#mgmm

You brushed your teeth, ignoring your buzzing phone and curled up under the sheets, falling asleep.

In the morning, you woke up to a throbbing headache and cursed at nothing in particular. You grabbed your backpack and your fully filled water bottle then left the house for the bus stop without breakfast. You left while everyone else was still asleep, you couldn’t stand any more noise. You felt like a zombie in school, just getting from class to class, ignoring your friends for fear of snapping at them. You only spoke when your teachers asked questions.

There was no doubt that Janis was staring, well- looking at you every chance she could get. She was worried. Of course she would be, she was nice and sweet and the best girlfriend. She knew you had a bad night and an even rougher morning. She knew all you wanted to do was just to disappear for a while and allow yourself to recharge. You couldn’t skip classes, though. So you pushed through.

Janis bounced her leg irritatedly, watching the clock in every class, anxious for the school day to be over so she could take you to her house, where you could actually relax and not be in a fight or fight for a change.

“Girl, would you quit shaking the table?” Damian glared at her playfully, clicking his teeth.

Janis grumbled, “Sorry.”

3:35, the final bell rang. Janis quietly slid next to you and held your hand, thumb smoothing over your knuckles comfortingly. You got into her Dad’s car that she tended to borrow frequently, sat up front with her in silence. The whole time just swallowing your tears as she drove away from school. She was almost pulling up to a McDonald’s drive through but you lost it. Just bawled and screamed saying you didn’t want to eat and you weren’t going to eat.

Janis doesn’t say anything at all, just drove the rest of the way home. Once she’d parked the car in the driveway, she got out of the car, you followed her into her garage still crying quietly. You dropped your bag and crawled under the covers in her bed and curled up.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You don’t shake your head, you don’t say no. You just laid there. As frustrated as she was with the situation, as badly as she wanted to be able to do something immediately, she knew that wouldn’t be the case. Janis sighed softly, laying down next to you and facing you. She took ahold of your hands, studying the bruises and forming scabs on your left knuckles. She wanted to cry seeing that but she kept it together. You pulled your hands away forcefully, inevitably wincing.

“It’s okay.” Janis whispered. You adamantly shook your head, crying harder. “What can I do for you, hm?” You shifted closer to her and buried your face in her chest, she held you, rubbing your back and kissing your head as she whispered sweet words into your ears. “You’re safe with me, honey.”

“I don’t want to wake up, Jan.” You muttered, voice wobbly, “I don’t like it.”

“I love you, sweet girl.” Janis said, “I love you so much. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Janis’ cat that was sleeping on her desk, jumped onto her bed, wedging himself between the both of you. Janis put him down to the side. You scratched yourself till you bled, nearly hitting Janis as she tried to stop you. “Don’t do that, my love. Please.”

Eventually you grew tired and just laid there, staring at the ceiling. “I’ll make you mini pancakes.” She suggested, “You need to eat, honey.”

You shook your head, swallowing thickly, “I don’t wanna. My tummy hurts.” There you sat, crossed legged- hurt, in tears and in pain. And no way to express yourself.

This was regression. Janis didn’t know how exactly it helped, especially when it almost always started off this way. “Because you haven’t eaten all day, lovey.” Janis squat down to look you in the eyes, holding your hands that you had clutched together and rested on your knees.

“I don’t wann—”

“Food is good for you. You need some food, okay? Your tummy needs food, then it’ll feel better.”

Defeated, your head drooped as she stood up. “Mac and cheese?”

“No.”

“Do you want some yogurt?”

You whined.

“Nutella sandwich?” She suggested hopefully, “I’ll even cut them into little dinosaurs for you.”

Silence. Your shoulders became less tense.

Yes.

That was a yes.

“Come on, you’re coming with me.” Janis took your hand.

You watched her prepare your food, then you ate it quietly after muttering a thank-you. Janis sat next to you, holding her cat Gio on her lap. “He’s worried about you too.” Janis said.

You don’t say a thing again.

Gio meowed, as though demanding to be put back on the floor. Janis does so, getting to slice an apple for you after peeling the skin. “Some apple, okay?”

You nodded.

“Do you want water? Apple juice?”

“Juice.” You told her while staring at your plate and chewing.

