posted this on @ akrasiaz on tt

me procrastinating everything and anything: you know what tumblr really needs? more of my ck x spiderman bs...

but actually this really is just me rambling

also these don't necessarily take place in the same universe, bc the dynamics wouldn't make sense together, so definitely don't think too hard about it like i am, this is just fun

parksborn - hawkmetri

childhood bffs to enemies to lovers

huge identity changes they both have to adjust to

original recipe, i mean does a spiderman/demetri queer ship get more classic than this?

also already covered this whole au so yeah, i've thought a lot about this one in particular

eli found out about his secret identity after trying to kill spider-man the first time, he tried three times before realizing his childhood best friend was more important than getting revenge on spider-man

interwebs - sametri (platonic)

demetri would be more like ned but shhhhh

basically just a really strong sibling dynamic, sam is his guy in the chair

"okay don't go near mason ave, it's crawling with vulture's goons...DEMETRI WHY ARE YOU HEADING IN THAT DIRECTION?"

"wha- you said to go to mason ave!"

"I SAID DON'T-"

she worries about him a lot but she can't do much since she doesn't have powers. what she can do is help demetri by clearing away civilians when he's in the middle of a fight and help him do research on his enemies (which he constantly worries about bc he knows it could put a target on her back but he does as much as he can to keep her away from danger)

she found out his secret identity early on when she went to his house to check on him after a fight with kyler (that he shockingly won) and he entered his bedroom in his full spidey suit without seeing her

his mom walked in after he took off the suit, which led to a really awkward conversation and an even more awkward running joke ("people like spiderman can only do so much to protect us if we aren't careful ourselves...like a condom. which i hope is a familiar friend between you and that samantha girl." "oh my god mom, i've told you A MILLION TIMES nothing is going on between me and sam!" "i'm just saying, you can do what you want, as long as you don't make me a young grandmother-" "MOM STOP-")

being spiderman's best friend isn't something sam thinks about too much, he's still just demetri, her awkwardly tall and skinny younger brother

spideypool - robmetri

coworkers to lovers

opposites attract dynamic

"i don't agree with ur methods but we're working together against a common enemy"

not really enemies, not really friends, but a secret third thing (LOVERS)

tbh demetri would be more deadpool than robby but for pairings sake, this works

imagining robby being like a lone rebel, more vigilante/anti-hero than spiderman (obvi) and meeting demetri and being like "woah ur so silly, i like you, have a cupcake" and demetri stressing like "no you can't just kill these guys, they have families- PUT HIM DOWN! NO, I MEANT GENTLY!"

robby does know his secret identity but he prefers to interact with him in the suit (it's due to both of their slight insecurities in how they look, despite the other very much not caring what they look like)

spideytorch - migmetri

friends to lovers

miguel/johnny having that ladies' man swagger and demetri/peter being a flustered mess over it

miguel helping demetri in a few battles and flying away with a heart fire trail behind him every time

just an overall really sweet flirty ship

miguel doesn't know his secret identity at first. one day, demetri loses his suit and needs to borrow a fantastic four suit until he can get his own suit back. miguel finds his spider suit and brings it to him but holds it back to flirtingly ask what he looks like with nothing on. demetri rolls his eyes and takes off his makeshift mask (a paper bag).

"there, that's all you're getting, fire boy, can you give me my suit back now?...why are you staring at me like that?"

"...you're really cute."

"no i'm not- look, just give me my suit. i have to get back on patrol."

"i think i'm just gonna burn this suit actually. i don't want you covering that pretty little face again."

"miguel don't you DARE-"

petermj/spidercat - yasmetri

petermj bc this is the classic classic, i will find you in every universe, strings of fate soulmate deal

spidercat bc yas 100% is a vigilante/anti-hero that likes to mess with demetri's head by committing crimes and then helping him solve some

either she's his forever soulmate or she's a little menace that wreaks havoc on his life, there's no in-between

she doesn't know his secret identity, nor does he know hers, she prefers it that way, makes it more exciting. he doesn't though.

