MultiMuse

BEING LEFT ❛  wait! you can't just leave me here alone!  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to live in a world where i'm all alone.  ❜ ❛  everyone i've ever loved has either left or died.  ❜ ❛  i'm not yet ready for it to end.  ❜ ❛  will we ever see each other again?  ❜ ❛  please! you promised! you promised you'd never leave.  ❜ ❛  if you leave now, i'll never forgive you.  ❜ ❛  are you really going to leave after everything we've been through?  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to keep on like before when you're not here anymore?  ❜ ❛  i knew this day would come, but i hoped it wouldn't be today.  ❜ ❛  please don't go. not yet. just stay a little longer ...  ❜ ❛  don't just walk away. say something, anything, before you go.  ❜ ❛  so that's it? you're just ... gone?  ❜ ❛  you can't just walk away like none of this meant anything!  ❜ ❛  why does everyone i love always leave?  ❜ ❛  i should've known better than to think you'd stay.  ❜ ❛  is it really that easy for you to walk away?  ❜ ❛  you said we'd face the world together. now i have to face it alone.  ❜ ❛  if you're going, at least look me in the eyes and say goodbye.  ❜ ❛  i don't have the strength to watch you walk away again.  ❜

LEAVING ❛  i'm sorry, but i cannot stay here any longer.  ❜ ❛  for once, i'm trying to do the right thing.  ❜ ❛  you don't need me here anymore. you've always been stronger on your own.  ❜ ❛  i wish staying was enough. i really do.  ❜ ❛  don't look at me like that. if i don't walk away now, i never will.  ❜ ❛  one day, you'll understand why i have to walk away.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could stay, but this isn't my place anymore.  ❜ ❛  don't wait for me. i don't know when ... if i'll be back.  ❜ ❛  i wish there was another way. but there isn't.  ❜ ❛  this isn't goodbye because i don't care. it's because i do. too much.  ❜ ❛  this goodbye is the hardest thing i've ever had to do.  ❜ ❛  i'm leaving because i love you too much to keep hurting you.  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry i couldn't be what you needed me to be.  ❜ ❛  i have to go find who i am without all this.  ❜ ❛  just because i'm leaving doesn't mean i stopped caring.  ❜ ❛  i'm not running. i'm just done waiting.  ❜ ❛  every step i take away from here is breaking me.  ❜ ❛  i can't keep pretending this place feels like home.  ❜ ❛  the hardest part isn't leaving. it's knowing you'll be here when i'm not.  ❜ ❛  sometimes goodybe is the kindest thing we can say.  ❜

it   made   her   stomach   turn...   so   sick   with   guilt   that   felt   too   heavy   to   carry.   guilt   over   losing   her   baby.   over   the   divorce.   over   failing   julie   &   ethan.   over   never   doing   enough.   &   now,   maybe,   for   pushing   too   far.   guilty   for   trying   to   deny   any   of   it   when   so   many   people   had   died   because   of   those   fucking   monsters   that   came   out   every   single   night.   &   there   was   more   —   so   much   more   —   waiting   to   crash   over   her   with   the   force   of   a   current   if   she   let   those   thoughts   crack   wide   open.   a   door   jade   hadn't   just   opened,   but   accepted   without   looking   back,   it   seemed...

