It’s sooooo fun to write Homelander having a crush. It’s so fun. Seeing the person he likes and going through a hot flash, heart pounding, sweaty palms moment in secret, but playing it very cool. It’s so fun.
Naturally, this works for every ship of his, but I’m currently thinking mainly about his m/f options because they’re a special kind of fun here.
I love thinking about all the times he had to keep a poker face when he heard Madelyn’s heels approaching — which would be very early, so he’s sitting around trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat for five to ten minutes. Him hearing her step into Vought tower and saying 'good morning' to security on the ground floor, while he's all the way up in their meeting room. She’s coming! Calm down. She’s coming. That's better. The croc heels by the sound of it. I won’t look. <- fighting to pay attention to what's hppening around him and failing. And then, of course, turning to her as soon as the door opens (seven or so minutes lter), Good morning, we need to talk about — (something he arranged in his mind while she was approaching)
The Stormfront crush was a little different. But I can see him being giddy about seeing her, too — we know he was pathetic about her, after all. Sending flowers and being embarrassed about it when he has time to overthink it. Awesome. You know he’s standing next to her and trying to subtly shift so their arms are brushing while pretending to look somewhere else and secretly hoping she’ll return the touch for some secret pda. (the cute part is that she DID indulge him. Patting his thigh during the interview, you know he was sweating with excitement)
I struggle to imagine what he was like with Maeve, but if we take his moments with Stormfront, I could imagine it being similar. Except the smooth little “shuffling closer” probably did NOT work because she would’ve ignored it. I do think that this could explain his controlling behaviour. We (again) see it with Stormfront: he’s vulnerable, realises that that’s failed (her not being around all day, IGNORING his flowers!), and tightening his grip on her in the process (the fear of looking like a fool, having been too soft etc turning into possessiveness and aggression until she soothes him. We can do a hen/egg discussion here since this comes after he’s been ‘betrayed’ by Madelyn and Maeve, but I could imagine him acting like that from the start). With all of that being said, my point is that him being like this with Maeve could point to the fact that he WAS similarly vulnerable with her. But also - Getting to hold her hand for the camera and being so giddy about it, getting a little too hyped with the crowd, "HeheHEY it's so GREAT to see you all here, here with my WONDERFUL- Isn't she just awesome, guys? Queen Maeve!" etc. While she's smiling through it.. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes behaviour.
as for non-canon ships
Sage is fun because he'd have this whole thing of We have to be cool. It's fine. She'll NOTICE we have to be cool. There's nothing to be uncool about, she's nobody, we MADE her, we, oh, oh God. -- I could actually see him overcompensating and being deliberately professional with her, not touching her at all, treating her like he doesn't care at alllll, she's just his smart little advisor, and he's so tense by the end of it that he has to go to his suite and crawl right under his blanket, flag and all, and hide his face for a bit. Oh god she did smell nice again. Did she notice? No. We were so subtle. She's not THAT smart.
I think he could be pissed about it with Annie. Getting angry at himself and her because he can't get at her (Hughie Campbell!!!! growl!). So for her I could actually see him twisting that feeling until he gets satisfaction out of hurting her. But it's still kind of there, simmering in the pit of his stomach. They're playing big happy family on the red carpet, she stumbles little (maybe A-Train nudged her out of the way) and he gets to put his arm! around her! to steady her. Warm soft little star, her hair close to his face. He chews her out for it later (biting her plush lip, shoulders tense) and promptly forces her to stumble himself, next time around. Both of their hearts pounding, almost in time with each other.
Victoria is super interesting because she's the only one not in his grasp, not at Vought. He has no Vought-style power over her and they don't know each other, They don't see that much of each other, either, and I find it sooo funny to imagine him having this whole Alright. Vice President Neumann time. Let's go, let's scare her a little. self pep talk, and then he sees her, sees her see him, a brief moment of eye contact across the room, and his heart leaps, stomach swoops, and he frowns, What the fuck was that? Wait, oh no. What?! But he's already made his way over to her and now he has to compensate, bright smile (too bright), "President Neumann! AhHAHA well, not yet! But don't you worry, we'll get you there, won't we?" Awkward wink as he's shaking her hand and he's sooo glad he's wearing gloves right now because his palms! are! sweaty!!
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