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so funny in tmohs when haruhi is playing in the band and everyone is bopping and grooving to the music and kyon is just absolutely refusing to show that he's also into it. but we explicitly get the close-up on his fingers to show that he likes it.
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wtf. i understand kyon is god theory now. his life now is so perfectly aligned with his desires that it cannot be a coincidence. either he is god, or haruhi retroactively altered the world such that kyon was like that.
the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya is so psychologically and interpersonally complex and it's pretty easy to miss. like neon genesis evangelion is very overt about the psychological complexes of its leads but the reflective viewer could make it through all of tmohs including the disappearance and basically only get "so kyon had to realize he actually does like having fun"
why does kyon keep john smith in reserve? it's not just keeping the supernatural from haruhi - he tells her about the other three. is it because he doesn't actually fully want to tell her and just wanted to like, clear his own air? does he enjoy having secret knowledge? is it truly to hold john smith as a trump card to manipulate her? (manipulate in like a neutral way - I tell her I'm john smith -> she now listens to me this time)
today on harukyon similarities:
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kyon wants to be the main character sooooo baddddd
wild as hell how kyon projects his own desires onto haruhi - take the disappearance. like at the end when he just described how he doesn't want nagato to go and would be upset he switches to instead talking about how haruhi wouldn't stand for it. like sure she wouldn't but that's not what you were talking about or why you said it.
this seems to come from the harukyon similarities, where haruhi and kyon seem to actually often have similar desires, kyon just outwardly and sometimes internally denies them (desire for aliens/espers/time travellers, desire for mikuru to be in sexually revealing situations, etc). kyon gets to reap the benefits of haruhi's desire (exciting adventures, sexy mikuru) while also reaping the benefits of outward and inward denial.
kyon so desperately wants to be both the specialist boy ever and also be normal. and wants to not want things and yet get to do them and have fun.
