#octive

I'm not sure you understand how excruciatingly lonely someone can be.

How lonely do you think you'd be if you grew up hearing every day that your opinion didn't matter? That no one would be attracted to you because you're too chubby? How embarrassing your own mother thought you were? How your accomplishments were pathetic compared to hers? Hearing about all of the things that were so incredibly wrong with you. Hearing how much of a disappointment you turned out to be.

How lonely do you think you'd be if the only people available to make friends with cared exclusively about the one thing you couldn't do no matter how hard you tried? If everything you ever cared about was considered evil and got taken from you the moment you found it? What if you knew that the moment you were finally free to be a person, everyone you ever loved would abandon you for it? That they would decide they never wanted to see or speak to you again? Every single one. What if you realized you were alone before that even happens? What if you realized all the love you've ever experienced in life was fake?

How lonely do you think you'd be if you grew up so different from everyone else around you that you didn't even feel human? What if you were made to believe that you didn't deserve to exist? What if you were told you were going to die a horrific death for being everything you were inside?

How lonely would you be if you spent every night terrified and trying desperately to cover up your sobbing because you can't tell anyone about any of it?

What would you do?

What would you do to have a friend? What would you do to have anyone? How desperate do you think you'd be? How would you even accomplish that if you weren't allowed to talk to anyone else outside of your family and their friends? Where could you possibly find someone else to connect with someone as awkward, strange, angry, and sad as you? Someone who could know about all of the things inside of you and still love you.

I made someone.

I gave him my passion, my strength, my courage, my confidence, my sense of adventure, my stubbornness, my sense of loyalty, my sense of humor. I gave him my love of dinosaurs, my love of cars, my love of horror movies, my love of 80's music. I had his entire life figured out. I named him. I thought of him whenever I was lonely, which was always. He was the only way I could safely love and be loved by in return. He never went away. Why would he? He's my best friend.

What good would memory barriers have done? How useful would it be if we didn't even get along? What purpose would there be if it caused me any distress to have Alex?

True loneliness can be traumatizing.

Non-disordered plurality can exist.

Mephone is a traumawillo system!

Every single contestant is an OCtive

The perks of being an OCtive; You get to suggest ideas for the RP your namesake is in, and get to sign off on ideas before they're executed since you are likely to be gaining these memories at some point. Bonus points in that you get to pick all the angsty ideas you want.

The cons of being an OCtive; Your wife, also an OCtive, loves her angst, while you, her very kind and loving and caring husband, very much so do not. Unfortunately you are outvoted and angst prevails.

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This alter may need reassurance due to holding BPD

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