"you're always around this neighborhood, is this where you live?"

"nice try, spider-boy. i'm not that dumb."

"do you at least go to school around here?"

"focus up, arachnid. we're supposed to be keeping an eye out for kravinoff."

"maybe i can tell you some of my favorite stores and you can tell me if you like them too, even if you robbed them."

"i've robbed stores all across the coast, that won't tell you anything."

"a favorite restaurant then?"

spideymoon - axelmetri

I just think it'd be funny for demetri and axel's dynamic to carry over into spiderman universe, just demetri being like "how and why is this guy shifting suits mid-fight? and why does he always switch his accent?" and just wanting to know what his origin story could possibly be, what his powers are related to, what his superhero name is, what his motives are, etc.

he just has a really gross curiosity about what any of what he does even means and axel is just like "idk i'm on my own mission rn lol"

they don't know each other's secret identities

(also unrelated but THE HEADBAND MATCHING MOONKNIGHT'S LOGO DKJKJKKLS)

spiderelsa - kwonmetri

star-crossed lovers, meant to be and doomed to never interact in canon

made by someone who was probably insanely psychotic and sleep-deprived (i wonder who that could be...)

who's making the pregnant elsa/kwon fanart fr

mainly with a focus on college but also his friends in general

as always, this is mainly me projecting on dem and just pulling from how i am with my friends

Yas

he and yas have a relationship that, from the outside, seems super weird and probably dysfunctional but they somehow know exactly how to understand each other ?? like yeah yas is sometimes mean to dem and he annoys the shit out of her but like it's all done very affectionately and they both know that

while it's not confirmed in canon where yas is going to school, i'm gonna hc yas as a san diego state university girlie

they meet up every other weekend and facetime once a week

it's unclear to others if they're dating or just friends but yas is a surprisingly clingy person and, when paired with dem's fear of abandonment and general anxiety about the worst-case scenarios, they both spend a lot of time keeping each other grounded

"hey loser, i saw this stupid book from that stupid show you like" = "this mha graphic novel reminded me of you and i thought you'd like it. i miss you"

"i'll have you know it's not a stupid show, it's actually an incredible masterpiece that has a large cultural impact, not that someone as uncultured as you would know" = "i miss you too, thank you for thinking of me"

Hawk

they always have been and always will be the same overly codependent duo that miguel met in the cafeteria

but they know how to balance that out with other aspects of their life now (school, extracurriculars, other friends, "girlfriends", jobs, etc.)

he'd explode if they had to do long-distance. like he would actually turn to dust without hawk. he started crackling when eli said he was going to caltech so demetri immediately applied to caltech to stop the disintegration process

i put this in the tags of some other post but i'll reiterate: demetri is like tinkerbell when it comes to hawk. if hawk's not acknowledging him in some way or in his general proximity, he starts to dim and die

they're not even long-distance in a hypothetical scenario, because it's never happening (demetri's words exactly)

they're roommates throughout college (omg and they were roommates)

they do have their own lives, obvi, but they happen to overlap a lot (incidentally making friends in the same friend group, going to the same campus events, taking a lot of the same classes bc they planned out their degree plans almost identically to each other without realizing it)

they also DOMINATE the robotics program at caltech, everyone knows them

even beyond the robotics program actually. they don't try to isolate themselves like at the beginning of high school but they comfortably become an iconic duo on campus, especially anywhere where there's a game they can win together like at parties and campus events (and they try to keep each other in check so neither one becomes too codependent or too frustrated with being associated with one another)

"oh yeah, you mean demetri and hawk, the robot guys" "ooooh demetri and hawk, the science guys" "yeah yeah, demetri and hawk, the karate guys" "demetri and hawk, that's right, those nerdy party guys"

demetri's not very partial to the parties but he's certainly more comfortable with them knowing hawk isn't gonna dump a drink on his head or ditch him halfway through

hawk's bold personality and demetri's need to yap makes them pretty well known (and also their oddly contradictory yet complimentary personalities)

