#neongodsnetwork

the snooze button gives / me anxiety, i don't / want to disturb him

how did i fall this / fast for someone i can't catch, / and still falling hard

i was told that god / would have answers but no one / taught me how to pray

at this point, i just / want to escape to the sky / beneath the ocean

i'm now drowning in / a floral garden, a sea / full of fading lights

the moon pears out from behind a fan of clouds to stare on at this horror and she weeps unable to recognize a girl she once loved, once poured herself out for like honeyed-milk warm to the touch and taste- I know I am rancid now.

I know I have been for awhile now. Isn’t it only your truth that slips into your dreams? maybe this is all I’ll ever be, all I was ever meant for to be another monster that leaves the skin crawling, but, still, I beg myself to nightmare of something else

As time slithers forward, I notice the people I love exist further and further away. There’s a name

For this: entropy,        dark matter,                holiness without light. I wanted to tame love

So it ran away from me, wanted to tame desire like the wild animal it makes of us,

How I fester in my own quiet yearning, filling the distance between us with memories we haven’t yet made.

Have not; will not. I am miles away from everyone I love even when I hold them. Is the space between bodies infinite,

Or is it the gap between myself and who I claim to be? I have no answers, only memories: once,

When we were young enough to love like bodies do, I asked you if we would always know each other like this,

Invulnerable and lovely. You stared at me; heatless, inchoate, a stillborn star in the making. I knew then that our lives would always feel like this,

God, how do we shine this dark? 

The world is a blinding star on the verge of collapse. Only makes sense that we should follow suit, might as well make the most of it. 

Aren’t you sick of eating sadness? I want to eat fire.