#nonbinary kids

...and only just now do I have the time and spoons to return to blogging. Yikes.

One of my pride month ventures has been joining a Facebook community for the parents of nonbinary kids. The community is supposed to be based on support and acceptance, but apparently no one finds it against that mission to constantly complain about their kids being nonbinary, and issue endless hopes that it’s “just a phase.”

For the record (because I’m betting a lot of you nonbinary minors out there must actually be hearing this nonsense from your parents) this is not only not supportive or accepting, it’s straight-up enbyphobic/transphobic.

Yeah, some folks transition in and out of trans and/or nonbinary identities, and that is perfectly okay and legitimate, but treating that as a “hope” is not acceptable. It poses cisgender and binary as superior, as you don’t usually hope for the worst in life. That is why it’s an unacceptable way to treat this in your kids, or in anyone (especially those you claim to love and support).

Nonbinary identities are not inherently phases, are not always just “stepping stones” to being binary trans, or just “experimentation” that folks go through before settling into their birth genders. It’s not “just for kids” (yeah, my 14-year-old is nonbinary, but I am out here pushing 40, folks) and it’s not “brand new” (the language to describe it just hasn’t always existed in all cultures).

The gender clinic people asked Kiddo what their relationship to gender is and Kiddo was all: "hold on, imma draw you a diagram"

Then they proceeded to draw a straight line saying it was the gender spectrum. Then they drew a stick figure flying away from the line like "that's me!"

It was a kick ass diagram

Hello everybody! I’m trying to plan out a childrens book featuring a nonbinary child as the main character. While I am nonbinary myself, I’m not entirely sure how to go about the subject of day to day struggles that this character could have. This survey is asking about how you’d describe being nonbinary to a child, and age appropriate ways to explain the struggles of being nonbinary. Theres three questions in this survey, it’ll only take a minute and it would really help me out! I’d also appreciate it if only nonbinary people could take this survey, thank you!!

Don’t listen to nasty people who say that you’re too young to know, or that it’s just a passing childhood phase.

As promised, I got my hands on a copy of It Feels Good to Be Yourself written by Theresa Thorn and illustrated by Noah Grigni. I am definitely pleased with this book on a lot of levels. 

There’s representation of trans girls, trans boys, and nonbinary kids. It mentions gender fluidity and how sometimes you just can’t find the right word to fit who you feel you are. It encourages kids--both trans and cis--to talk about their gender identities. As a bonus, race and disability representation are visually incorporated. In the back there’s a glossary for parents new to the topic, talk of pronouns (including mention of ze/hir and how there are many beyond those), and a list of additional resources (including another children’s book, Who Are You? The Kid’s Guide to Gender Identity, which I also recommend).

I specifically included images here that represent some of how the book approaches nonbinary identities, since that’s directly related to this blog. I think it was handled quite well, and in more detail than I was expecting. Too often nonbinary identities are treated as the throwaways of the trans universe. We might get a scribble in the margin, but certainly not a whole page. This book gave us several pages, and covered a great deal of what it can mean to be nonbinary in terms simple enough for a young child to understand.