Sam

when they first started talking/hanging out, demetri was SUPER nervous and awkward ("omg an actual human female is talking to me. not just any girl, SAMANTHA LARUSSO, don't screw it up !!") but he eventually realized he could relax around sam

their main dynamic is being nerdy together and also sam laughing at whatever silly or neurotic things demetri says (which subconsciously clues him into what is/isn't appropriate to say and what he should/shouldn't seriously worry about)

post-graduation, demetri is SUUUUUPER clingy to sam, just spending a lot of time around her and talking out of his ass bc of how nervous he is

he finally breaks before they both leave for school and he reveals he's nervous bc flying is dangerous enough but to the other side of the world??? he lists off all the possible dangers of traveling, traveling alone, being in a foreign country, being in a foreign country ALONE, being a GIRL in a FOREIGN COUNTRY ALONE, etc.

sam tells him it's making her feel more nervous about traveling so he tries to shut himself up bc he knows she wants to be excited about the opportunity (she knows this is a feat for him and is immensely grateful that he cares enough about her to filter himself for her sake)

she initially wonders why demetri puts so much stress into spending time with her and making sure she's safe (especially when he's not really doing the same with anyone else). she learns from hawk that demetri views her as his closest friend other than hawk, basically his best friend/sister, and he acts similarly with hawk and yas but not really anyone else. aaaand if she cries a little after hearing that, no one but hawk can confirm and he'll never tell :3

he ends up stressing OVER and OVER that she can call at any time but he tries to be nonchalant about it. he does retain some dignity by not texting her "ARE YOU OKAY" every five seconds but he does so with a bit (a lot) of anxiety

dem: "should i ask her if she landed safely? no, she'll think i'm too clingy. maybe i should say have a safe flight. but what if that jinxes her flight? and now she'll have an unsafe flight. maybe i'm overthinking this. or what if i'm not thinking about it enough?"

eli: "demetri, this is the last time i'm saying this. shut the FUCK up. she'll be fine."

dem: "but we don't KNOW that, eli. maybe miguel can keep me updated by proxy. that way i don't seem too clingy but i still know she's okay...but what if miguel gets hacked and the hacker lies-"

eli: *throws a pillow at dem's face*

sam understands the "casual" memes he sends at 12am in his time aren't just memes but a check-in, wordlessly asking "hello, are you still alive? you haven't forgotten about me right? you're still safe?"

she sends demetri pictures of the scenery in okinawa bc she knows he appreciates the aesthetic and the confirmation that she's still in one piece

when they see each other in person again, he's immensely awkward and distant trying not to show how much he missed her and worried about her so she makes sure to hug him that much tighter and spend a little more time with him

Robby

demetri and robby's whole friendship is weird, even to the two of them. there's not technically a lot of communication, just a subtle understanding of each other after seeing each other at their lowest (when demetri first joined miyagi-do, during the all-valley, when robby rejoined miyagi-do, during the flagship dojo break-in, when they were competing to go to the sekai taikai, during the actual sekai taikai in barcelona, and when demetri helped train robby for the captain fight)

likely due to robby's time and time again proven ability to look out for himself, demetri is a bit more lax about him flying all over the world (also bc he's traveling with tory and a whole entourage of agents/photographers/security/etc.)

demetri also knows robby isn't the type to text frequently so he keeps his texts a bit more spread out

but ofc, with robby's job, it's not like he's in a shortage of life updates to confirm his friend's well-being

demetri still sends him memes and occasional movie/book recommendations, which robby appreciates since most people only ever want to talk to him about his salary, karate (on a surface level), and brand deals

robby will occasionally send him pictures of random stuff he sees while competing/traveling and just says "you" (one of which is a squashed soda can that looks completely thin and crumpled) (this is exactly his and robby's type of humor)

even tho they don't talk/hang out much, at least nothing with much substance, they're still suuuuper close, which is weird, all things considered. again, they're just vibing so hard, stuck on the same wavelength, that distance and lack of communication can't kill their bond

Moon

their whole dynamic is demetri lowkey insulting her beliefs but still appreciating the intention behind it