“Okay, here you go.” She put your favourite cup in front of you, filled with apple juice. Kissed your head and sat down next to you once again. Janis watched you eat and drink, combing a hand through your hair in the meantime.

After eating, you snuggled with Janis until you dozed off. While you napped, Janis made herself some mac and cheese. Her Dad comes home while she was eating. “Thought you said y/n was here.”

“She is asleep. Rough day.” Janis answered simply.

“She eaten yet?”

Janis nodded, “Yep. A sandwich, some juice.”

“Good.”

“I’m not letting her go home, Dad.” Janis began, “Things are insane over there. If she spends time at home, it’ll just keep happening and she’s just going to keep hurting herself trying to vent her frustration.”

“She’s been over here a lot recently and she’s always upset, so I was talking to your Mom about it and I agree. She has to stay away from her family. Seeing them interact at the school fair that day was enough confirmation for me.” Kaino sat down next to her, “Look, we could give her the benefit of the doubt about what goes on at home if we didn’t see how her parents were like, if we didn’t see how jumpy and uncomfortable she was. But we did, and I can’t just stand idly by and do nothing. Seeing how she is with you, it’s a very big difference, keiki.”

Janis only listened and occasionally nodded as she finished off her plate.

“How is she coping?”

“Don’t mention this to her, but- Not eating, punching things, scratching herself until she bleeds. And my God she usually doesn’t resort to these things but when the switch flips inside her head, she has no other way to express herself or let out her feelings. She doesn’t want to talk to me, or can’t, I— so I just stay beside her and make sure she does not get too far with it.”

“You’re trying your best to keep her safe, and that’s more than what her own parents have been able to do.” Kaino continued, “Look, I’m obviously going to tell you to talk to her about seeing someone for this, but I know you both- that you’d both disagree to this idea. Her behaviour is regressive, involuntary. I get that, she reverts back to a different time where she feels like she won’t be bothered by the world eventually once the big feelings are out of the way. Nothing wrong with that. But consider it.”

“My therapist is all for using age regression as a coping mechanism. I brought it up the other day to see if she was open to it and what she thought. But of course, getting her to see the same therapist I do isn’t the wisest thing. I just wanted to get a feel of that clinic’s perspective.”

Kaino nodded, “Bring it up when you feel like the time is right. If she disagrees, don’t push her. Let her sit with the idea for awhile, if she wants to go for it, she’ll tell you.”

Janis got up to wash her dishes, all while still chatting with her Dad. “Will Mom be on time tonight? She isn’t answering my texts.”

“I talked to her on the way home, she said she should be. She doesn’t think the meetings would overrun.”

Janis nodded, “Okay.”

“I’m gonna go drive to the grocery store to get a few things for dinner. You girls want anything?”

“Apple juice.” Janis said evenly, “Not the carton. Juice boxes.”

“Got it, kiddo. Anything else?”

“No, I’m good.”

“Alright, I’ll be back soon. If you want or need anything, call me.”

————

Janis entered her garage quietly but you were already up. Your nap didn’t even last an hour. You followed her movement across the room to get to you, eyes wide as you had your arms open and hands grabby.

“Snuggy, Jan.” You mumbled. She tousled your hair, pressing a kiss to your cheek after scooping you up into her lap. You giggled drowsily, resting your head near her shoulder.

“Wanna watch Bluey?”

You nodded.

“Yeah?” She asked while grabbing her iPad from the spot next to her on the mattress.

“Yeah.”

“Bluey it is.” Janis set it up without issues, letting a full-episodes livestream on Youtube run. “You want a snack, sweetie?”

“Mm-mm.”

“That’s okay, maybe later.”

Janis basically cradled you while you got distracted by cartoons, eventually lost in your own little world, calm and relaxed. “Can I have apple juice?” You asked absentmindedly.

“Sure, sweetie. I’ll be right back with it.”

Janis went to her closet, rummaging through a specific tub of your stuff that she kept in there, pulling out a sippy cup. As she stood up straight, a plush she’d crocheted got her eye- she’d left it hidden so that she could surprise you with it along with a few other things for yours and her first anniversary in a couple weeks. But, she figured she’d give it to you now.

