#midnightsonata

This is the most important headcanon I will ever write. So pay attention!

You know what to do, yet you don't.

Telling them, "don't", but look what you do.

How do we get better? How will we get better?

Speech is silent but thoughts are loud.

Enclosed on our own shadows, echoing resides.

Words cuts like razors, bleeding in our mind.

We keep it in, 'cause blood is supposed to be internal.

Let the black ink spill from the open skin,

Because we refuse to open up.

What will you make of us by forcing the knife in?

You'll scrape the skin and make my guts explode.

Let us paint happy pictures, with bright, lively colors,

Add some flowers to cover up the bruises.

We are doing our best to survive for the day.

We do everything to remember what was fun again,

To keep us alive.

—Lighting up the torch of passion, but I'm burnt down.

Heart stops beating.

Crumbling inside.

Please, let me sleep,

And let the voices stop.

—星気の

IG: @scarstobebeautiful

Loving is overrated, I obsess.

I let EVERYTHING get on my nerves, filling it up until I pop my veins.

It gave off a pungent smell, spreading off intoxicating vibes...

It made the the people around me be brought upon their knees, poking holes unto their skin, making them bleed and drown in their own blood.

I locked my self in a jar, absorbing the toxicity in my own lungs.

From feeling everything to feeling monochromatically nothing.

Seeing everything in black and white— the void and darkness of my own.

Nothing makes me feel anymore.

Setting that 'happy-everything-okay-la-dee-da-da' song on an infinite loop. —Had to be okay. Have to fine.

Lost that appetite long ago. Just throwing everything I am fed up with.

Everything comes out in withdrawal from my mouth, but no words come out with the vomit— just my innards.

All I am is skin and bones.

Let me feel something.

I shed my own blood to give color to my canvas.

And when I felt the pain, I bled on different colors and started to splatter it.

—星気の

Medium used: nail polish, toothpick

Painted by: yours, truly

Airpods is not mine, it's my brother's property. Uhh... Welp?

And my body can barely stay alive.

But still I am hoping and praying for my breakthrough.

-scars | 05092021

I remember that sense of place. I remember that scent. I remember that warmth. I remember those chills. I remember these feelings.

But I had changed. I changed for the better. And yet... I feel different.

Oh. 

I miss my old self and I am trying to find it... 

I might have lost the pieces along the way. 

I did not notice I was replacing myself slowly.

I don't know where I left it. I don't know if it is still working. I don't know if it still exists. 

How can I find it if it is long gone? 

After all, it was my fault for leaving.

Do I still belong with you? When the parts you once loved are now gone?

▌ 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  : Macbeth  Orla ( yes I changed it) ▌ 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍  : Single...for now  ▌ 𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 / 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒  :  Reflector Magic/Illusion magic/Dark magic ▌ 𝐄𝐘𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑  : Black, Crimson when having any kind of heavy emotions. ▌ 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑  : Black on top. White on bottom. Party in the back. Hott in the front. ▌ 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒  : Riordan Orla (Father deceased). Viska Orla (Mother undetermined). Adalene Orla (Older sister deceased). Quintin Orla (Younger brother deceased), Beatrice Orla ( Younger sister deceased)....yikes. Technically all the Oración Seis/Crime Sorciere. Not that he’d say that out loud.  ▌ 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐒  : None ▌ 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄  : Despite how Macbeth treats his opponents (sadistically), they absolutely hate anyone that harms or is just mean to any kinda of creature (animal, beast, magical/ non magical ect.).  ▌ 𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒 / 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒  : Piano for sure. Writing. Making people feel flustered or uneasy.  ▌ 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄  : Plenty of times. They were not a great person back when they were hell bent on being the strongest. They’ve gotten better about it, but the act doesn’t bother them. ▌ 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌  : Owl  ▌ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒  : Not allowing themselves to open up about their real issues. Sleeping in random ass places.  Thinking they have to carry the weight of their entire guild. Being a flirtatious sadist. Hmm murder. ▌ 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐒  : His older sister when he was a child. Now they don’t really have one. They avoid having those kinda feelings after Brain.

▌ 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  : Pansexual/ demisexual ▌ 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄   /   𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒  : They don’t really think about those kinda things. They don’t believe they can truly be loved by anyone. Although in a 38 year old Macbeth HC piece i’m writing they do get married and have a kid, after finding love in a very special someone ; ) ▌ 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒  : Being alone at night, which unfortunately they are all the time. Not being able to protect they people they actually care about. Large scale fires. Losing their freedom ever again. ▌ 𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒  : Depends on the occasion. Coats and jackets normally, but if it’s a event or something they like to dress extra af. ▌ 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄  : Adalene. Everyone in Crime Sorciere, minus Jellal. ▌ 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒  : HAHAHA shared trauma, or being a sassy bitch I guess. ▌ 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊  : Whisky for sure. ▌ 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐓  : In the woods, usually at night. ▌ 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐌 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍  : Lake ▌ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄  : Trust is a big deal to them, that and if they think it’s fun to make them flustered. ▌ 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐒  : Camping