#neurdivergence

I just got a Needoh yesterday (it was free, I found it on the floor of a home depot, someone must of left it) and I am really finding it useful, especially when I'm working on assignments. So I went online to see if I could buy a few more to keep in my bag and share with a family member and they are all completely sold out! Why does this keep happening?

They couldn't find a respite worker for us after Covid, so we use the self-managed version. And it SUCKS, if you have ADHD. We're getting respite for our ADHD kid, ADHD is mostly genetic, but the system is not at ALL set up for ADHD parents.

Two years ago, they told us that we had to have our invoices in by the 10th of each month, or they wouldn't reimburse them. Since then, we've only had 3/4 of our invoices reimbursed. I can't regularly do it, even with a LOT of effort and structures set up to support me.

This morning, I got news that things have changed! They WILL accept late invoices, I just need to send them as soon as I can. However, the social worker's VOICE while she asked my why I hadn't sent December's invoice in was ... triggering. I hate that voice. The condescending, trying to be understanding but they don't get it, kind of annoyed with you for being difficult, voice. I have heard it far too much.

I'd love to get that invoice sent in ASAP! But I need to recover, first.

What I'm going through is called Autistic burn out. It's something that is still being studied, but the accepted symptoms are different to regular burn out. Essentially, I've been masking for my entire life (and even that was a functioning much lower than is considered normal or productive tbh) and my body suddenly couldn't take any more. From what I hear, the longer you masked, the bigger the recovery time. So. That doesn't bode well.

More troubling is the advice. There are strategies for ADHD, there are strategies for Autism. As far as I've seen so far, the advice for AuDHD (having both at the same time) is "GOOD LUCK!".

I've been trying my best, and there have been moments when I've been able to function at some level, I could make art and talk to my friends or talk to literally anyone, but then inevitably life has a bump and I'm back to where I started, my bubble needs to shrink back down and I go into hermit mode.

This is going to keep happening, I think. I don't know how or when it'll get better, I think this is going to be a long process of learning and healing. It's extremely inconvenient to say the least.

I'm trying to take advantage of times when I have more energy and functioning to reach out to friends and make art, cause it's looking more and more like I only have a tight window to do it.

It's a can't, not a won't

A "Trigger Echo" refers to a unique way of using language that is closely connected to two related terms, "Echolalia" and "Echo."

A Trigger Echo is when someone involuntarily repeats or reflexively responds to a specific cue with a word, sentence, or sound. It shares similarities with echolalia but has its own distinct characteristics. Unlike typical echoes, a Trigger Echo happens automatically in response to external stimuli.

In everyday situations, a Trigger Echo might occur when a neurodivergent individual spontaneously echoes a response linked to a certain cue. This response can range from repeating the exact stimulus to generating related or tangential expressions, or just repeating something you've overheard. The cues that trigger these echoes can include words, phrases, or sensory inputs.

For instance, if "Bananas" are mentioned, a Trigger Echo could lead to an unplanned response like "No YOU'RE crazy," showcasing the automatic and sometimes contextually unrelated nature of this neurodivergent way of responding.

It's important to note that Trigger Echoes often happen when attention is diverted or focus is compromised. However, this isn't always the case.

✨ TERM COINER: @arctriforce 💖

Hope you liked the term :3 I make up lots of terms I can't find an already existing phenomena for! You can find more definitions I've made under the tag "#terms4u"

EASIER DEFINITION BELOW THE CUT:

My ADHD makes me chatty, and I have lots of friends, have dated a lot, and have many things about me on the surface that don't make me come across as "typically" autistic, or at least, autistic in the way most health care professionals are expecting to see. They first of all are not very familiar with autism as a disorder outside of young boys. I'm a 46 year old woman with a full time job and a lot of friends, so this won't be easy.

I think though, that all the evidence I've amassed from the last two months or so of absolutely obsessive research into autism and how it presents in women and girls and afabs, will help convince her.

I just wanted to touch on masking for a moment, because I'm not even sure my PCP will know what that is, but I feel like I seriously started masking my autism about 30 years ago, when I started high school. That's when I looked around me and realized other girls didn't act like me, and furthermore, if I wanted any friends or any acceptance, I would have to start acting like they did.

That's when I changed the way I spoke, the subjects I talked about, and didn't bring up any of the "weird" thoughts I had. That's when I started pretending to be carefree and charming and light hearted, when inside, a hot day, or a confusing social situation would send me into a meltdown. No one thought I was autistic, let alone myself.

Masking my ADHD was easier, as people expect women and girls to be flighty and distracted and daydreamy, They're just being silly girls right? But autism. That made me a tom boy. That made me blunt, and awkward and too loud. That made me have strange anxieties, and strange thoughts about the world that made me seem weird to other children, so I started masking heavily. I always put on a happy smile when I met people, made charming jokes and engaged in hours of chit chat and small talk, collapsing in exhaustion afterward. All I wanted to do was talk about sex, or true crime, or science fiction, or psychology, but I contented myself with talk about fashion, and boys and pop singers and popular shows.

Now, at 46, this mask will be a detriment to me getting diagnosed. I constructed it too well. No one believes me. I don't even know how to behave like an autistic person. To me, doing so is social suicide, and will open me up to derision, mockery and exclusion.