After she’s got you your apple juice.

“Here you go.” Janis fit herself next to you, “And this. For you.”

You giggled, full-on belly laughed, “Snickers!” Janis grinned, “Yeah~ you likey?”

“Thank youuuu, Jan.” You giggled even more, playfully squishing the plush in your hands, “I love it.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie.” She smooched your cheek repeatedly.

After awhile, you got bored of watching cartoons and went up to her desk, sitting on the chair, spinning in it mindlessly. “Wanna draw?”

“No.” You snickered, “Cans I colour theseeee?” You pointed at her arm tattoos. Janis seemed to be equal parts bewildered and amused.

“Sure.” Janis hummed, shrugging her shoulders. She plopped herself on her desk, pouring out a box of washable markers for you.

“Really?” You asked, bright eyed.

“Yep. Go ahead.” She bit back a smile.

Someone knocked on the garage door, but Janis was obviously occupied so she didn’t get up to answer it. “Kinda busy here.” Janis chuckled to herself, “Come in!”

“Hey, mama, how was work?” Janis asked, glancing at Iolana as she walked into the garage, shutting the door behind herself.

“Busy, a little stressful. So, I’m glad it’s Friday.” Iolana leaned against the wall by the desk, “Hi, y/n.”

You gasped softly, frozen. “It’s okay, sweetie. You have fun.” Janis laughed, ruffling with your hair. Iolana seemed a little confused initially but realised they were washable markers once she saw the box. “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Hi, Lana.” You greeted quietly, “…’m okay.” Eyes peeled on one of Janis’ tattoos that you currently trying to colour inside the lines of.

While you were currently oblivious to the state of your hand and arms, they were the first things the older woman noticed.

“Good, good.” Iolana smiled at you kindly, not wanting you to feel her concern, “I brought home some leftover cake if you girls want some. It’s on the table.”

“You want some cake, baby?”

“Yes, please.” You nodded eagerly, capping the marker in your hand and tossing it back onto the table.

“Is it chocolate?” Janis asked her Mom.

The woman nodded, “Always.”

While you and Janis headed for the kitchen, Iolana stayed in the garage briefly to tidy it up and brought Janis’ half-filled hamper of clothes inside to wash them.

Kaino was busy cooking up a storm in the kitchen while you and Janis sat at the dining table, giggling away and sharing the decadent chocolate cake— it was leftover cake from a client’s event. No one else wanted it, so Iolana took it home, knowing that Janis would love it. You too. And Kaino snuck a bite or two before he continued cooking. Soon, Iolana joined him in the kitchen. Both of them engrossed in a quiet conversation.

“She’s staying.” Iolana told her husband. Kaino nodded, “Yeah. She can’t go back there, we have to do whatever it is within our means to help. If it means we have to have her in our home, in our family…that’s just what we’ll do. She and Janis are good for each other- she’ll become family one day even if we don’t have her stay here now.”

Iolana agreed, looking over her shoulder. “I just can’t get over the look she had on her face at the school fair. She was terrified. And look at her now- that’s how I want her to look. Happy.”

Dinner turned out to be Portuguese Bean Soup with some rice, and butter mochi for dessert. You ate all of your share and Janis was beyond relieved and more so proud. Janis washed the dishes, you dried them. Iolana wiped the dining table while Kaino made microwave popcorn and picked out a movie to watch for the night. Kaino sat on the far end with his wife next to him. That allowed Janis to sit next to her and you at the same time. He picked out The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Anyway, the movie was fun while it lasted because you got sleepy roughly halfway through and told Janis you wanted to sleep. So, she took you upstairs to the bathroom to brush your teeth and then back down to her garage. Janis tucked you in and stayed with you until you fell asleep. She went back to the living area to finish watching the movie. Then, her parents decided to talk to her together about your new living arrangements.

“She’s going to stay here from now. We will answer to her parents if they want to talk, don’t engage. I know you want to stand up for her, but I want you safe.” Iolana instructed, “Okay?”

“If she wants to go take her things, me and Mama will take her.” Kaino added on, “I do not want you or y/n alone with her family.”

“I got it.” Janis sniffled, “I should’ve just made her stay here so much sooner.”

“Hey, no. None of that is your fault. It’s the parents’ fault, they never should have been parents. You didn’t know until recently, Maile. You’ve been helping her before you even knew, before she even told you.”

Iolana chimed in, “Now, you also know how to spot it when she’s going to regress. I know what you’re thinking, you wish you could just stop her from scratching herself…or doing whatever it is that she does to vent her feelings. You can try to redirect her, but if she doesn’t want to listen, or if it’s the safest thing for her to be doing instead, let her. But you keep an eye on her.”

“I know, mama. I just don’t like seeing her with all those scratches and bleeding and crying. I don’t want her to feel pain.”

Iolana cupped her face, she stroked her cheek. Janis tastes the salty tears on her lips. “We’ll work on that, one step at a time. Let’s just ensure she’s settled down here first before we proceed.”

Janis nodded.

“Okay, Maile?” Iolona swiped the tears away.

“Yeah, one step at a time.” Janis nodded, determined.

Kaino joked, attempting to lighten the mood, “I’ve always seen her as our hanai daughter, y’know? She just fits right into this family.”

Over the course of the next week, you began to quietly move out of your family’s house. You went there with either one of Janis’ parents, gathering as much of your stuff as possible, yet you also chose to leave whatever you could leave, behind. You didn’t want to raise suspicion.

You shared Janis’ garage, from the bed all the way down to the closet space. They did get you your own desk, Janis just had a lot of closet space.

That first official night with the ‘Imi’ike family felt like such a relief. You got woken up gently, and in the arms of your girlfriend. Breakfast was ready for you by the time you got dressed and ready. And, Iolana even dropped you and Janis off at school on her way to work. Iolana was a name partner of a law firm, so she pretty much ran on her own schedule.

You had a t-shirt on since long sleeves were uncomfortable in the summer heat and with your healing scabs. Most people didn’t pay attention to it, but Regina George wasn’t most people. The day was fine, until you ran into the apex predator. You were alone, in the bathroom trying to calm down from a panic attack. You had lunch right now while Janis was in art class.

The blonde was your reason for getting a panic attack- she kept staring at you, making faces at you and damn near tripped you. All while pulling a sickly sweet smile every time a teacher was looking so everything seemed fine.

“Leave me the fuck alone, I don’t need you making my life even worse than it already is.” You spat, splashing cold water on your face.

“So you’re not happy?”

“Of course I’m not happy, my family is shit—”

“Who did that to you?” She smirked.

You glared at her, “That’s enough. Move out of the way.”

“Did Janis do that to you? My God-”

“What are you on about? Leave me alone, you are so annoying.”

She had a hand on your shoulder, squeezing your flesh so hard it was going to bruise- again. This wasn’t the first time since you returned to school with the scratches on your arms. Regina was always finding a reason to mess with you. Her reasons never made any sense, You knew she was going to shove you and send you flying. So you reacted- by throwing her a punch. Your fist collided with her cheek, just shy of her eye.

She gathered herself quickly and you saw her jaw clench. You’ve never been able to outrun her, so you were bracing yourself for impact. “George!” You heard Norbury yell once Regina decided it would be a good day to twist your arm, “You lied to me. You have been bullying her and yet you’re always playing victim? Unbelievable. Principal’s office- now.”

Regina stomped out of the bathroom as though you were the one annoying her. “y/n, Janis is waiting for you with your bag. Her mom’s picking you both up early. Cady was worried so she came to me and luckily I found you.”

“I- I’m okay.” You scurried away to the pickup point where Janis was waiting, her backpack slung over one shoulder and yours on the other.

“We’re just gonna go home. You especially, you need some time off.” Iolana declared.

“Alright.” You agreed without a fuss, “Thanks for picking me up early.”

“I just want what’s best for you.” Iolana said back, looking in the rearview mirror.

“Thank you.” You told her again then curled up next to Janis, keeping your face hidden.

Janis pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, “You’re okay. She’s not going to get you, not anymore.”

“She’s suspended.” You said.

“Fucking finally.” Janis grumbled, “How about some ice cream, huh? Sound good?”

“Yeah.” You agreed tearfully.

Iolana smiled with relief, “I know just the place.”