#mini headcanon

Hello it's 2am I'm in my feels and I need a distraction so I'm going to remind everyone that a lot of Katherine's disproportionate reactions and crash outs are because shes BPD and the more emotionally attached a bpd bitch is to you the harder everything hits good and bad.

The more important you are to that bpd person the bigger their reactions to "Injustices" and being hurt are. The harder it is for them to remain logical, level headed, and not impulsive.

Thats why her reactions are all over the place with Stefan, Elijah, and Damon. Because she is extremely emotionally invested in all three of them and if they hit the wrong spot just a little too hard all her rationality goes out the window. She becomes impulsive and petulant like when she stabbed Stefan for saying he hates her. He stabbed her first (verbally) and she returned the favour.

Getting close to Katherine means risking sometimes being in the line of fire. She can't always control her reactions, but it doesn't mean she isn't trying. Remember she feels things x100 more powerful than a vampire and x200 more than a regular person.

BPD reactions are always more impulsive and emotional based when they're attached to you emotionally. Things hurt worse when you matter to them. It's why Elijah leaving sent her into one of her biggest crash outs on the show. It's why the news that Stefan was using Nadia as bait sent her into one too.

It's not ooc for her bc she can be logical one minute and emotionally react the next. She triggered and hurting/scared and she reacts impulsively based on her feelings. Her being able to react logically in a crisis while scared is also not ooc bc thats also an incredibly common thing for BPD. It depends on the trigger and situation. Sometimes you can trigger an emotional reaction that causes an impulsive reaction that fizzles out quickly into a logical and cold course of "retaliation".

You’re right we need to talk about it!!!

I think Ilya cries when he gets emotionally overwhelmed, it just seems to bubble up and over, when he really realises how devoted Shane is to him, how intense this love is they have together. How he’d do anything for Shane, when that feeling overwhelms him, cleans his brain out the white wash of a crashed wave.

Ilya fucking Shane on all fours, his boy sprawled prettily underneath him, ass bouncing every time Ilya’s hips sink all the way in. Ilya’s close, pleasure heavy and cloying at the low of his gut, cock throbbing inside Shane, but then Shane is reaching back for Ilya with a blind hand- his voice a soft mumble, of “put me on my back” and Ilya is quick to do so, flip Shane to be under him, sprawled out and Ilya is pushing back inside him. Their noses knock together as Ilya adjusts them, slings Shane’s legs over his hips and grasps at his thighs.

“Better? You okay?” Ilya asks, rubbing his palms over Shane’s warm skin, eyes tracing the shape of him, checking on him.

Shane beams a warm soft smile, his eyes glowing up at him and the low lamp makes his eyes shine, shows the dark red flush of his cheeks, the colour Ilya fucked into them. “Jus’wanted to see you baby” Shane grins, throws his arms around has neck and tugs him in closer. “And kiss you” he exhales before he’s kissing Ilya the way he always has, sweet and wanting and soft mouthed and it makes Ilya’s chest shiver. The touches of Shane’s hands on his neck and back and shoulders, the tightness of him around Ilya’s cock, the soft warmth of his voice- of wanting to see Ilya’s face. Wanting to be closer still somehow when they are already connected, when Ilya is already pushed all the way inside him.

Ilya pulls back from the kiss and Shane’s thumbs are smoothing over this cheeks and oh his cheeks are wet, tears steady from his eyes and he just, smiles at Shane, so stupid in love it makes his chest ache, his head fizz. Shane doesn’t ask anything, just kisses over Ilya’s cheeks, his brow, his hairline. Just asks Ilya to hold him tighter please.

I also think it’s just when Ilya feels safe, with Shane, is reminded that Shane is his best friend. Like Ilya half falls over when he’s walking out of the bathroom, after their shower together eager to get to Shane who is sprawled on the bed, already pushing his fingers inside himself- which is distracting mind you- and Shane just giggles and says “baby be careful! Come here!” Instead of calling him stupid or lame or clumsy. Ilya watches Shane’s stomach contract with his laughter and the shine of lube on the hand between his legs and fuck he loves Shane, his home. His baby. He gets teary eyed as he pins Shane to the bed, shoves his face in Shane’s hair to hide them.

Yes !!

Ilya in the tiniest running shorts, glowing with sweat, one hand down the front of his shorts, making eyes at Shane behind the camera

A half blurry selfie of them, faces smushed together, cheeks pressed close with beaming faces and teeth

Their hands tangled together in Ilya’s lap,on top of a thick layer of blankets

Ilya asleep in Shane’s lap, face slack and relaxed, Shane’s hand buried in Ilya’s thick curls

Shane asleep on his stomach on the couch, but ass naked with blankets tangled around his feet

Blurry photo with Shane shirtless, a fork in one hand with cake on the end of it, Shane’s hand pushing towards the camera

Shane’s back, Shane is flexing, head turned half back towards the camera with a beam, “ilya” written across his back in sunscreen

Shane’s face pressed into Ilya’s snail trail, dopey eyes and smiley

Ilya jumping off the dock totally naked

Shane asleep in a Boston raiders hoodie, in Ilya’s bed in Boston, face flush with sleep

Ilya holding a bottle of wine up to his mouth, stood on the outdoor sofa, blurry with motion, clearly mid song from his open mouth

Shane against the door of the cottage, Ilya’s hand holding his smiling face

Shane’s thighs, sprawled open in his boxers, covered in hickies and bites

Ilya sprawled out in Shane’s bed, hand around his cock, lips parted, eyes dark

A selfie, Ilya’s face, soft smile with his temple leaning on Shane’s knee, he’s sat between Shane’s legs, a brush in the top of the frame, Shane’s hand, Ilya’s hair dripping wet curls

Shane and Ilyas socked feet tangled together at the end of the sofa

Ilya with a frown in a metros jersey, pouting at the camera

Ilya with Shane’s foot in his mouth, biting the side of it

Shane’s nose, lips, chin and chest in frame, covered in cum

Shane intently reading, in the corner of the frame his pinky finger hooked into Ilya’s waistband of his sweats centre of the frame

Ilya’s back covered in dark scratches

Shane in his glasses, in bed, looking up at the camera, Ilya’s hand fisted in his fringe

Later, after, after ilya had cleaned Shane’s face with his fingers and both their mouths- they are stumbling heavy footed and tired into the bathroom for a shower- and Ilya sees it, a dark mouth shaped bruise, purple red, it looks like he took a fucking puck to his groin. He gasps and Shane is like huh? All big heavy eyes already in the shower, waiting for Ilya to get in with him. His hair is all wet flat to his head, brushed back out of eyes. Ilya has got to fuck him again. But more importantly -

Ok bet. I think that the cens have a shared album that only contains pics of hollanov napping on eachother in various public spaces. The bus, the plane, in the locker room, whatever — it’s all fair game

Yess yes yes yes ! After they are out too the boys sometimes post it to their stories, always with Ilya or Shane’s approval first. One picture goes mega viral, it’s them in an airport, the boys waiting out a delay from snow, and Ilya and Shane have jenga’ed themselves into a small armchair. Ilya is laying sideways on it, his long legs over the side and Shane is in Ilya’s lap, curled towards Ilya with his face shoved into Ilya’s neck and one of his legs is sprawled off the small armchair and they are holding hands between their chest, all smushed together.

Hiii baby!