#mystateofmind

Do you ever feel like you think too much to the point where you’re thinking about nothing anymore? It’s weird, I know, but that’s how I feel these days. It’s like I’m floating. I want to do things, but I don’t know what exactly. I have an idea, but I also don’t know what the idea actually is. Is it the lack of sleep or the fear of being seen? I find myself watching a lot of TikTok videos about productivity, which is actually counterintuitive because I end up scrolling to the point where the evening has passed, and I realize I’ve done nothing productive — I like to think of it as getting inspiration to make myself feel better about doing nothing. Saving videos and categorizing them into different folders like style, career, and fitness. Maybe if I organize them this way, I can feel a sense of accomplishment. I keep trying to come up with a strategy for how to move my life forward, but there are so many different aspects of life that I just can’t choose what to focus on: what’s my career trajectory, where am I going to live in five years, can I still call myself an artist if I haven’t shown my work on the internet, should I write a screenplay and pitch it, where can I buy a house that has enough space for a ceramic studio, should I pursue becoming a filmmaker again, is it possible for me to write a cookbook, what if I wrote a comedy and pitched it to Seth Rogen (if that’s even possible) because he’s also Canadian and maybe he’ll see my potential, should I go back to school and become an interior designer instead, is it possible to rekindle friendships with people who now live on the other side of the country, how can I actually make new lasting friendships in my late twenties to early thirties and not feel left out when other friends hang out without me, what is actually stopping me from working out, can I look in the mirror and feel content with how I look? Like I said, I think too much.