❝   i'm   not   going   to   give   up.   ❞   tabitha   shook   her   head.   whatever   it   had   been   —   some   trick   or   not   —   she'd   made   it   out   once   already.   &   she   could   at   least   try   to   get   some   of   the   others   out   of   here,   too.   but   how   was   she   supposed   to   keep   her   children   safe?   what   was   the   possibility   this   whole   chaos   did   nothing   but   actually   pushed   them   into   something   that   would   only   get   them   all   killed?   tabitha   sank   into   a   squat,   burying   her   face   in   both   hands,   her   fingers   tangling   tightly   in   her   hair.   after   a   few   deep   breaths,   she   finally   looked   back   at   jade.   her   eyes   were   glossy   again,   one   hand   pressed   tightly   against   her   lips.   ❝   how   can   you   be   so   calm?   ❞   she   asked.   ❝   how   can   you   just   stand   there   &   accept   it   like   it's   fact...   with   all   its—   ❞   with   all   its   implications.   she   couldn't   bring   herself   to   say   it   out   loud.   did   he   really   believe   they'd   shared...   what?   hundreds?   thousands?   of   lifetimes   together?   that   they'd   once   had   a   little   girl   together.   because   of...   whatever   force   could've   bound   them   together   through   an   endless   cycle   of   lifetimes?   it   sounded   completely   fucking   ridiculous.   every   rational   part   of   her   mind   screamed   in   defiance.

❝ I  am  not . ❞  Was  the  only  answer  he  managed  to  deliver.  He  was  terrified.  Having  the  whole  town,  all  these  souls,  depending  on  whether  they  understood  the  puzzle  and  solved  it  on  time,  was  far  from  peaceful  vacation  time.  However,  what  was  the  alternative ?  Hide  away ?  Act  like  nothing  was  real ?  Panic  and  bury  himself  in  idleness ?  He  would  be  condemning  everyone  to  certain  death  -  including  himself.  ❝ And  it’s  not  easy…  Otherwise  we  wouldn’t  keep  failing,  would  we ? ❞  So  many  lifetimes  had  they  spent  trying,  so  many  different  versions  of  the  same  exact  story.  Had  they  ever  approached  the  solution ?  had  they  ever  gotten  so  close  to  the  answers ?  And  then,  what ?  What  mistake  did  they  keep  repeating  that’d  led  them  to  this  pile  of  failures ?

❝   oh   yeah?   ❞   she   gasped,   her   voice   cracked   beyond   anything   he'd   just   described,   even   though   the   sheer   desperation   to   push   it   to   its   end   had   nudged   at   her   just   as   instantly.   ❝   it's   as   far   as   it   got   us...   ❞   with   jim's   body   shred   to   pieces.   with   her   children's   cries   &   screams   still   ringing   in   her   ears.   what   else   could   she   do   than   to   push   back?   ❝   he   was   right...   he   was   right   i   shouldn't   have   listened,   i   fucking   shouldn't   have   felt   encouraged   by   you...   ❞

Still,  her  words  made  something  inside   him  ache.  How  many  times  had  she  called  him  selfish ?  Arrogant ?  A  child ?  How  many  times  had  they  insulted  each  other ?  Shouted ?  It  felt  different  now.  The  fact  Jim  had  died  because  of  something  he  had  done…  Tabitha  had  every  right  to  hate  him,  to  accuse  him,  maybe  she  was  even  right  in  some  way.  However,  they  couldn’t  change  the  past.  They  couldn’t  bring  Jim  back.  But  they  could  make  his  death  count.   ❝ And  then  what ? ❞  He  asked  quietly.   ❝ We  would  run  out  of  time,  die,  return,  and then  what ? ❞  This  was  a  neverending  circle,  an  eternal  torture  they  would  never  evade unless  they  broke  it.

❛⠀all those people you hurt, you— you sacrificed — ❜ although sacrificial seemed, almost, like the cause might be honourable, when jayce knows the truth. knows the extent of the harm, the intent behind it. there is nothing here that has been done for the name of the better : only the want to ruin.

or maybe that's the point. maybe, when you're not consistently listened to, you resort to the extreme. violence begets violence begets violence. jayce should have never taken mel medarda's hand. he'd wanted a world that was safe, that was visionary. and all he seemed to birth is blood. ❛⠀was it worth it ? did you get what you wanted ? ❜

 ❝ I –  I  didn’t … It  wasn’t  supposed  to  happen  like  that.  ❞  A  lie.  Maybe.  She  wasn’t  sure  anymore.    Her  gaze  slipped  away  from  him,  taking  in  the  aftermath  of  the  attack.  How  much  more  blood  till  everything  stopped ?  How  much  more  pain  till  there  was  finally  a  break ?  She  had  wanted  to  help  her  people  -  and  yet,  it’d  gone  way  too  far. 

