sure I would have to  contract everything separately."

"In house is better," Charon ran the card and had him sign the in  once. "It will be three days before your order is finished, and you will  have the opportunity to check that everything is to your specifications  before we move forward."

"Marvelous."

He gave her a firm handshake and headed out the door. Charon sighed. Really, that was tame compared to her usual clients. 

"Jenny," I'm ready for the next appointment," she said into the  intercom. A minute later. A tentative woman in a long, flowing white  dress stepped in. 

She didn't look terribly human, but sometimes they didn't. Charon  tried not to judge. If their money was good, it was fine, and none of  them had tried to eat her yet 

"Welcome to Hallowed Halls," Charon said, and offered the woman a handout of their options. "How can we help your departed?"

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