#mod kp

I’ll let the others add on to this but for me, I think the top five that I would love to see around on the dash would have to be Elora Ackerman, Samantha Barnes, Marcella Lynwood, Isabella Grant & Derek Tatum. 

Hi Anon,

Although I am Demi, rather than Grace or Ace, the best I answer I can give you is that it will take time to go through your journey of self discovery.

Asexual people do not, cannot, feel sexual attraction. Under any circumstances. (Note that sexual attraction and libido are separate things. One can have a high or low libido independent of whether they ever feel attracted to a specific person or not. This is also separate from romantic attraction, which is what genders you love in a relationship sense, and also separate from whether someone is sex positive, sex repulsed, or sex neutral, which is your opinion/feelings towards the concept/act of sex. Some aces are sex positive; they like the idea of it (and possibly even like the act if they have high libido - like being hungry but nothing in the fridge is ever appealing to them - they may eventually eat something anyway), but they still simply never feel that attraction to anyone.)

Graysexual people, Gray-Asexual / Grace, rarely feel sexual attraction. The majority of the time, their experience is just like an Asexual person. But rarely, seemingly randomly, they may experience sexual attraction. The difference is that Graces are capable of sexual attraction, however rare it may be.

Demisexual people, also on the Ace spectrum, don't experience any sexual attraction until a close bond is formed with a person. So, like Grace people, their general experience is like an ace person most of the time, feeling no sexual attraction to anyone; but the difference is that a Demi person may feel/is capable of feeling sexual attraction to someone only after becoming emotionally close to them - however often and continuous, or rare and sporadic that may be for each individual. Grace people, on the other hand, don't have an emotional bond requirement for sexual attraction to occur - it just happens rarely.

If you've never experienced sexual attraction, you may not be sure whether you are Grace or Ace. You may not be sure whether you've experienced sexual attraction or not. If it's something that happened that one time or something, you would have no frame of reference to know. The only way you're going to find out if you are Grace or Ace is through time. Seeing if you ever experience sexual attraction.

The good thing is, that it's ok to change labels as you discover more about yourself. You can call yourself Ace now if you want to, and then if you ever feel sexual attraction, you could decide to call yourself Grace from that point on. You could call yourself Grace if that fits better, and then if you don't experience sexual attraction after a good while, you might decide to just call yourself Ace. That's ok too. Whatever feels right to you.

If you are a sex positive or sex neutral Ace, then you may be wondering if you are Grace simply because you feel open to the idea of sex and are sort of waiting for those attractions to possibly develop at some point in time. That is a totally normal way to feel. Many Asexual people start out waiting for these feelings everyone is talking about to suddenly happen to them someday, and when they don't, then they figure out they are Ace.

As I said at the beginning, this will take time. But you can identify whichever way you feel most comfortable, and feel free to change it with time if another label feels better.

Best of luck in your self discovery! ❤️💜🖤

Happy Monday everyone!

I'm your new mod, KP.

A few facts about me:

I'm a lawyer in the U.S.

I like drawing, writing poetry, and writing music.

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Aspec identity: Demisexual