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me when the smut is nasty
me when the smut is slow, sensual, and full of love
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Idk but I kinda it funny if somehow zeus and poseidon had like a fight,,, not fight fight, but an argument fight that leads to storms and earthquakes... And percy mid fight just gets time travelled by accident with something,,, 😭 and now zeus + poseidon somehow had a kid 🧍 and genuinely you'd think he'd be like the unholy mix of zeus and poseidon that,,, from what all the gods know should be the worst fucking thing to ever exist... And now Percy's just like standing 🧍 in between them,,, their argument has stopped to stare at him. A newly ascended god.
And it's literally in a council so everybody from the 12 + hestia somewhere just see z+p spawn a new god.
And the thing is he's like the most reasonable fucking person ever in ancient greece (especially the gods) because obvi modern sensibilities...
Apollo is smitten because genuinely who would be into Percy like that,,,
But at first it was lust,,, saw this nymph like hottie and he needed that,,, then spent time with percy and??? He's so sassy? Sweet? Kind? Loving? A great warrior? Protective of his children??? (He protects demigods and mortals in general, especially those really kind to him but he's in delulu land rn) He'd be an amazing wife,,, oh look his children love him,,, kids love him!!! As a protector of youth how could he not be attracted to that?! Oh his kids are calling him mother now??? Oh perfect!!!
So he's gonna be on the deep end guys
Like I need dramaaaa,,, APOLLO WANTS HIS NEW HALF-BROTHER??? Poseidon and Zeus fucked??? s4s (slut for slut) era??? Hades got left alone in the brother bonding?!?! (He was happy for that actually)
Hera to Zeus: I knew you had low standards but literally fucking our brother????
Zeus:🧍*standing because he did not fuck Poseidon,,, He genuinely doesn't fucking know how he made a kid with him mid argument, and just saw the kid spawn there*
And the whole of Olympus is just set a blaze with rumors about z+p fucking and how they somehow created a child,,, and how it got alllll the bad aspects of both fathers...
Then they see him and they're just like...
He was a product of those two??? He's a fucking saint,,, he's sweet and polite?!?!??
He's not ugly??? He's fucking beautiful and literally how did they make him by accident??? It's like he was made with auch painstaking care and precision????
He's not a slut like his fathers?????
Well, he is a menace,,, but compared to his fathers and how they act he's genuinely a fucking saint???
Lester when Percy Iris messages him to ask how his trials are going.
This, but it’s Apollo talking about the demigods (monkeys) in Camp Half-Blood (circus) and Percy (ringleader)
Somewhere in the Aphrodities au
During the Orestia
Apollo: Miss Aphrodities, as the best wife in the world—
Hera, glaring: And who decided on that?
Zeus: Apollo
Apollo: My apologies, Miss Aphrodities as the wife everyone has wanted at some point in their lives, what do you think about Clymnestra murdering her husband?
Perse, on stand: I feel like she was too merciful
Orestes, the defendant: Excuse me?
Apollo, glaring at him: *hisses* Not now *Turns to Perse* Would the beautiful woman care to elaborate?
Perse, smiles apologetic at Orestes: Of course, apologies to the son who lost his father as no child should have to go through that, but personally speaking *Face growing cold* If my husband had promised our daughter a wedding with the greatest heroes of our time*Ignoring Ares loudly saying 'She fucking hated Achiles'* but it was all a front to sacrifice her because he could simply NOT resist hunting in sacred lands and then he dared to come back home as if nothing happened... well, I'd no longer have a husband and there'd be another limbless corpse rotting in Tartarus
Apollo, her husband: *Sighs dreamly* We should have a few daughters, I already can imagine you with them—*Shaking his head* Sorry, so, Miss Aphrodities, you agree with that Clymnestra killed her husband for a good reason *Perse nods* Then do you agree with her treatment of her remaining children?
Perse, shakes her head: No
Apollo, nodding: Thank you, my love *Turns to the rest of court* So, although we cannot fault Clymnestra for her reaction to what her husband had done, this matter cannot intefer with the defendant's judgement, as he did not simply avenge his father, but also the treatment he and his remaining siblings went through
Zeus, surprised: Huh, he actually had a point
Hera, dryly: And here I thought he just wanted a reason to gawk at his own wife
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For the past two weeks I've been imagining an Ascended Percy but is Sally was born over three thousand years ago—so Percy ascended a little over three thousand years ago. He's an established god by the start of the series. Most don't like talking about him because he's considered volatile and dangerous *cough* won't/has the strength not to do a damn thing Zeus says *cough* *cough*, he helps run Camp Half Blood.
Zeus: Okay, we need someone to run Camp Half Blood with Chiron—
Percy: *Kicks Down The Doors* I VOLUNTEER!
Poseidon: ...Percy!? It's been centuries—!
Percy: And it will be at least another, I'm still not talking to you (–_–)
•••
Percy: *Polishing Riptide* I was flooding cities before your mother's bloodline was even a thing, don't you find that odd?
Luke: *Drunk off his ass* Can you sharpen that on me?
•••
Hermes: *Slams a bottle of rosé on Apollo's desk* ...
Apollo: ...What happened...?
Hermes: ...Three thousand, one hundred, and nineteen years of courting him—fighting with you over him...And he picked my. fucking. son...
Apollo: You're shitting me right...?
Hermes: ...*Cracks open the bottle and starts pouring them both a glass*
Apollo: TELL ME YOU'RE SHITTING ME—
percy definitely comes home to various demigods (and some gods) in his house. gets home from the store and nico's passed out in his bed looking completely dead to the world so he packs him up a lunch and leaves it with nico's stuff because he knows he'll leave as soon as possible. comes home and annabeth and rachel are trying to convince his mom to let rachel buy land to build her and paul their dream home (designed by annabeth). taking a shower, listening to music and he hears apollo on the other side of the curtain start singing along and has to tell him to at least be on the other side of the door please. comes out of his room to go to work and hermes is dropping off a package for estelle (it's a book about the stars and constellations. it's her name and he must do his duty as the god of astronomy) and stopping to chat with paul.
