#misappropriation

Let’s unpack something that bothers me as a female: the use of phrases like “serving cunt" and “bad bitch" by queer males to hype each other up.

These terms are rooted in misogyny, and it's not right for males to borrow language tied to female oppression by males for males' own empowerment as "feminine."

Co-opting a term tied to females' oppression, specifically connected with their biological expectations, without lived experience of that oppression would be similar to describing a white person who tanned with a racial slur to empower them.

Males have always been the ones to oppress females with such words, so by using them for themselves, it's appropriation of the oppressed by the oppressor.

I don't mean to be mean or rude or upsetting to half of the population of males and don't mean to make those who don't wish to be male feel bad, but this is just the reality of the history of these terms and how they're still used. I don't ever want males to feel like they're the enemy if they truly aren't, but this has to be addressed and respected.

1. Misogynist Roots

“Cunt” reduces females to their anatomy This is one of the most misogynist slurs out there, used to dehumanize and degrade females by reducing them to their genitalia and insulting and degrading the vulva as well. Reframing it as empowering when queer males use it to describe their femininity is offensive. Can males really “reclaim” a slur that wasn’t intended to be aimed at them and their anatomy to begin with?

“Bitch” compares females to animals For generations, this word has been used to diminish females’ humanity, equating them with dogs—submissive when obedient, vilified when assertive. Furthermore, the term "bitch" is typically only used with breeders. Therefore, "bitch" still comes back to the female anatomy for "breeding". While some females reclaim it as empowering, it's appropriation when any male uses it to describe feminine attributes of themselves, especially in a way that's empowering themselves.

Even when males are derogatorily called "cunt" or "bitch," it still reflects misogyny because these terms degrade femininity, implying that being compared to a female is weak or inferior.

Also, even though people call each other "cunt" in other contexts, it's often used in a more endearing manner that doesn’t imply the femininity of the person it’s aimed at.

It’s when "cunt" is used to describe a male's femininity to empower them that it becomes offensive.

Even male-specific derogatory terms such as "son of a bitch" or "bastard" still implies there's something wrong with the female who is his mother. These phrases imply his mother is a bitch or that she was "knocked up" by a male who she didn't marry, implying that she's a "slut" in a negative connotation.

2. Who Gets to Reclaim What?

Reclaiming slurs is personal and collective, and it belongs to those directly harmed by the words.

Females reclaim “bitch” and “cunt” because these terms have been weaponized against them.

Queer people reclaim slurs like “fag” or “queer” because those terms have been used to oppress them.

When queer males of any kind adopt terms like “cunt” or “bitch,” it can feel like skipping over the pain and trauma tied to those words for all females. That doesn’t mean queer males can’t talk about misogyny or relate to femininity, but we have to ask: "is this language really ours to use?"

3. Does It Really Celebrate Femininity?

Phrases like “serving cunt” might seem like they celebrate femininity, but do they? Or do they just reduce being a female to stereotypes? Often, "serving cunt" and "bad bitch" equate being female with sexual appeal, aesthetic perfection, or performance—not the full reality of what it means to be a female. It risks turning being a female into something shallow, instead of respecting it as a complex and lived experience as a human who is female.

4. Misogyny in Queer Culture

Queer males face unique oppressions, but that doesn’t give a free pass to perpetuate misogyny for their own benefit to empower themselves as feminine. Misogyny isn’t always loud and obvious; it can show up subtly, like in such language choices. And let’s not forget that queer spaces often thrive on the labor, creativity, and culture of females, of all kinds—especially females of color—whose contributions are rarely given the respect they deserve! Not to mention, who are all these queer males looking to to inspire their femininity in such an empowering way? Females

5. What’s the Alternative?

Words have meaning and all have historical significance which we must learn from. Language is powerful, and we can choose words that uplift without harming others. Instead of leaning on terms tied to misogyny, let’s hype each other up with words that are affirming and empowering: fierce, iconic, legendary, queen, magnetic, boss, gorgeous, glamorous, diva.

Phrases like “serving cunt” and “bad bitch” are fun on the surface but are loaded with misogynist history. As queer males, we need to ask:

Are these words really ours to reclaim?

Do they celebrate femininity, or reduce it to stereotypes?

How can we uplift each other without perpetuating harm?

Simply because you feel you're just as oppressed or more oppressed than another class doesn't give you the right to use these offensive terms. Let’s hold ourselves accountable, respect females, and move away from language that reinforces female oppression.

It's appropriation of the oppressed by the oppressor.

We can do better💜

Débora Delmar / Canto I (Mayfair Businessman), 2018