#non binary jokes

tw: tiny mention of drugs

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“Are you a girl or a boy?”

“I don’t know but I’m starting to hear colors.”

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“I was a good kid.”

“Michael, you sold drugs.”

“Janet, I will push you off a bridge.”

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“You’re… so angry…. and short.”

“If I didn’t value your company, I’d kill you in your sleep.”

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“I’m sorry, it’s just that I’m gay and you’re… short… and filthy. It just wouldn’t work out.”

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“Oh, god, was that expensive?? Please tell me it wasn’t expensive, I’m poor.”

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“Well, what’s a slut to do when in a room filled with simps?”

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“She can not be mentally stable.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not!”

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“Ah, yes. Thou doth shine like a Cullen on the sun.”

— “i’m trying, but i just can’t find my inner silly goofy in these conditions.”

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“i called my superior an asshat, and now i’m running from the law.”

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Me, about the question we’ve been given in our Computer Science work: So, we have a friend who likes binary and never speaks - like okay, that’s fine, you’re non verbal and that’s perfectly fine, nothing wrong with that - and we asked her questions. And she answered them in binary. That takes some time to translate. but okay.

My friend: Well, definitely can’t be you.

Me: What?

you hate being referred to by male terms