#nonbinary teens

The friend came out as non-binary and one month later her kid came out as non-binary? Nothing to suggest social contagion or trend there right? And the name thing.....19 is old enough be filling out paper work for school and to start looking for jobs between semesters. Even without the matching names part the mom is right to want her kind to be cautious about any legal name changes. And the kid is 19 and reacted that way when the mom shared her concerns about the name? A temper tantrum and implying support means being supportive about everything? At least the kid is acting like a veteran member of the queer community.

...and only just now do I have the time and spoons to return to blogging. Yikes.

One of my pride month ventures has been joining a Facebook community for the parents of nonbinary kids. The community is supposed to be based on support and acceptance, but apparently no one finds it against that mission to constantly complain about their kids being nonbinary, and issue endless hopes that it’s “just a phase.”

For the record (because I’m betting a lot of you nonbinary minors out there must actually be hearing this nonsense from your parents) this is not only not supportive or accepting, it’s straight-up enbyphobic/transphobic.

Yeah, some folks transition in and out of trans and/or nonbinary identities, and that is perfectly okay and legitimate, but treating that as a “hope” is not acceptable. It poses cisgender and binary as superior, as you don’t usually hope for the worst in life. That is why it’s an unacceptable way to treat this in your kids, or in anyone (especially those you claim to love and support).

Nonbinary identities are not inherently phases, are not always just “stepping stones” to being binary trans, or just “experimentation” that folks go through before settling into their birth genders. It’s not “just for kids” (yeah, my 14-year-old is nonbinary, but I am out here pushing 40, folks) and it’s not “brand new” (the language to describe it just hasn’t always existed in all cultures).

Don’t listen to nasty people who say that you’re too young to know, or that it’s just a passing childhood phase.

There are nonbinary adults who realized their gender only recently.

There are nonbinary adults who learned that they were nonbinary as a child, and grew up (like kids tend to do).