"moon i'm not trusting that i'm gonna pass this class bc of a post some fifteen-year-old made on canva about how the stars are aligning tonight if i like and share to my story. i need to study if i want to pass...i guess if you like and share for me, that's fine...thank you, i hope i pass too"

hc her as a uc santa barbara girlie (idk why, i just felt like it) (probs bc that's one of four colleges i know from california)

demetri facetimes her once a week, sometimes he and yas will do a three- or four-way call with her and sam (with eli popping in from demetri's screen occasionally)

she sends him the weekly horoscope (he doesn't put much faith in it but he appreciates the sentiment)

she also keeps track of when he has a test or big event coming up and manifests a positive outcome for him (texting him to let him know each time)

Miguel

demetri jokingly laments over the fact that they could've been "hidden ivy brothers but eli had to ruin it"

he sees miguel pretty frequently compared to his other friends (a few times a semester) when him and eli meet him halfway between their schools either to spend the day in a random city, go to a national park, go to the beach, etc.

miguel takes him and eli around stanford on one trip; he knows demetri did want the hidden ivy experience and appreciates the peek into his life

miyagi-do

just like the other kids, he visits miyagi-do during the summer for a couple years when nate/bert/devon/kenny/anthony are still there. he stops when the whole dojo is full of students he doesn't know anymore but will occasionally see daniel and johnny when he visits with miguel/sam

Meanwhile there's Eli, the only person who isn't neutral or positive about Demetri and the only person Dem avoids. Eli, watching everyone gush around Demetri and crowd Demetri and get the smiles that Eli liked to think were reserved to him only, until he realizes he's not Eli any more, hes the Hawk.

OH YES, THIS ACTUALLY

like this should've been canon bc demetri's annoying asf but he has no other actual reason to be beefing with anyone but eli.

my non canon compliant head canon is exactly what you said, demetri's just a little guy and, while he's not super close with the cobras, they are totally chill with him hanging around with miguel or bert. he's just kinda there.

for the ones that are close with him, he's just a little guy that needs to be protected. and it's not like an infantilizing thing either. dem's just so used to taking care of eli that it translates to a quiet thoughtfulness and caring for everyone. and him being that good of a friend just makes them more inclined to be protective over him.

and eli would 100% lose his shit over this. he's always had demetri in his corner, always known how kind he is but couldn't stand how he couldn't accept this new side of himself. and yet, while hawk emerged and tried so hard to keep up the performance of "the hawk," trying so hard to be the cool guy and not mess anything up, demetri just shines under all the new attention that has absolutely nothing to do with a new look or a sudden personality shift. he's just 100% classic demetri without eli in the way.

now this pisses eli off SO BAD. bc one, demetri's not trying at all to get in everyone's good graces. he's not trying to be the best at karate, he's not trying to only align with miyagi do or cobra kai, he's not trying to act like a cool confident guy, he's still neurotic, physically-averse demetri, still has to have an opinion about everything, but no one minds him. in fact, they like him! it's not just a miyagi do "united in trauma" thing either, everyone actually likes demetri. they think he's funny, he's kind, he's great to be around, there's literally no reason not to like him.

which, in turn, makes eli hate him even more. why is it so easy for demetri to get people to like him when they'd both spent their whole childhoods being social pariahs? how did demetri turn things around so easily without changing literally anything? so yeah, he's super jealous and hurt, the only thing that changed is demetri's proximity to eli. and although the other cobras might not care to target demetri at all, eli needs to make it his priority to show demetri he couldn't care less, he doesn't care how many people love him, he still hates demetri and that won't change (but like everyone knows his obsession has everything to do with the fact that he still cares/is in love with him, he just tries to shove it deep down)

and dem kind of takes note of this, he knows hawk's complicated when it comes to his opinion of him so he just...avoids him. which pisses eli off EVEN MORE bc how dare he not even notice his attempts at ignoring him? eli's trying to show him how UNAFFECTED he is by demetri's weird charm and demetri doesn't even care.

