#npder

Narc Rage is getting so insanely jealous when my ep dosent talk to me for 2 hours because they're talking to someone else. Like what could you possibly be talking to them about for so long? Talk to me. I'm better in every way. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Narc Rage is immediately hating that person and beginning to build up resentment.

Narc Rage is seeing someone do incredibly better in something I'm supposed to be super good in. Like wtf.

Narc Rage is someone constantly bringing up how I failed at something and having the urge to curse them tf out because why do you keep mentioning that. You still aren't better than me sit tf down.

Narc Rage might just be the hardest thing about npd for me. I've never experienced more rage than I have when I've perceived something that directly questioned my narcissistic 'delusion'. I genuinely do not think I could describe it in words. It's such an intense response and very different from just being very angry or pissed at someone/something. It's like trying to defend yourself from something threatening your very existence. And you're defending hard.

At least, that's the best way I could really describe it. I know my narc rage has actually hurt some people. Finding ways to deal with narc rage is hard for me too, especially because in the moment I don't really know that what I'm feeling is narc rage and I believe that I'm responding reasonably and properly when it's really anything but. And then, with me being self-aware, it's a constant battle between, "What you said then wasn't nice." "But I had a right to say that. Look at what they said." "But maybe I shouldn't have gone that far." "Well, maybe they'll actually feel how I feel. They deserved that. I did nothing wrong." and then deflecting the blame from myself.