#angst?

"si' love? could you get the door?"

mistake number one. you really shouldve just gone and answered it yourself. wouldnt be stuck in the middle of whatever shitshow this was.

"ye just feckin' left me! like ah was... a shite pair of underwear!"

simon riley stood solid infront of you, blocking you from the tantrum of the other man. his mean mug uncovered by the lack of his familar mask. blonde curls completely askew as he squinted away sleep, trying to reel together johnnys hooten and hollerin'. blonde brows furrowed completely, blinking slow.

johnny continued to point and proclaim. accusations that he probably created when blackout drunk, then decided to simply run with. he paced around your living room, pitiful as he whined and—

holy hell was he crying?

"mate, wot the fuck are ye talkin' 'bout?" johnny stopped. whipping around to face the both of you. sniffling as he glared at simon. yeah he had definitely been crying.

"[+] dumped me fer ye! like— like ah—" you pinched the bridge of your nose, glancing at simon. grey sweats hung low on his hips. youd deal with that later.

"johnny! i did not dump you! you completely forgot we were dating," you hissed. popping out around your big boyfriend and stomping closer to johnny. "and for the record, i met simon months later!"

"ah did nae! ye stopped reachin' eut!"

"the phone goes both ways you fucking idiot." his pout worsened, blues watery with dramatic tears as he fell to his knees and grabbed at your legs. howling like a man lost.

"what the hell are you doing? get up!" you shove at his head, growling curses as attemps to peel him away go unnoticed.

"...you two dated?" simons low voice rings through the wails of johnny. air shifts as you suck in a sharp breath. johnny stops from shaking your legs and you take the moment to rip away before your eyes settle on simon. chest hurling, taking a breath to recollect yourself.

you werent overly thrilled to be talking about exes with him, especially under circumstances where said ex was clawing at you desperately. nontheless however. "..i— yes, simon. this is my ex johnn—"

"you didn' fuckin' tell me when i was sitting straight 'cross from you?"

what?

johnny pales, hold on your legs constricting on instinct. he stutters, weary of looking his best friend in the eye.

"what? simon, no we broke up seven months before i ever met you," your voice tinges as a desperate plea, silence in the room static as you think his anger is directed at you. telling him of your past relationships didnt seem like something hed want to know.

but alas, simon riley was a man of paranoia. "i didnt know youd want to know an—"

johnny unslinks his hold around you. moving his head away with your shoving hand. he sighs, falling back on his heels. "lad means me, hen."

brows furrow as you glance between them. stepping back when you feel the tension brewing inbetween. feeling as if you were in the middle of their breakup.

"ah din say, because ah didn' knen how," the air electricifies.

"johnny," simon barks. lieutenant voice booming in your ears. both you and the scott go ridgid, fear turning your stomachs. "get the fuck up."

warbled groans leave your ex as he stands back on his feet. frown still evident, a twist at a usually grinning face. he glances with guilt weighed eyes. huffing as he tears them away from simons.

"ah just.. shite. ah didn' know what tae say wi' the breakup," he grits out, words forced out of his throat and laid bare before you both.

"an' ah didn agree.." he hisses. you scowl in offense.

you stand quiet. watching as the scott flexes his left hand anxiously. always did when you were onto him for stealing your favorite body scrub.

simons breathing is quiet. staring at johnny in astonishment, never did he believe johnny would keep as big of a secret as he did. never with the likes of you involved.

simon confied in johnny the most after the big reveal. johnny was the first to know the true depths his heart went for you. heard it first; simons plans to first say 'i love you'.

not once did johnny say a word.

"si', ahm really serry."

you almost feel bad for johnny, you knew he was close with his teammates. probably kept your past relations a secret in hopes to not disrupt things between you and simon himself. ghost was a loyal thing. simon would understand his position.

"out johnny." or not.

eyes widen and stare at simon. johnny hiccups, looking ready to cry all over again. you want to speak up, tell them both to shut the fuck up and truly understand eachother.

They were invested in the mision and dying even before they could fulfill their roles for the Project Hail Mary must be reason enough for them to have uncomplete things to do.

I like to think that they were accompaning Grace through his mission, giving him strenght to not lose his mind. That those moments in which he learned something about himself out of nowhere, or those sparks that lead them to solutions related to how to navigate Hail Mary were motivated by the efforts of Yáo and Ilyukhina to guide and help him.

Imagine with me:

Yáo and Ilyukhina not understanding they are dead at the start and thinking that they just wake up earlier (Yáo die first so he realize first in thinking this, when Ilyukhina dies Yáo explains to her that she did not survive the induced coma).

Yáo and Ilyukhina knowing that is cruel to wish for Grace to wake up sound and safe, just for him to be complete alone, but he is the only hope they have left.

Yáo and Ilyukhina feeling more at ease after Grace gives their corpses to the stars.

Ilyukhina been the most excited one about Rocky apparition, because she was an engineer and is just fascinated by what Rocky can do.

Yáo and Ilyukhina been indignated to have lost their chance to be part of the first contact in life.

Yáo trying to pass his knowledge as a captain to Grace, to ease his way with the controls.

Ilyukina been that little voice in Grace head of giving a chance to the Blip- A, that maybe they are friendly.

Yáo been a quiet force that supports Grace. There is point, at least in the book in which Grace seems to think that maybe he was brave, but he doesn't remember it, maybe that thought came from Yáo who believed that anyone could be brave.

All those little moments of luck been Ilyukhina and Yáo trying to influence so Rocky and Grace can have a successful mission.

Both ghosts, but specially Yáo bringing bad energies the moment they realize that Grace was sent against his will.

Ilyukhina crossing to the other side in peace the moment that realize that Rocky is the new engineer and that Grace has made the taumeba been able to survive Venus and the eridiani-2 planet.

Yáo crossing to the other side in peace when Grace decides to go rescue Rocky, because he can finally see Grace been truly brave for someone he cares.

Extra + Rocky

If Grace has 2 ghosts taking care of him, Rocky has 22.

22 eridian ghosts noticing the Hail Mary first and making it more noticiable for Rocky (maybe they made subtle sounds or vibrations so Rocky would have a better picture of it).

The Blip-B and Blip-C having a perfect trajectory to the Hail Mary thanks to the 22 eridian ghosts.

22 eridian ghosts celebrating that their single survivor has been able to be part of the first contact.

The Hail Mary been the home of 22 eridian ghosts who come in all the sizes and shapes.

22 eridian ghosts been fascinated with the alien that Grace is and how leaky he is.

22 eridian ghosts concentrating their efforts so Rocky is able to recover after been burn by the oxygen.

22 eridian ghosts using their best clothes (they are ghosts they can wear whatever they want) as a celebration for having succed in doing the taumeba.

22 eridian ghosts not knowing what to do once Blip-A starts failing and Rocky is left without astrophage.

22 eridian ghosts crossing to the other side in peace once they hear the knock outside the Blip-A, because Grace is here.

Extra Extra:

You joined the 141 almost a year ago, everything was great, minus one small detail. They all thought you were a guy. You wore a mask just like Simon, originally you got it to help blend in during missions but just like Simon you grew to love it and wear it daily. The 141 never asked about it, or pried you to take it off, probably because they were used to Simon, that's what made you stay. But because of that mask, they never saw you, and they had just assumed you were also a guy, and well you never corrected them. 

It was far from the first time someone assumed you were a guy, most of the time you just let people assume that. When they know you're a girl they tend to look down on you and doubt you, it just got easier for you if they thought you were a guy. You've had people straight up ignore you, but that never happens when they think you're a guy. You've been with the 141 long enough to know they don't think like that, but now it just seems so weird to tell them, and a part of you is worried they'll be mad that you lied to them. 

Honestly at first you weren't sure how you had gotten away with it, but over the years you've started piecing things together. Your callsign was bird because you had a deeper voice than the average girl, but a higher voice than the average guy. The callsign made people stop asking about your unusually high voice, they just accepted you were a guy with a higher voice, but they definitely made fun of you for it. Every month you claimed to be sick, and no one ever paid enough attention to the dates to see the consistency, Soap just joked that you had the worst immune system. You always wore baggy clothes, not to hide your identity but just because you liked it. You tended to wear a binder during training, honestly you just preferred it over a sports bra.

The most confusing thing to you was Price. He had looked over your chart, including your medical shit, so either he somehow didn't notice or he was just playing along. You later learned while out drinking with them that Price always asks Laswell to only give him the important bits of information, too much paper work he said,  apparently this didn't include your sex. You later called Laswell to confirm this and she just said your secret is safe with her, even after you explained it wasn't necessarily a secret. 

You've been on plenty of missions with the 141, and they never notice. Right now you were on a regular mission, that was until an enemy managed to sneak up behind you. They sliced your stomach before pushing you out of the window, they even managed to shoot you on your fall down. Thankfully the cut wasn't too deep, the shot only hit your upper arm, and they didn't come to confirm your death. Even with your injuries and fall you had enough energy to alert the team, very shakily you told them where you were. Simon immediately answered “stay there, I’m coming” you just kept mumbling his name softly, he had always been nice to you, and odd quiet sort of nice, not what you would expect from him. 

Your eyes were just starting to go blurry when you felt Simon pick you up. As soon as he gets you into the vehicle he starts taking care of your wounds. Putting pressure on your stomach, while Soap helps bandage the wound, Gaz putting pressure on your shoulder. You would definitely need stitches, and as soon as Price got in they were heading straight to the nearest hospital. Price was the one who removed your mask, he knew it was something personal but your life was more important and he needed to make sure you were breathing. You saw them all stare, the way they actually looked you over, now without all the gear on, their hands still worked following Simon's orders, but they looked utterly shocked, all of them except Simon. Simon focused on your wounds but he did look at your face once, almost as if he knew and understood.

RRRROUUXXLSLLSLSLLS

Does this count as angst? Idk 🪱

IF I GET MY HANDS ON THOSE PLAYING CARDS-

I am NOT discarting him 💙

Part three of The Rain series

Synopsis: Leona's POV from the night of the collapse + When he comes to visit The Prefect in the infirmary for the first time afterwards

TW: Injury, Ramshackle collapsing on The Prefect, Leona finds The Prefect, The Prefect IS NOT in a good state, Blood, Leona Vomits, Leona Cries

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (here), Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14

Leona wasn't going to answer the phone that night. When he got a call a call at 9pm at night he was planning to hit decline, but, by some stroke of fate perhaps, his finger slipped and he hit answer. He cursed under his breath and was about to end the call when his blood ran cold. On the other end of the line he could hear distant shouts and the sound of harsh rain before a voice broke through the noise: "Kingscholar, we need you at Ramshackle immediately! Ramshackle collapsed and The Prefect got caught under the rubble-"

Leona hung up on Professor Crewel before he could finish talking. Well, he didn't really hang up; he crushed his phone.