#mypersonal

Ok, so I have something to confess.

I've been starving myself.

Yes I know it's bad. I actually cannot believe my stupidity.

I passed out more than 3 times today from overexerting myself and malnourishment. It was awful.

I passed out after only walking my dog around a block outside my house. Its fucking -4°c outside in the UK. Its literally the worst cold we have had for over 30 years and I passed out in it for 10 mins.

I still feel shaky as I type this and I still can't feel my hands 100%. This happened 2 hours ago.

Tbh, I still hate my body.

But its better than starving myself.

I want to lose weight, yes. But starving myself and depriving my body of vital nutrients won't fix that at all. In fact, it'll probably harm it more.

If you have an eating disorder or if you want to try starving yourself or restricting your calorie consumption PLEASE DON'T AND PLEASE SEEK HELP AND RECOVERY.

I got myself out of a shallow rabbit hole that I had created over 4 days.

If I'm passing out like that and fainting repeatedly only 4 days into restricting my diet, I could kill myself.

Please don't do that to yourself.

No matter what the thinspo blogs and pro ana blogs tell you DO NOT start starving yourself.