She did follow him though. Because something felt eerie. She couldn't put her finger on it, just knew that the entire atomosphere was eerie and strange. Truthfully, something about the entire small town was off. At first she had dismissed it to be the regular small town energy, but now? With whatever i helvete dette var, she was certain. Something wasn't right.

 ❝ Kall  meg  Fjor  fra  nå  av.  ❞  The  last  thing  he  needed  was  for  anyone to start asking questions.  Of  course,  it  would  have  been  simple  enough to  pretend  he  had  never  seen her  before,  to  dismiss  the  new student  as  confused  -  or  even  crazy.  But  Saxa  had  a habit  of  involving  herself  in  matters  that  did not concern her, and risking Vilde’s life for the sake of the brief amusement he had allowed himself was most definitely not part of the plan.

tabitha   gripped   the   edge   of   the   counter,   chewing   hard   on   her   lip.   fuck   it.   she   shook   her   head   before   firing   right   back.   ❝   well,   i'm   telling   you   right   fucking   now!   ❞   hasn't   been   an   actual   proof   of   good   faith   to   have   assumed   he   knew   about   the   radio   in   the   first   place?   ❝   why   the   hell   didn't   you   even   think   to   ask   if   anything   happened?   even   if   you   don't   give   a   fuck   about   asking   how   he's   doing   after   spending   the   whole   damn   night   wondering   if   he'd   get   ripped   apart!   ❞   now   it   was   her   turn   to   remember   her   boy   was   upstairs.   the   last   thing   he   should   ever   hear   was   his   mother   shouting   that   his   dad   might've   been   killed   in   the   most   gruesome   way   imaginable.   tabitha   pressed   her   fingers   against   her   eyes,   rubbing   hard   as   if   she   could   force   back   both   the   emotions   &   the   headache   pounding   behind   them.   an   attempt   to   keep   herself   from   walking   away   &   leaving   jade   alone   with   all   his   questions. 

It  was  then  that  she  continued.  Every  sentence  that  came  after  the  other,  adding  more  and  more  questions  to  an already  huge  pile  of  them.  They’d  all  known  that  electricity  was  a  mystery  in  this  town,  however  wires  that  simply  dangled ?  Caves   and  paintings  under  the  house ?  Monsters  sleeping  in  them ?  It  was  a  lot.  And  if  he’d  been  confused  about  this  place  a  few  minutes  ago,  now  he  was  close  to  losing  his  mind.

a mix of sentence starters that are very domestic and very fluffy

“You’re using me as a pillow again.”

“You keep putting your head in my lap.”

“Who taught you how to hold a knife like that?”

“You have flour on your nose.”

“I woke up this morning and you were talking in your sleep again. Apparently I owe you twenty dollars and you were very upset about it.”

“You’re already asleep, aren’t you?”

“Come here for a second.” “What?” “Nothing. I just wanted a hug.”

“You’re clingy today.”

“I don’t care that it’s three in the morning. If you want pancakes, we’re making pancakes.”

“Let me take care of it.”

“So you weren’t waiting up for me?” “No. I just happened to be awake, sitting on the couch, with your favorite snack and a movie ready.”

“You can try all you want to get me out from under these blankets. Not gonna work.”

“Have you seen my—” “It’s on the dining table.” “How did you know what I was looking for?” “Because this happens every morning.”

“I saved the last one for you.”

“I picked this up because it reminded me of you. Is that too cheesy?”

“You’re staying, right?”

“You deserve a day off.”

“You drive me absolutely insane sometimes. I hope you know that’s a compliment.”

Subconciously, she took a step back as he approached her. She was confused. Why was he here? It wasn't as if it was an hour drive from Oslo. No. More like five hours. The blond held her breath, trying to control the oncoming panic attack. She felt nauseous and dizzy. Why was he here?

