#muse[echo]

@damnfoxed​​  said:  let’s do each other a favor and not show ourselves to each other  ( meme )

Her  patience had  reached  unbelievable lengths:  one  snide  remark  after the  other,  all  accepted without  protest. The  pressure  of  accumulated  offence, though  had  added insult  to  injury: finally  igniting  that fire  of  frustration, she’d  been  tainting for  WEEKS.  Fox  hated  her, she  was  aware: one  of  the  many  people that  couldn’t  comprehend the  reason  behind her  survival.  The  reason  she’d joined  them,  eaten their  food,  breathed their  air.  

He’s lashing out. He knows he is. Bellamy’s chest tightens at the sound of her voice but he doesn’t look up from the drink in his hand. Instead his fingers tighten around the glass as he lifts it to his lips. He takes a slow sip, savoring the way it burns as it runs down his throat. It does little to dull the ache he feels at the way she’s looking at him when he finally lifts his gaze but he schools his expression. It would be so easy to apologize; to wind his arms around her, whispering soft encouragements in her ear. Somehow he can’t bring himself to do it. Something he’s certain he’ll come to regret in the next few days when he’s not feeling sorry for himself. Instead he utters back... “You and me both.” before he tosses the rest of his drink back with a wince. 

There was a slow nod being given to the other, corner of his lips up in a crooked grin for a split second before he grasped her shoulder, gave it a squeeze. “ Same to you, Echo... Wherever you’re going right now with white locks, stay safe. Definitely stay alive. I expect you, Bellamy and Octavia to return back to Sanctum in one piece, okay? “ he commented, patting her shoulder twice before letting his arm fall, a contemplative look to his face.

“ Look, I could always come along with you guys. Just to make sure, you know. “ he added, knowing full well it wasn’t really an option with his current ‘prime’ position.

Leaving  them behind,  especially,  when  Sanctum  was a  dangerous  place, had  felt  wrong. The  idea  of letting  two  of their  people  pull a  performance  and hope  for  the best  - that  they didn’t  get  murdered in  other  words- had  felt  insane. Their  options  were  trivial,  though ; someone  had  to  do  the  scouting part.  And  someone had  to  go on  that  trip.  “ Nothing  is  happening to  us. “  The words  came  out  certain  - maybe  it  wasn’t just  John  and Emori  that  were good  actors-.

Dark eyes glanced over at the other woman, appreciating the fact she didn’t pry. Echo never really did, unlike some of their comrades. It was nice to be able to set a boundary and know it wouldn’t be pushed unless it was absolutely necessary. Feelings talk didn’t fall under necessary right now. There was a laundry list of shit they needed to figure out before they could call this place home. Personally, this entire establishment was giving her major cult vibes. Her mind couldn’t help but go back to the whole City of Light Fiasco. After that, it was understandable why she’d have a health paranoid over organized religion. “Yeah,” A quiet laugh left her lips at the mention of Murphy and alcohol. Guilt curled in her stomach too, killing the amusement. They almost lost him for good. As much as she poked and prodded him, Murphy was family. She wasn’t sure if the excessive drinking came from accessibility, what he went through, or both but it was still a little concerning. Though, Raven couldn’t particularly judge considering she did roughly the same after Shaw’s death. 

“We should probably get a head start.” Leaning into the other brunette and nudging her gently as she gestured towards the exit, hoping they stayed long enough. 

Boundaries  were  significant,  when  it  came  to  communication.  One  couldn’t  overstep  the  mark  by  disregarding  the  other’s  privacy.  Not  to  mention  that  emotions  were  an  issue  that  not  everyone  was  comfortable  with.  This  was  something  that  Bellamy  couldn’t  understand  -the  source  of  their  arguments-;  everyone  expressed  their  feelings  differently.  Everyone  dealt  with  difficulties  in  their  own  personal  way.  There  was  no  right  and  wrong  way;  it  was  a  personal  matter.  And  for  all  she’d  seen,  Raven  was  not  one  for  sentimentalities  either.  Another  reason  why  she  hadn’t  pushed  her.  This  place  was    utopian  - or  well,  so  had  it  looked  liked  at  first-.  It  didn’t  mean  that  they  weren’t  fighting  with  their  demons  in  the  mean  time.

