#ocd obsessions

Bruce's intrusive thoughts/obsessions/compulsions include:

- paranoia that someone can read his thoughts at all times, which really sucks considering J'onn is with the JL

- needing to check his kids are breathing at night (typically done for babies) and if he doesn't do this he believes he has doomed them to die by not checking

- showering/washing hands if he can't shower, at least 3 times after patrol (more if it was a hard night, and he gets into a cycle if he doesn't do it right. This makes his skin really dry and itchy)

- he needs to check the cowl is on several times in a mirrored surface even though he can feel it on his face and knows its irrational

- one obsession is a constant fear of harming himself or others, either indirectly or directly (eg deliberately harming his children or accidentally killing them all by setting the house on fire by leaving the oven on)

- the "trophies" in the batcave is actually the only type of hoarding he can't overcome the compulsion for, because they might be useful someday (except the dinosaur. That's not a compulsion, he just likes dinosaurs)

- he often repeats nonsensical words in his head, either because he can't stop it or to avoid intrusive thoughts

- he will think of "neutralising" thoughts to counter obsessive thoughts, especially on patrol

- when thoughts of harming others get too bad, he will pull his hair, which helps only slightly

- he always does 3 out loud and 5 mental headcounts before and after patrol, so he's really upset when Dick or Jason aren't present because he can never be sure if they're out that night and if they returned

but on a real note:

my OCD affects everything i do. i cannot go a day without doing certain things and if i dont do them? i become erratic and feel deeply unsafe.

it gets to a point where it affects my paranoia so much and can start me going into psychosis

a lot (if not all) of the things i "have" to do for my OCD (the compulsions to the obsessions) are seriously damaging to my mental health and in the past my physical health as well

Like it's convinced me that's all these boys like me including one of my friends and I had convinced myself so much and then I realised no he doesn't.

my behaviour gets erratic because of that mixed with psychotic episodes

i particularly have "cancellation" ocd

im convinced that even if ive done nothing wrong, a bullshit callout post will be made and i will lose everyone close to me, my job, my family, my home. it doesnt even apply to my following cus i honestly dont really give into the "build a platform" rhetoric, mainly due to the ocd around this