"H-hva er greia? Hvorfor kaller hun deg Fjor?" She whispered eventually. She just wanted to turn on her heel. Was this some stupid prank? She knew Chris was rich, she knew that he liked to have fun. Was this some sort of sick joke?

She was really certain that Chris was supposed to be - Well. Vilde realized she didn't exactly know much about him. Of course, they hadn't been close. But she knew A LOT about EVERYONE. Except him. Apparently.

❝ Skal vi gå en tur? ❞  he  suggested, his  tone light enough to sound almost careless.  Vilde panicking  in  front of  the entire  school  would only draw attention -  attention he had no interest in  dealing  with. And  if  Saxa  realised  the  new girl  was  not  nearly  as new to him as she appeared, the  problem  would  follow  him  straight  home.

What  was  there  to  tell  her,  though ?  How  was  he  supposed  to  explain  the  inexplicable ?  Claim  that  he  had  moved  too ?  Then,  why  the  new  name ?  Why  would  everyone  seem  to  know  him  so  well ?

tabitha   set   the   glass   aside   &   leaned   her   full   weight   against   the   counter.   her   brows   knit   together   as   she   watched   jade's   expression   shift.   it   didn't   take   long   to   realize   that,   unless   jade   had   bothered   checking   on   her   husband   at   the   clinic,   there   was   no   way   he'd   know   everything   that'd   happened.   jim   had   mentioned   only   donna   knew   about   the   voice   on   the   radio.   tabitha   bit   her   tongue   in   order   to   not   deliver   him   further   comments   about   being   one   self-absorbed   asshole.   still,   her   brow   arched   ever   so   softly   as   it   seemed   she'd   gotten   his   full   attention   in   a   matter   of   seconds.   &   truth   be   told,   she   didn't   have   it   in   her   to   keep   something   like   that   from   him   just   to   torture   him.

He  lifted  a  hand, as  though  the  gesture  alone  might  silence  the  thousands  of  thoughts crashing  through  his  mind.  He  needed  to  focus. To  breathe. To  process  any  of  this  without  coming  apart  at  the  seams.  God,  he  needed  a  drink.  This  was  the  only  thing  that  could  stand  between  him  and  insanity.   Still,  he  turned  to  look  at  the  other,  mostly  in  disbelief  rather  than  actual  anger.   ❝ And  you  were  planning  to  tell  me  WHEN  exactly ? ❞ HIs  voice  rose,  but  he  tried  to  control  it  nevertheless.  Oh  this  was  crazy.   This  was  simply… bad.

all are lyrics from the album, the dark (2023) by the band CAMINO. songs are in order.

look who's showing up right now.

thought you had it all worked out.

let me guess, you miss me, you're sorry?

too bad, it's too little, too late.

don't make me say i told you so.

don't make me say the only words i owe you.

i don't wanna be right this time.

you're not gonna fool me twice.

a part of me still thinks you're there.

why am i still hoping you'll call?

what am i missing you for?

it's not like you're missing me.

i go home with distractions.

it's no secret we suck together.

i tell myself that it's for the better.

you're beautiful when you're lying.

keep twisting the knife in.

do what you do, tear me apart.

i can't turn you down to save my life.

i only feel this alive when you're making it hard to breathe.

you'll still be the death of me.

i can't fight you.

i know it's gonna blow up in my face.

if i didn't go near you, my life would be so much clearer.

i've been a little careless with my actions.

i've been a little passive with my passions.

i'm in a place where i'm just gonna let it happen.

you got a way of using my feelings.

you make me think it's always my fault.

i gave everything, gave you everything.

it's not me, it's you.

pack up your baggage and go.

i know i got my share of issues.

i know my love comes with a lot.

apparently, i'm not as hopeless as you thought.

we keep on having all the same stale conversations.

they say we're perfect for each other.

my mama loves you, and all my friends do.

they're all dropping heart emojis in the comments.

from the outside, all of the stars align.

