Today was much much better than yesterday. Most of it was dedicated to moving the monster bed. Hiring movers was a huge help. They handled it really well, and I am so relieved to have that taken care of. Also spent quite a bit of time with my ex afterwards. We met to talk about practical stuff regarding splitting up (which is going swimmingly asside from the whole splitting up part). It was very pleasant and seemingly stress free. But my body is telling me something my mind is not acknowledging: I am really really stressed out. And it gets way worse around him. My digestion and sleep have been just terrible over the last few weeks, but my digestion gets worse when I see my ex. And even more noticable, I start having trouble breathing. It's more like mild asthma (which I have anyway). I have to find ways to wrap it up and get away from him after a few hours. It has been very consistent and very noticable. So even when I think that our interactions went well and that I'm not feeling too upset or stressed out about it, my body is telling me that I am really reacting. It's strange to have a stress reaction that's purely physical instead of emotional, but that's the best way I can describe what's happening. Not sure what to do about it. I still want to see my ex, although my hopes for such things are changing. I still need to see my ex, since we have important stuff to take care of. Probably it doesn't really need action, besides not being around him too long and general monitoring it to make sure it doesn't become a bigger problem. Mostly, I think it just needs to be acknowledged that I am reacting that way.

I'm friend with the monster that's under my bed.