#mud phud

Very disturbed by the lack of PPE I am using in lab. Mostly just not using goggles anymore. blarg. Flashbacks of ending up in the ER last year from pressurized vehicle freak accident.

Also the things I do are so theoretical, none of that clinical transition I was hoping for (on the bright side, it can be used in any kind of cancer therapy?)

I feel like this might have been a mistake and I should have waited to ask for an imaging expt that is more clinically focused.

Of course, it doesn't help that interviews = lots and lots of stress. Which means I'm surging with a bunch of stress hormones. And coming home means that I'm not in hyper-stress mode. So the post-interview crash sucks a lot too.

Oregon is a great place. It's absolutely beautiful, with some very nice, very great, very supportive people and faculty, and it would be an absolute joy to be a part of their program. I'm sure I would get a quality education and training there, and it would prepare me for what I want to do with my life. 

But it's not the place for me, and I don't think it's a place that looks for youngsters like me, who go to MD/PhD straight out of college. It's a place for adults, and they made it clear from the first hour I spent at the interviews. 

And I don't think I've made the cut to be an adult there. I'm too young. Too green. I'm life is not settled down enough to make Oregon my home.