i keep on trying and trying to make it make sense.

i don't understand a word that you say.

i'm on saturn, you're not even in the milky way.

perfect on paper but just not on the same page.

aren't you so tired of trying to fake a connection?

i know that i should be jealous.

it just makes me want you even more.

you're saying all you need to say with your eyes.

whenever you're ready, i'm taking you home.

look at the hearts that you're breaking.

you got the whole room in love with you.

they won't get to see you like i'll see you later.

i know i'll see that dress on the floor.

they get to analyze your every move and fantasize.

you're the reason that i am afraid of the dark.

wide awake, i see shadows of you in my arms.

i think i might have messed up.

somehow you make me say stuff that i never have.

somehow, it kinda feels like home.

i stayed until the morning, usually i go.

lighten up and live a little.

now you've got me in the middle.

i'm in and out of my mind.

i'm feeling for the first time.

got good at being apathetic.

i've said the word, but never meant it.

i thought all my damage was permanent.

i feel like i got wasted.

i can't sleep with someone else.

can't bring myself to let somebody in.

every day is just the same day on repeat.

you're still here when she wears off.

it's a different symptom every day.

stoned off you, now i'm stone-cold sober.

i could find my way to you, even if ihad my eyes closed.

it felt like armageddon, just you me and nobody else.

there  is  sympathy  in  emma's  gaze  –  there  always  is.       she  gets  it.       as  much  as  she  values  freedom  ,  the  idea  of  anything  happening  to  that  kid  makes  her  feel  like  she's  in  a  free-fall  with  an  inevitable  splat  at  the  end.     why  risk  this  rare  time  of  calm  with  an  unknown  where  they  wouldn't  be  at  his  side  ?     she  gets  the  fear.  understands  the  urge  to  handcuff  herself  to  his  side  so  she  could  always  protect  him.        she's  always  only  wanted  what  was  best  for  him.        sometimes  that  means  letting  him  out  of  their  sight  –  even  if  it  sets  off  irrational  abandonment  alarm  bells  in  her  gut.        

she  swallows  the  thoughts  &*  steps  a  bit  closer  ,  head  ducking  just  a  bit  to  find  her  eye-line.     her  arms  cross  ,  but  her  gaze  is  tender.        ❛    you  used  to  ride  horses  when  you  were  young  ,  right  ?      froliced  through  the  hills ?   ❜       a  wry  little  smile  as  she  imagines  regina  in  such  a  way.         ❛    even  cora  gave  you  that  space  to  get  away  for  a  while.     difference  is  henry  actually  wants  to  come  home  after  it.    you  have  a  way  shorter  stick  up  your  ass  than  cora  did  ,  regina.      it's  four  weeks.     not  forever.   ❜

where are you, she asks, and tyler swallows. he looks at the camp capri's set, the other two hyde members tyler still has fuck all idea from where capri pulled.

[ text : saved ] i'm as clueless as you are [ text : saved ] but still not gonna make it easy for u to find me, wednesday. sorry

maybe, despite it all, tyler is still biting onto hope. fuck, he thinks almost humourlessly. he's gonna die like this, thinking maybe he's still redeemable when he's covered in blood.

and then—

[ text : saved ] tbh i dont even rlly care what happens to me

and i know how important she is to you, he doesn't text. doesn't say. couldn't. wouldn't know what it would mean.

[ Text ]:  I  didn’t  save  you.

She  types  and  forces  herself  to  believe  her  own  excuse.

[ Text ]:  Dying  is  the  easy  way  out,  and  you  don’t  deserve  it.  

She  stares at  the  glowing  screen  as  if  it  is  another  crime  scene. Motive. Opportunity. Intent. The  evidence  refused  to  align.  It’d  been  a  long  time  since  they’d  last  spoken  -  their  encounters  far  from  peaceful.  Yet  here  he  was,  reaching  out  to  her. It  only  added  more  questions  to  an  already  impossible  pile. 

[ Text ]:  Why did  you  text  me ?