#missing loved ones

Hey, guys. It’s Weeby. Five years ago today, my maternal grandfather died. And I don’t know…it just hit me harder than usual today. We called him Papa. His death shook our entire family to the core, we lost our rock, our heart. We’ve healed over time of course, but the pain of losing him will never fully go away.

When my aunt first came out as a lesbian, the first thing he did was to hug her and tell her how much he loved her. (And when she got married to her wife, he walked her down the aisle with the biggest smile on his face.) The same thing happened when I came out as asexual, he said I can be whoever I am and he’ll still love me.

When I was diagnosed with autism as a child, he was the first one of the family besides my parents to learn as much as he could. Whenever I needed to leave because a situation was overwhelming for me, he would be the one to drive me home and help me calm down. He knew all of the things that triggered me and made his house a safe space for me. On every birthday and holiday got me new stim and fidget toys because he knew how much they helped me. He knew that I was different but he didn’t love me any less for it, he accepted me.

It feels like he’s only been gone for a day and at the same time like he’s been gone forever. I guess what I really mean to say is: I love you papa, and I miss you so, so much. I wish you could still be here.

Mina: "Kirishima, what can I do to help?" Mina asks as she leads up against a door.

Kirishima: on the opposite side of the door. "Go get Aizawa. Ju..."

Mina: "Okay. I'll go get him now."

Her feet could be heard running down the hallway.

Kirishima: leaning against a wall with his head resting against his arms. "Get a hold of yourself. Now isn't the time." He mutters to himself and squeezes his eyes shut. A memory of a hand patting his back and strong arms holding him causes hit tears to roll down his cheeks. His breath hitches and he bits his lower lip.

A soft knock from the door.

Aizawa: "Kirishima." He spoke from the outside the door.

Kirishima: glances at the door before wiping his eyes and unlocking the door. He knew his eyes were puffy and red, but he had asked Mina to get Aizawa. He couldn't just ignore the man.

Aziawa: walks into the room and looks Kirishima over. It wasn't often that anyone seen the red head like this. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

Kirishima: "I can't stop thinking of my dad. All day...." fresh tears forms and start spilling over, "I miss his hugs and his jokes. I miss being able to talk to him." He wipes his tears away in vain. "It's been so long. Everyone keeps saying "it gets easier.", but it doesn't. Time isn't healing this and...and I feel like I have this great big hole in my heart. I'm-Imma never hear him laugh again. I don't even know if he's proud of who I am."

Aizawa: pulls the red head into his arms. "You are a fine young man and any father would be proud to call you his son. Your father would be proud of you."

Kirishima: wraps his arms around Aizawa. "Can you do me a favor?"

Aizawa: "Yeah, sure."

Kirishima: "Pat my back twice. It's how he always gave hugs."

Aizawa: lightly pats Kirishima's back while hugging Kirishima.

Kirishima: squeezes Aizawa. "Thank you."