very much "pulling your pigtails to get your attention" dynamic going on between them.

i'd love to consider how tory fits in this world. maybe she's also neutral on demetri, but consider her too liking demetri. like if she was neutral on dem or even hated him for being associated with miyagi do/sam, that'd be fine by eli. he can use tory as a shield to show "see, i'm not weird for hating him, she doesn't like him either!"

but if tory DID like dem's company?? that'd be the final nail in the coffin for eli. like "he's chill, he helped me with brandon a couple of times, they understand each others' nerd language." meanwhile eli's like "when THE FUCK was he around brandon? i've never even met brandon"

so yeah, that'd make eli all the more mad. quite literally everyone is wrapped around dem's finger and eli's the only one aggressively fighting it bc idk jealousy? embarrassment? anger? sadness? literally any amalgamation of negative emotions that's causing him to lash out at any reminder of weak eli which happens to include everyone's favorite nerd.

and when he breaks demetri's arm? well a lot of the cobras are already indifferent toward demetri but they all feel kinda sick to their stomach bc even they know seeing someone like dem in pain like that isn't something they'd ever truly want. but, like eli, they try to justify. all's fair in war, right? there's bound to be collateral damage.

but yeah, some of them are on edge, and the most bothered ones are quick to run to eagle fang as soon as johnny and miguel make their comebacks.

okay so i did this post and realized i wanted to brainstorm other things demetri might've done, specifically in correlation to his cast, that wouldn't have been shown on-screen

he definitely cried himself to sleep the night he got home from the hospital

and he cried every time he woke up in the middle of the night from being uncomfortable trying to find a way to sleep with his cast (it's on those nights that he wonders if eli purposely broke the same arm he knows demetri sleeps on every night)

(as mentioned in the previous post) he cuts off the sleeve from some of his shirts (curse hawk for breaking his arm right when fall and winter start) (they live in california, this has barely any impact, demetri just needs to make some kind of joke out of this situation or he might break down five times a day)

he's already quite trained in tying his shoes, writing, typing, etc. with just his left arm because he and eli used to wear one of his dad's old shirts around the house and pretend to be one person with demetri as the left arm and eli as the right (however he tries not to think about this, or anything eli honestly)

i don't love that they made his cast completely blank so I SAY he went to training after school that day just to hang (sam probably convinced him it'd be good to be with the team instead of crying in bed alone at home) and they all sign his cast as soon as he gets there. he's a little overwhelmed but the white of the cast made him feel sick so, once it's covered in signatures and doodles, all he feels is a warmth in his chest at every glance

↑ also this couldn't have been timed better bc he was plotting how to hide the giant penis on his arm from his mom, lest she raise hell on the school and kyler himself once she found out. but the signatures hide it really well so she just smiles and whispers how happy she is that he has so many people looking out for him now

he is actually disheartened at not being able to do as much training while his arm is casted/slinged. he just doesn't tell anyone and loudly expresses how relieved he is bc god forbid they know he actually loves karate

miguel does minor physical therapy exercises with him once he gains mobility again. they'll sit and watch whatever dem chooses (usually naruto) and stretch together while commentating over the show

when he's able to train again, sam bounces between forcing him to train his right arm a little too much and going way too easy on him. dem talks to miguel about this and miguel instantly recognizes that while sam's trying to prepare dem to make sure his weaker arm isn't taken advantage of again, she also still feels guilty and shaken over the fight. he tells dem as much so he doesn't get too frustrated by her random energy shifts

on that note actually, he and miguel become quite close again over that semester. he gathered that miguel felt guilty for letting cobra kai come between them that summer and even guiltier for not noticing how bad the others had gotten (especially hawk toward demetri). but through spending time with him in the hospital, post-hospital, then after he came back to school, dem tried to make it clear to miguel he never blamed him or was upset with him.

↑ p.s. (kinda unrelated) they also have rare moments where they've stayed up just late enough that they quietly let the other in in a moment of delirious vulnerability. they never bring these moments up or anything they told each other, but it does strengthen their friendship to a place it never was before