The only time she’s ever seen funerals were on the few movies she’d been able to watch on the ark as a child. The whole idea of having a ceremony and seeing the dead body was really…uncomfortable to her? On the ark, most people ended up getting floated or, if they did pass naturally, only their close families were allowed to watch the body be floated. It wasn’t until they reached the ground and started burying their dead, that’s the closest thing they got to a funeral until they started joining the grounders in burning their dead. This though? People gathering to cry and talk about the dead, spending an entire few hours to honoring them was strange. Sweet, but strange. Raven watched as a few children laid some flowers by the painting of the women they killed in space, feeling guilt churn in her stomach. They were defending themselves but it was still someone important to the people of Sanctum.  

“Hm?” Arms crossed over her chest subconsciously as she shifter her gaze over to the warrior. Her mood immediately dropped as she was reminded of Shaw, who was currently buried just inside the radiation shield. Shoving her grief further down into the proverbial bottle, Raven tried her hardest to shrug nonchalantly. “I’m as alright as I’m gonna be.” It wasn’t exactly like she had a choice. 

An  echoless  silence spread  across  the place  ;  thick and  overwhelming .  Of course ,  she  couldn’t have  expected  a different  reaction .  Emotions , sentimentality  were  traits only  few  had practiced .  Feelings  were weakness  - or  so had  the  Azgeda people  taught  her - . Or  so  had life  itself  proven. One  moment  of  irrationality  and lethal  mistakes  could be  made  -  destructive  decisions could  be  taken -. And  in  times like  the  current , in  battles   and wars ,  love   was merely  a  death warrant  -  an  unavoidable downfall -.  So ,  Raven’s  answer was  reasonable  ,   common ;  even now  that  they were  seemingly  calm and  safe ,   protected and  well ,  serenity was  NOT  achievable.

She wouldn’t have blamed Echo ( privately of course, in the dark of the night when everyone slept and she was alone with her own behavior and her own thoughts ) for snapping back, striking back even, at her response. But the warrior did neither, simply waited for Fox to follow up sharp words with slightly less sharp ones and what’s more: she accepted the less sharp words. 

WHY? What was her game? What was she playing trying to make nice with Fox? Did she think that if she waited Fox out eventually the hatred would fade? Die, even? The ice grounder would be waiting 50 lifetimes for that, for the 50 delinquent lives HER people had snuffed out between the dropship camp and the mountain. Forgiveness was not something Fox planned on her horizon. 

But still she had agreed to help ( why she had no idea, maybe she was just tired of being angry ALL the time… maybe she could stop for an hour and pick up after the task, maybe it would give her soul a chance to breath ) and Echo had accepted her help. She nodded. “I’ve messed with the switchboards sometimes.” Her dad used to let her play with spare ones he was tasked with fixing on occasion, used to time her just to keep her on her toes. She won, she got dinner. She lost, she stole or went hungry. 

Always high stakes with her dad. 

“Want to lead the way?” She asked, trying to keep the bite out of her tone, realizing it was easier said than done. When had her default tone become angry and bitter and biting? She didn’t like that, no more than she knew how to fix it. 

The  unawareness of  her  surroundings was  a  disadvantage rather  unprecedented  . The  unfamiliarity  , when  it  came to  the  skaikru methods  and  daily routine  was  a  difficulty  rather unsettling .  And  the  tension  that grew  thicker  and thicker  between  the members  of  the group was  merely  another addition  to  the already  long  list of  unsettling  incidents .  There was  a  rather heated  history  between the  most  that rejoicing  in  one moment  of  serenity was  almost  impossible . But  then ,  if she  hadn’t  resisted the  temptation  to lash  out ,  react , how  would  she have  helped  with  sustaining  peace  ?    How would  she  have  been any  better ?  How would  she have  offered  a sort  of  calmness ?  

“  Here  “   She  beckoned her  to  follow ;  at  least, she  was  slowly but  steadily  getting better  and  better at  spotting  the  various parts  of  the ring ;  at  memorizing  which side  was  whose, where  certain  objects could  be  found , where  the whole  machinery was  located .    She’d  been a  spy  ;  orientation ,  adjustment  had always  been  a must.